Eurovision Song Contest - Estonia 2002
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by Ben Cook
Love it or hate it, the Eurovision Song Contest is still extremely
popular - last year it attracted around 100,000,000 viewers all over
the world. Although it has a stigma for being camp and cheesy, there
are a lot of good pop songs in the mix this year. Inevitably though,
there are still a large number of embarrassingly bad ones which don't
do much for the Eurovision's reputation. Let's face it, most people
only watch it for Terry Wogan's sarcastic comments and the bad hair,
clothes and songs.
This year, all twenty-four entries are released on a compilation CD.
You're probably best off waiting until after the competition before
deciding to buy it unless you're a huge fan, because there are a number
of unwanted weeds.
1. CYPRUS - Gimme
Boy band ONE will kick off the competition at 8pm on May 25th with this
rather cheesy piece of pop. Don't be deterred by the possibility that
they will be taking off most of their clothes, to cover up for the fact
that the song is just plain awful - it does get better after this,
trust me. The most helpful description I can give is to think of Brit
Pack's "Set Me Free", if you can even remember that.
Prediction: Top 20
2. UNITED KINGDOM - Come Back
A nice change - we've entered a bit of class this year which should do
pretty well. We can at the very least be assured of a strong live
performance this time, with a ballad performed by Pop Idol finalist
Jessica Garlick. It should be a reasonably big hit in the charts, and
with televoters all over Europe. Where we might fall down is our lack
of friends in Euroland.
Prediction: Top 5
3. GREECE - S.A.G.A.P.O.
Weird song this one. It's like an unusual 1980s robotic dance vomit,
not typical Eurovision material at all. It's quite popular with the
fans though, so it might do OK. However, it's still in danger of
relegation I think, a far cry from their Top 3 success last year.
Prediction: Top 15
4. AUSTRIA - Say A Word
A very sing-a-long-a-D:Ream sort of song. Awful lyrics like "Say a word
and I'll be there, say a word and I will care." Not very memorable at
all, and it looks like Austria will be out of 2003.
Prediction: Top 20
5. SPAIN - Europe's Living A Celebration
This is very highly regarded by Eurovision fans. Ultra camp and ultra
happy pop from a rather large girl called Rosa, who won Spain's Pop
Idol equivalent, 'Operation Triunfco'. It's sung mostly in Spanish,
except the main line. This can't fail really, it's very strong and is
going to get a lot of votes. I wouldn't be surprised if it won.
Prediction: Top 5
6. CROATIA - Everything I Want
Awful awful awful. There was a good song here before they butchered
it - now it just sounds like a row. It's sort of ethnic pop, and it's
not camp, which makes a change, but I don't see this doing very well.
The girl really can't sing.
Prediction: Top 15
7. RUSSIA - Northern Girl
Who do they think they are, *N Sync? This is similar to the Cypriot
entry, but perhaps ever so slightly better. They probably won't do
quite as well though, because they don't take their clothes off and
they don't have the guaranteed 12 points from Greece that Cyprus will
get.
Prediction: Relegation
8. ESTONIA - Runaway
Well, this is one of the better songs in this year's competition.
Estonia haven't been entering Eurovision very long, but they always
seem to submit good songs, probably because there isn't a stigma
attached to it there. Of course, they're the host country this year,
and it'll no doubt do wonders for their tourism. The song is very
strong, a good pop song sung by a pretty girl called Sahlene, who is
actually Swedish. It's been criticised for sounding suspiciously like
R Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" though.
Prediction: Top 5
9. MACEDONIA - Od Nas Zavisi
Nooooo! Stop screaming woman! Absolutely diabolical, the chorus is
virtually non-existent and the girl just screams completely off-key.
Some strange people think it'll do well but I beg to differ. A definite
tea break song.
Prediction: Relegation
10. ISRAEL - Let's Light A Candle
Yuck. A ballad with a horrific chorus: "Liiiiiiight a candle, a
thousand candles in the dark will open our hearts." The singer sounds a
bit like a chipmunk. About time they took a year out methinks.
Prediction: Relegation
11. SWITZERLAND - Dans Le Jardin De Mon Ame
Boring. Another dirge of a ballad and it's in French. Bye bye
Switzerland.
Prediction: Relegation
12. SWEDEN - Never Let It Go
This is probably the favourite to win. A very good party song that's
currently No. 1 in Sweden, performed by a three-piece girl band called
Afro-Dite. Ever so slightly reminiscent of ABBA, but not so much as the
usual Swedish entries. This one will get you on your feet if you've had
a few to drink.
Prediction: Winner?
13. FINLAND - Addicted To You
Another girl that struggles to stay in key. Similar sort of upbeat song
to Sweden, but a lot weaker. What often happens when two similar songs
are put together is the better one kicks the other's arse. I think
that's likely to happen here, although they might make the Top 10.
Prediction: Top 10
14. DENMARK - Tell Me Who You Are
Yet another young female solo singer, yet another pop song. The best I
can describe is that it's similar in style to Billie Piper's "Day &
Night". Not strong enough to challenge the big songs in my opinion.
Prediction: Top 15
15. BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA - Fairytales Of Love
Might appeal to some people, this is a bit like last year's winner.
Anyone under 21 will think it's awful, but those over that age might
think it's good, especially if they give a good performance. I wish
they'd get relegated though, they always give us tripe.
Prediction: Top 15
16. BELGIUM - Sister
A very deep-voiced man singing an 80s rock-style tune. Not very
Eurovisiony, but again could appeal to many people who like a 'proper'
song, not bubblegum pop. A sneaky outsider to win I think. God help us
if it does.
Prediction: Top 10
17. FRANCE - Il Faut De Temps
Do I even need to review this? Needless to say, it's another Celine
Dion impressionist. The song is actually quite good, easily as strong
as their Top 5 entry last year. However, it's entirely in French, so it
might suffer as most of the rest are in English.
Prediction: Top 10
18. GERMANY - I Can't Live Without Music
Just as you were losing faith in the Eurovision, along comes another
camp, frankly G-A-Y sort of tune. Just too fruity for me. Could either
do very well, or flop completely like our Nicki French did two years
ago.
Prediction: Top 5
19. TURKEY - Leylakar Soldu Kalbinde
Interestingly, this is fairly good for Turkey! Good ethnic beats, quite
catchy. It won't do that well as most people won't understand a word of
it. Oh what am I saying? It's rubbish.
Prediction: Top 15
20. MALTA - 7th Wonder
Very pleasant song, cute is the word. "Is it good is it bad, am I
simply going mad." The beginning sounds like the start of a children's
TV programme or song, but I can't quite put my finger on it. It's quite
charming, though I'm not too convinced about the girl's vocal
abilities. May just about make the Top 10.
Prediction: Top 10
21. ROMANIA - Tell Me Why
Oh I won't even bother reviewing this, you know what it's going to be
like.
Prediction: Relegation
22. SLOVENIA - Samo Ljubesen
Here we go then, a bit of controversy. This is sung by three
transvestites dressed up as... trolley dollies! Heaven knows why. They
caused a bit of a stir in Slovenia because it appeared no one at home
wanted them to win, but the jurors did. I should think the Slovenians
are a bit embarrassed by the whole thing, it's just terrible.
Prediction: Relegation
23. LATVIA - I Wanna
Everyone seems to have
dismissed this, but it has quite a good chance. Sung by a pretty girl
called Marie, the song has a slight Latino-style, a bit like "She
Bangs" by Ricky Martin. "I wanna see lobster in your eyes" - OK, she
doesn't really sing that, but it sounds like it. Could sneak up and
surprise us all.
Prediction: Top 10
24. LITHUANIA - Happy You
Worst song of the whole competition. Awful production, awful voice,
awful song. They can't even pronounce the words properly, "Heppy I cuz
heppy you..."
Prediction: Relegation
So all in all, Eurovision hasn't changed that much, but it's always
worth watching if you're a pop music fan or just want an entertaining
night. If you're expecting top quality music, then you'll be
disappointed!
Eurovision Song Contest 2002
8pm, Saturday May 25th, BBC One
WEBSITE:
Eurovision Song Contest Official Site
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