Have a look at the current crop of topics uppermost in the News & Gossip thread, and mix and match bits and pieces from each to create your own hot news story headline.
Congratulations, you're already half-way to being a red-top journalist!
Here's mine, to get the ball rolling:
Simon Cowell hospitalised after Jedward land their own ITV2 show
"A look into Angela Merkel’s luggage for today’s EU summit is likely to reveal an extra blouse, a big stick and no carrot."