Ever been abused or getting abused?

by **Crazy4Brit** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:42 am

frisbee wrote:
Crazy4Brit wrote:A sort of in 1998 in Greece. It was summer and i had just turned 5 and he was 22 or 23, he was our neighbours' son and i knew him so he came to our house when my mum was at work.

He made "unusual games" and things like that. Only when i got older i realised what kind of games were lol
:o

Was it a traumatic experience?

At the time it was strange because i didn't realize how bad the thing was as i was only 5.

He was the first naked boy i've ever seen. Well, at least he was a cute young boy and not an old man. Let's look at the positive point :lol:

by **rihmonster** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:03 am

dI can't believe i'm posting this here but here I go, so I met this guy at my job and we started dating (I even posted about it in the relationship advice thread :oops:

) everything was going fine then his dad kicked him out so I couldn't just let him live on the streets so I secretly (I live with my parents and i'm 17 btw) let him live with me, the first few days were great, I got to see him everyday, I went to sleep in his arms, etc... but then he started getting depressed because he didn't have a job or a place of his own, and this is where the abuse starts after a few weeks of depression and telling me he wanted to kill himself he began to take his anger/frustrations out on me, everyday he would find a way to insult me or make me feel small, then I helped him get a job where I work at so that he could save up and get his own place, he finally got his own place and wants me to move in (I haven't decided yet), I figured things would get back the way they used to be but I was wrong, still the same insults and now its beginning to get physical, a few days ago because I wouldn't let him use my cellphone (because I was upset after previously being called a "disgusting ugly b***) he kicked me in the side while I was on the bed. So I pushed him against the wall and he tackled me on the bed and started choking me. I want to leave him but I simply can't he lives down the road from me, we work at the same place, etc... I just feel trapped.

by **Titan3510** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:20 am

rihmonster wrote:dI can't believe i'm posting this here but here I go, so I met this guy at my job and we started dating (I even posted about it in the relationship advice thread ) everything was going fine then his dad kicked him out so I couldn't just let him live on the streets so I secretly (I live with my parents and i'm 17 btw) let him live with me, the first few days were great, I got to see him everyday, I went to sleep in his arms, etc... but then he started getting depressed because he didn't have a job or a place of his own, and this is where the abuse starts after a few weeks of depression and telling me he wanted to kill himself he began to take his anger/frustrations out on me, everyday he would find a way to insult me or make me feel small, then I helped him get a job where I work at so that he could save up and get his own place, he finally got his own place and wants me to move in (I haven't decided yet), I figured things would get back the way they used to be but I was wrong, still the same insults and now its beginning to get physical, a few days ago because I wouldn't let him use my cellphone (because I was upset after previously being called a "disgusting ugly b***) he kicked me in the side while I was on the bed. So I pushed him against the wall and he tackled me on the bed and started choking me. I want to leave him but I simply can't he lives down the road from me, we work at the same place, etc... I just feel trapped.

Well...the first things first, thanks for sharing this with us.

The first thing that you need to do is tell your parents. Immediately.

Not just them though. Tell your boss, one or two more responsible adults that you can trust, and your closest friends. I know it sounds beyond absurd but there's strength in numbers.

The big problem that victms of relationship violence find themselves in is that they have nowhere to run to because they have been cut off from their family and friends for so long.

But you're one of the lucky ones. So you need to do the opposite and surround yourself with your family and friends.

The second thing you need to do is stop entertaining him so much. That means stop sleeping with him and that means

And I'm guessing you have tried talking to him?

Regardless of what the answer is, try talking to him again but this time have one or two people in the room with you two just in case something bad happens.

I apologize if I'm coming off as rude or whatever but you need to jump to it before things get worse.

And trust me. They will get worse.

Do you live in America? Or are you in Europe or Asia?

by **Muzikritik** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 6:57 am

^^^ Smart advice. Well said.

And titan's right. You did the right thing by trying to help someone in need and he's paid you back with morally reprehensible behaviour - seemingly because of his own deeply-rooted and selfish reasons.

There's absolutely no shame in telling people.

He's taken advantage of your kind nature but don't think that he'll stop there.

Head up!

by **jpguy** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 5:46 pm

IMO You have to let him know that if he keeps on acting like that , you might call the police if he keeps on acting like this... try to talk to someone that is near you and let them know that he's abusing and using you! You don't need to go thru all this!

by **Titan3510** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 6:16 pm

Nah...I would hold off on involving the police.

Because this problem can be easily remedied by your family and friends.

Just let everyone in your life know what you're going through. And they should rally to your defense and keep an eye out on you...just in case, he wants to ge vengeful.

IF things escalate in any sort of way, then you notify the police. Or if you parents recommend that you do you might want to notify them.

How old is he?

by **preyan** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:46 pm

Growing up, I was physically, mentally and psychologically abused!!! Was belittled to the extent where I questioned whether I'd make a success out of life. Dont wish it upon anyone!!!! It's can question hor morals, ethics, integrity, everything.

Needless to say, moving on alone was scary a first but I was determined to do life my way...the postive and empowering way. For both myself and those around me!!!

No regrets!!! Compared to the homeless, starved, etc. my life is bliss! Show appreciation for everything and anything!!!

by **Brazilian** » Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:58 pm

Several times,during my adolescence. Sometimes I mull about how much that fact could had affected the development of my personality.Otherwise,I really don't consider myself as a victim,but that people as coward criminal.

by **rihmonster** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 4:38 pm

Sorry it took so long to respond but yeah I have tried to break up with him but it didn't work, if I break up with him he won't have anywhere to go. I'm just trapped he saw what I posted on here after he went through my phone and he said that he wanted to kill himself and that he was gonna "kill himself and let me come find his body in his apartment" I honestly don't know what to do so I lied and told him I would stay with him

by **Titan3510** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 4:51 pm

GURL!

Have you lost your mind?!

He's not trapping you. He's getting you to trap yourself.

Have you gone and told your loved ones like I told you to? Have you surrounded yourself with people who will make sure no harm comes to the both of you?

Hopefully, you haven't gone back to sleeping with him...

But anyways, you have to break up with him. And you need to let other people know what is going. As soon as possible.

And what do you mean he'll have nowhere to go? I thought he has his own job and his own apartment now...

by **rihmonster** » Tue May 01, 2012 12:25 am

It's easier said than done, I have talked with my bestfriend about it and she is going through something similar and yes.

He went back to his place tonight after I told him I wanted him to go back to New York and he responded and said "no i'm not leaving" and we haven't been sleeping together (sexually).

He currently has somewhere to go but he lost his job because our manager found out he had stole something from the store we work at and i'm not sure how he is gonna pay his rent for the month so that's what I mean by he doesn't have anywhere to go. I just wish he would take my advice and use his last check to get a train ticket back to New York. I no longer want to be in a relationship with someone like him and he just doesn't get it.

I haven't been physically or verbally abused since he saw what I posted but I still don't want to continue in a relationship with him.

I feel trapped because he just won't go and leave me alone!!!

by **Titan3510** » Tue May 01, 2012 12:42 am

rihmonster wrote:It's easier said than done, I have talked with my bestfriend about it and she is going through something similar and yes.

Have you talked to your parents?!

He currently has somewhere to go but he lost his job because our manager found out he had stole something from the store we work at and i'm not sure how he is gonna pay his rent for the month so that's what I mean by he doesn't have anywhere to go. I just wish he would take my advice and use his last check to get a train ticket back to New York. I no longer want to be in a relationship with someone like him and he just doesn't get it.

I haven't been physically or verbally abused since he saw what I posted but I still don't want to continue in a relationship with him.

I feel trapped because he just won't go and leave me alone!!!

Look, I know it's easier said than done but you need to talk to your parents. Stop trying to do this on your own. Tell another responsible adult you trust...at school or work or something...

After you get yourself situated, you need to help your best friend.

It's all in your mind: you still live with your parents. You're not trapped. You just think you are.

Have you guys talked about what he saw in your post?