Here's a great interview Aub's has just done giving us a little bit of an idea of what's to come...
With all of the controversy being printed and published in recent media regarding Aubrey O’Day, we set out to put the record straight by going straight to the source: we consulted O’Day herself.
Throughout our entire interview with her, O’Day was completely raw and organic with what she had to say, from her contention with Sean “Diddy” Combs to her soon-to-premier reality TV show and her up-coming solo album. Here’s the bare of it all:
Dynamik: We’re here with Aubrey. How are you doing?
O’Day: I’m great. How are you?
Dynamik: Good. So, new year coming up, new goals. What have you been up to, or what can we expect?
O’Day: I finished off last year headlining “Peepshow” in Vegas. So, the beginning of this year, I started my brand new project of recording my first solo album and I was pitching a show to the Oxygen Network to have my own reality show, which got picked up, so I start filming for that in a week.
Dynamik: Awesome! What can people expect from this reality show? There are a lot on TV, what makes yours different?
O’Day: I think I’m going more with the trend of television that’s starting to really become popular and unfold, which is just more of a real, honest type of show. There’s no planned scenes or acting or anything scripted. Everything is very genuine to the process, which is going to be [about] coming back as a solo artist and all of the battles that I face personally and career-wise. And then, also, we address a little bit of the past and how that affected me and, in general, what it’s like to be somebody, just like anybody else, who sat on the couch and watched TV and had a dream, and then, all of a sudden, was starring in a show that people were watching and, you know, what it’s like to make your dreams a reality and then deal with what comes next, which is the reality of the industry.
Dynamik: After Danity Kane, there were so many rumors – which are bound to happen when you step into any entertainment field. What was the hardest thing about being in the media that you just weren’t prepared for?
O’Day: I think the thing I wasn’t prepared for the most was how the entertainment industry is about ten percent talent-based and 90 percent everything else (laughs).
Dynamik: Pretty much.
O’Day: I think that was definitely a shock for me because I had always used my talent and focused on being the best singer, dancer, and actor too, as I could – really trying to be a strong triple threat and perfect my talent and push myself to my furthest potential. Those things really don’t matter as much on a large scale when it comes to the entertainment industry… at least not currently. And that’s kind of a harsh reality to face. It’s also a hard reality when you really believe in something and you really have high expectations for it, you kind of see the business become more important than the goal, the dream, the talent. I think all of those things are disheartening, but it’s like anything in life; it’s like when you’re young and you can find so much enjoyment in watching water shoot out of fountains and it’s just the most exciting thing to watch and observe and kids can just sit there for hours. Then, as you get older and you know more about life and the reality of how everything works, you become a little more jaded, a little less into spending hours watching fountains spit out water (laughs).
Dynamik: Who do you think, since all this, kept you grounded through it all. When you’re going through all the media and press and all these rumors and one thing after the other, who did you turn to, or who kept you, balanced?
O’Day: That’s a hard question because my support systems are kind of varied throughout this experience and a lot of that, my personal struggles with family, you’ll see on my reality show. But I would say just having faith. I know that that sounds crazy and I’m not even the most religious person but I think that there’s something to say for having beliefs that you can change things that you don’t like. So, I think having faith that the things that I didn’t like and the things that were hard for me and that were creating a large struggle in my life, and knowing that I had the potential to change them for somebody else.
Dynamik: It’s good and it’s hard to hear too that, for someone who does come into the entertainment industry, it changes everyone in their life. It changes who treats you in a different way and it changes those who were your friends growing up or who weren’t your friends growing up.
O’Day: It totally does. I was just out to dinner with Andrea from my group and we were having a bond-talk finally, two years after Danity Kane had broken up, about like, “What would our lives had been like if this whole thing had never happened?” I mean, it’s definitely interesting to think about how far and how different our lives have grown from where we thought we would be at this age.
Dynamik: You’re 26 now. What advice would you give to someone who is saying, “You know what? This looks good,” since some people think any exposure is good exposure, when, really, sometimes it’s not?
O’Day: I’m not the best person to give advice when it comes to that because I’ve done a lot of things that are perceived as something that isn’t in the best of taste or isn’t the best exposure. I would say that the industry, like I said, 90 percent being the business aspect, that’s a very important thing that I constantly have my team stressing to me. But, in all honesty, if you’re just asking me, all industry bull-s**t aside, I don’t really know. I don’t like having to play that game. I don’t like having to watch my moves and not be able to make mistakes and be honest and open about them. I don’t like having to pretend that I’m something I’m not and I don’t like always having to make specific moves that people see as the right moves, because I don’t really believe there is right or wrong, I just believe that focusing on doing what people think is right keeps you in line and conformed to what’s hot now, and it doesn’t really give you a career with longevity because what’s hot is always changing and anybody, at any moment, can redefine it.
Dynamik: Yeah, what might have been wrong or right for you at a certain time is only going to help you grow and no one can tell you if it was a right or wrong decision because you wouldn’t really be where you are right now if you didn’t make those wrong choices or those good ones or whatever they were for you.
O’Day: Totally. I mean, I’ve made so many very strong decisions in my life, from the first time I spoke back to Diddy to just doing Playboy. As an artist who just wants to be taken seriously, none of those things have been done in the history of the music industry, as boldly as I have. I don’t want to have to live by anyone else’s rules. That’s the whole reason why I preferred taking a job like this – because I didn’t have to go to a desk job, nine-to-five, and have somebody telling me what to do all day long. I have a little more freedom to make my own choices and to decide what I want to do when I wake up and how I want to use my creative abilities. I think that it’s just a fine line. I think the people who play the game are the biggest names out there. Those people aren’t so amazing to me because all they really mastered is learning how to play the game. But, they are the ones who are more successful. You get to a point where you ask yourself that question: “Do you want success and money or do you want to stay true to who you are and what you believe in?” Every person has to decide what’s more important to them.
Dynamik: From what we’ve seen in just two years, you’re not afraid to speak your mind if you’re not believing in something, let alone if you have a strong opinion about something.
O’Day: Totally. The girls in my group always used to say, “Aubrey, you can’t say things like that to P. Diddy! He has so much money and he has all the power and he runs this industry and he knows everybody and he can ruin your career at a snap of a finger!” and “You can’t talk like that to people!” People were so shocked, but, to me, I never looked at it as money or power. I looked at the decision and the specific instance and the choice he was making and if it’s wrong, it’s wrong. This is not something we haven’t seen before. People that have their own business-interest in mind rob artists every day, all day long. And that’s kind of what this industry is, in general, really, a give-and-take of people using and abusing each other’s abilities. I think that it’s good to sometimes keep your mouth shut, which I’ve had to learn the hard way (laughs), and I think it’s good sometimes to speak up and not allow yourself to be taken advantage of. I think that there’s a fine line. I always stand up when I see something that’s unfair and when I feel like I’m being taken advantage of because I don’t think that that’s right and no amount of money or power could ever make me think that it’s right. But that’s just me, personally. Not everybody has that mission statement stamped on their forehead.
Dynamik: At the end of the day, you’ve been very honest with, even the video you made for the “It Gets Better” campaign. Doing a video for that is a very bold statement because, in this society, some people are still homophobic or against gay rights, and it’s such a huge thing in California. One of the things that stood out to us the most was that you were like, “I am the queen of the D list!” You’re saying, “Look at my success, but I’m still going through my struggles, I’m still trying to work through it,” and nothing’s as perfect as it seems on the outside – that’s the message we got from it. You’re basically saying, “Look, I’m still trying.”
O’Day: Yeah, and even bigger than that, you can’t define yourself by other people’s words. What the hell does D-list mean anyway? I have no idea what that even means.
Dynamik: We don’t even know what that means.
O’Day: It’s a term that, like, stuck up people that have no talent created in order to sell a brand and a product. There’s no such thing as A-list, D-list. It’s just a way to categorize people and make them feel bad about themselves. All those things ever do is make the celebrities who get listed under them feel bad or feel like they didn’t do enough, and it’s so ridiculous. I mean, there are people on the A-list who made pornos to start their career out and there are people on the A-list who have worked every day since they were a kid to perfect their talent, and the same thing for the D-list. You know, they’re all the same, it’s all the same criteria, all the same thing, it’s just that whatever the media gets a hold of and decides who you are, you kind of get labeled. These are unfair circumstances, and it happens in the gay community, it happens with race, it happens with everybody in their adolescent years, and, frankly, adults too. Adults struggle with it, everybody’s struggling with it. I guess what I was trying to say with that video is just words don’t matter, they only have the power that you allow them to have. I spent a long time feeling like everything Diddy said to me when I got fired was true; I was going to lose my career, I was never going to be anything but a naked model, you know, I’d flushed my whole entire career down the tube ‘cause I didn’t shut up and just listen and obey, and on and on and on and on. I’m not super-human. I definitely read blogs and see what people say about me and it hurts. And I had been in a place where I allowed those words to have meaning in my life and it was making me miserable. So I stopped. And it’s really as easy as that.
Dynamik: We forget, not being in the entertainment industry, that you guys can still go on Google and search your own names and see who’s criticizing you, who’s scrutinizing you, who’s basically tearing you apart. But it’s just some guy (or girl) who is insecure and a lot of people who are criticizing are those insecure people and it’s really sad.
O’Day: All of them who are criticizing are. You want to know a funny thing and the reason why I know that to be a fact? It’s because every time I criticize someone, it’s because I’m jealous; I want what they have or whatever it may be. I mean, if you really think about the times that you gossip and hate on people, it’s because they did something that stood out to you or that makes you insecure or that, somehow, projects whatever insecurity you have or illuminates it, makes you feel uncomfortable, so you talk bad about it. I’m not above being catty or talking s**t, everybody does it – I only do it when I’m feeling insecure or jealous and that’s why everybody does it. So, if you really put it in perspective to your own behaviour, it makes absolute sense.
Dynamik: It’s true; girls do it, guys do it. Everyone does it, whatever they’re going through and it becomes meaner when they’re more insecure, when they don’t have anything going for them. The people who are following you and who respect you, who are probably the only people that matter or should matter, they have more respect for when you fall and you get back up and you try again. And you are! With the new show coming out on Oxygen and your solo album, it’s showing that, whatever Diddy said, whatever everyone else said, just take it with a grain of salt. You’re proving everyone wrong and only good things are going to come from you and everyone’s just waiting. Don’t say you’re on the D-list, ‘cause you’re not!
O’Day: (laughs) You know, I love that Kathy Griffin kind of embraced that as a joke with her television show, and I applaud people like that because there really is no such thing. It’s very hard to be in the entertainment industry and it’s very hard to be criticized and to put your life on a chopping block for the world to chop at. I think anybody in this industry, “porn star” to “A-list actress”, deserves our accolades. It’s hard enough and there are all these people who go out there and try to share who they are to the world. And, by the way, everyone has the ability to touch someone. It doesn’t matter [about] talent, non-talent. There are different things that attract different people and if you can get to a place where you’re attracting enough people to send out a good message, it’s then that I think defines the, let’s say, so-called “A-list” from the “D-list.” It’s your message and it’s what you’re saying with your celebrity.
Dynamik: For sure. It’s great what you’re doing and you could have just crawled up in a ball and not done anything after it. It’s good that you worked through it. The only thing we’re wondering now is do you have anyone to share it with?
O’Day: My dogs.
Dynamik: Ginger and Mary-Anne?
O’Day: Oh yeah, they see everything – every last tear, everything. I feel like, if I ever get to a place where I feel I should be in life, my dogs are going to be like, “Finally, b***h, you put us through enough.”
Dynamik: (laughs) They’re going to need counseling.
O’Day: Totally. They have such privileged lives. When I die I want to come back as one of them.
Dynamik: Well it’s good that you’ve been loyal to them and they’ve been loyal to you.
O’Day: They’re my family.
Dynamik: When does your show actually premier for everyone?
O’Day: It’s going to premier first quarter – it will either be in January or March.
Dynamik: And what about the solo album?
O’Day: The music will be interviewed to the world through the show, so the music will probably be released throughout the show or after the show, but the process of me making it and going through all of it is going to be true to filming and true to form. Like I said, there’s nothing’s scripted. So, the entire honest battle of what I’m going through is going to play out on camera. I can’t give you any answers about all of it yet because it’s not finished.
Dynamik: What were you going through while writing these songs? Is it much different from Danity Kane?
O’Day: It’s been a lot of emotions – a lot of bad, a lot of good. I, obviously, think I have a lot more “struggling” music than “Life’s amazing” and “I love my man” type music (laughs). I think it’s just going to be a battle cry for strong women and it’s going to be honest about the times that you’re down and honest about the times that you’re up. What I hope it ends up being is a message bigger than the music – which would be to keep going, always in life, to just keep pushing through the bad times.
Dynamik: What you’re doing is great and we only wish you more success and happiness and no more of this negative media, it’s just exhausting!
O’Day: It seems to make the world go ‘round right now, but not in the most beautiful way that it can circulate. You know, at the end of the day, we’re the ones that make the difference. We can’t blame anyone but ourselves. We’re the ones who buy the magazines and go online and read the crap. It starts at home, one by one. It takes person by person to decide not to be negative and not to be hateful and not to say bad things. We started a coin jar in my house and every time anything hateful was said, we put coins in it. My best friend, my assistant, everybody always does it because I try to keep all of the negative commentary, at least, out of my home. I think it just brings bad energy.
Dynamik: A lot of people would be broke if they put a coin into a jar every time they said something hateful. Thank you for joining Dynamik Magazine online and we hope to catch up with you again during your show and once your album’s released.
O’Day: Thank you it’s been great!