Matthew's Chart of 2022 - Complete

[matthew_dixon]

Hi all,

I think it's time to get this post started. I've posted my last chart of November, so will be able to do a countdown as at the start of December. As I'm not planning on listening to loads of songs in advance, this isn't technically a chart of 2022, as it includes December 2021 but not December 2022. Anything to have entered my chart from the start of December 2021 to the start of December 2022 qualifies - so that includes album tracks but sometimes only includes part of an album, where the album has crossed over.

So - let's start the poll going. One of the songs in this poll will make my No. 1 - but what will it be?

[JSparksFan]

I wouldn't mind Adele, but went for "Bruno" in the poll.

[matthew_dixon]

Okay - I was going to see if I could post a signature to promote this, but I've last had one so long ago that I've forgotten how to do so! Any help would be much appreciated.

Anyway - given it's not even December yet, let's start with a worst chart. An awful lot of these at the start are rather close, there's not much to choose between them, but all are awful.

40. Central Cee - Khabib
39. Blackpink - Pink Venom
38. Central Cee - Cold Shoulder
37. Drake - Sticky
36. Hstikkytokky and J Fado - Hold This
35. Oliver Tree and Robin Schulz - Miss You
34. Konstrakta - In Corpore Sano
33. Clavish featuring D-Block Europe - Rocket Science
32. Bugzy Malone and Teedee - Out Of Nowhere
31. Fred Again - Delilah (Pull Me Out Of This)

So - what can be said of my first 10? Well, I considered a certain number of Eurovision entries, and one that really was a "WTF" moment was when the Serbian entrant Konstrakta started singing about Meghan Markle's hair! What was that all about? Then there's some pretty dire dance music from Oliver Tree and Robin Schultz. Other than that, it's dull rap track after dull rap track. Two entries in this section from Central Cee - someone who has had a fair amount out this year and I've not seen the fuss in any of it. This is far from the last for some of those acts in my worst chart!

EDIT: Just realised that I actually missed including four songs - one of which is firmly in my worst chart (basically I missed the ones from December 2021 that were so bad they'd left my chart by the start of 2022). Therefore, the Game and Kanye are saved, and a really dull dance track makes it into this batch.

[Marius]

Never heard any of these but i am always happy to see the massively overrated Drake and Kanye in a worst chart.

[JSparksFan]

One of those songs will feature among my "Best of 2022" list.

Okay - I was going to see if I could post a signature to promote this, but I've last had one so long ago that I've forgotten how to do so! Any help would be much appreciated.

User settings --> Account --> Edit post signature --> Post URL

You may want to hyperlink it like this:

[url = https://www.ukmix.org/forum/chart-di...2-worst-40-31] Matthew's Chart of 2022 [/url] <-- I added the spaces between the opening url and = sign so you could see the 'inner workings', but you would need to close the two spaces.

[matthew_dixon]

Ahhh - thank you! I'd been on that page loads searching but totally missed it!

[flopho]

not my girl Konstrakta

but happy that Robin Schulz is there, should've been in the top 10 and not only because of the song

[cheapthrills]

So the songs in your poll are potential #1s for you year-end, or potential #1s for the worst of the year?

EDIT: Oh good, I was concerned. I will vote for The Divine Comedy, but not the Christmas one because I can't imagine a holiday song had much time to rack up points for you.

[matthew_dixon]

The songs in the poll are contenders for my BEST song of the year. I'm just posting a worst chart first.

[matthew_dixon]

30. Kendrick Lamar - N95
29. LF System - Afraid To Feel
28. Tion Wayne and M24 - Knock Knock
27. Headie One, Abra Cadabra and Bandokay - Can't Be Us
26. Future featuring Drake and Tems - Wait For U
25. K-Trap - Warm
24. Central Cee - One Up
23. Lil Baby - Real Spill
22. Luude featuring Colin Hay - Down Under
21. Drake and 21 Savage - Major Distribution

LF System's one is a pretty dull dance track. Aside from that, it's dull rap track after dull rap track. The one other exception is that dance version of "Down Under", which would have Men At Work turning in their graves if they were dead!

[matthew_dixon]

20. D-Block Europe - Black Beatles
I'm sorry, I just don't get the appeal at all in D-Block Europe. This isn't the last we're going to see of this in this chart. Incredibly dull rap music, and like so much current rap music, I read the lyrics and don't understand them - they're written in a slang I've just never come across!

19. Jack Harlow featuring Drake - Churchill Downs
Another act that I've not seen the fuss in is Jack Harlow. Another decidedly dull track here. Also, it features Drake. This isn't the highest entry for either of these guys.

18. Jack Harlow - Dua Lipa
Dua Lipa has only had two entries on my chart this year, and both are more in the "worst" than "best" category. However neither are remotely close to my top 40 worst. This Jack Harlow song about her however has made it into my top 20. It's still not my highest entry for Jack Harlow here.

17. Drake featuring 21 Savage - Jimmy Cooks
Oh what a surprise, it's more Drake. Again, it's not his highest. Again, it's an incredibly dull rap track. He had three tracks on my chart with 21 Savage - when they all entered alongside the album - is the other one still to come, and if so, how high is it?

16. D-Block Europe - 4 The Win

And to end this batch... it's more D-Block Europe! Don't worry, this isn't the last we've seen of D-Block Europe - not even close! How on earth did they get so many chart hits this year?

[matthew_dixon]

15. Tion Wayne featuring Aitch - Let's Go
This song is another dull rap song, and one that is rather typical of songs where I just don't really get what they're going on about. What does it mean for example to "stig this whip"?

14. Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminal - BOTA (Baddest Of Them All)
Arguably, based on song title, this song is 13 places too low. After all it is the "Baddest Of Them All". It's not really the absolute "baddest of them all" but it is a rather incredibly dull dance track.

13. Central Cee - Daily Duppy
Time to eliminate one of the big stars of this worst chart. There's four entries in my worst 40 for Central Cee, but this is the highest of them all. Yet more really dull unremarkable rap music.

12. Lil Baby - California Breeze
Let's have a break from the UK rappers and head over to a US rapper - Lil Baby. He only features twice in my worst 40, and therefore, this is the highest entry for him.

11. Digga D featuring Stillbrickin' - Pump 101
Another dull piece of British rap music at 11. Apparently Digga D has had a few spells in prison, but none of them were for crimes against music. Really don't get this sort of music, but somehow this was a top 10 hit.

[matthew_dixon]

10. Jack Harlow - First Class
People who've known me long enough might know I hated "Glamorous" by Fergie. Anyway - in 10th place, it's a song that samples it - and is similarly awful. It's the highest entry for Jack Harlow.

9. D-Block Europe - Conor McGregor
In 9th place, some more D-Block Europe - and another incredibly dull track. I don't know what Conor himself makes of this awful song. It's one of those songs where a rapper has used autotune to try and "sing". Really doesn't do anything for me.

8. K***s - Prince Andrew Is A Sweaty Nonce
This year saw a period of national mourning following the death of HM Queen Elizabeth II. Mercifully, during this time, offensive rock band the K***s didn't actually release anything - a reissue of "F***sticks (Queen Mother's C***)" would have been highly insensitive even for them. However, a few months earlier when we were celebrating the Queen's Platinum Jubilee, they released this ode about her son, Prince Andrew, and the allegations of him having sex with someone who had been trafficked over here and hadn't consented. On a technicality of course, as the alleged offence happened in the UK, and she was over the age of consent, it wouldn't make him "a sweaty nonce".

7. Gunna and Future featuring Young Thug - Pushin P
In 7th place, it's a song that I believe is about having sex, though I can't say I've heard of it being called "Pushin P" before. It's another incredibly dull rap track that I just don't get at all.

6. D-Block Europe - Man In The Mirror

So in 6th place, it's the highest entry for D-Block Europe. It's very typical of D-Block Europe - I can't work out what the appeal is, I don't go for autotune rappers "singing" with a rather robotic voice and next to no tune. Also, reading the lyrics, there's a load of it I just don't understand what on earth they're going on about. So, if there's no D-Block Europe in my worst five - what is left?

[matthew_dixon]

5. Venbee and Goddard - Messy In Heaven

I heard Jesus did cocaine on a night out
Eyes wide open, dilated, but he's fine now
And if his father ever finds out
Then he'd probably knock his lights out
Gets a little messy in heaven

It takes something for me to actually be offended in matters of faith - but this song has done it. Suggesting Jesus doing cocaine is bad enough, but the idea that the God that I believe in would "knock Jesus's lights out" because he had done cocaine goes totally against the sort of God I believe in - one that is all forgiving for those who repent of their sins. So yeah - No. 5 on my worst chart of the year. Somehow or other also currently No. 5 in the charts! Awful!

4. Drake and 21 Savage - Rich Flex

Yellow diamonds in the watch, this sh- cost a lot
Never send a b- your dot, that's how you get shot
I DM in Vanish Mode, I do that sh- a lot
Took her panties off and this b- thicker than a plot
All my exes ain't nothin', them h- busted
If my opps ain't rappin', they ass duckin'
You ain't ready to pull the trigger, don't clutch it
I know you on your period, baby, can you suck it?

I don't get what has made Drake such a big star. This song is a prime example of how dreadful Drake is. Endless profanity, trying to push sex onto a woman who clearly isn't interested, a vague attempt at "singing" something with next to no tune. All in all, awful.

[matthew_dixon]

3. Lil Yachty - Poland

I took the Wock' to Poland
I took the Wock' to Poland
I took the Wock' to Poland

Did you hear about the time I was out travelling in Eastern Europe and I was desperate to still be able to cook stir fry? Yes, I took the wok to Poland. Seriously, what on earth IS this track? Under 1m30 long, none of it makes any sense at all, and it's all about taking "the Wock", whatever that is, to Poland. The autocorrect on my computer made me realise what it is, it was Jonathan Ross talking about when he went on holiday in Poland with Dwayne Johnson!

2. Drake - Falling Back

Finding myself, showing myself
Finding a way to stay outta the way
Holding me back, supposed to come right back
Guardin' myself while I'm all on display
I know you know all about it
I know, deep down, you feel the same
I know you know how I feel

In second place, it's our highest entry for Drake, the incredibly dull "Falling Back". In the end, it just says "Falling Back On Me" over and over again. Hardly the most creative of songs!

[matthew_dixon]

So - the chart is actually 1st December to 1st December. That means this year's Christmas offering... "F*** The Tories"... doesn't qualify. Last year's however...

1. K***s - Boris Johnson Is Still A F***ing C***
Boris Johnson's still a f***in' c***
Boris Johnson's still a f***in' c***
Boris Johnson's still a f***in' c***
He's still a c*** (Still a c***)
A f***in' c*** (A f***ing c***)

I'm well aware that some of the songs I've posted videos of in here have swear words in them. However, I think this one is sufficiently sweaty that I ought not to post a video! You'll see from some of the songs on my best chart what I think of Boris Johnson, his behaviour and his policies. I never had time for the man as Prime Minister. However, there's far more eloquent ways to raise such issues than this. I remember a year earlier when the original song came out ("Boris Johnson is a F***ing C***) that a friend of mine pointed out he's neither warm enough nor soft enough to be a one of those! So yeah, here you go, the worst song of the past 12 months really has to be this ode to our last but one Prime Minister.

[JSparksFan]

So much hip/hop in the worst section! I think some of the Drake ones are fine enough and "First Class" is okay, though Jack's album had far graver offences. "N95" actually seems to be one of the most-beloved tracks of the year.

[matthew_dixon]

So much hip/hop in the worst section! I think some of the Drake ones are fine enough and "First Class" is okay, though Jack's album had far graver offences. "N95" actually seems to be one of the most-beloved tracks of the year.

Indeed, I've never been as big a hip hop fan as I have other genres, and the way it's gone more recently I do find dreadful. There will definitely be some hip hop in my new all time BEST chart - don't worry.

[setg1]

I liked "Boris Johnson Is Still a F***ing C***" (enough to chart it very briefly). My favorite version was the "All Sausage No Boris" one for the sheer surrealism of an anti-Boris song that doesn't even mention him (or anything besides sausage rolls).

The Robin Schulz version of "Miss You" is one that I like to see here, just because I really hate what he and his label did to Southstar (huge injustice that Schulz's version is the one getting more streams). I love Southstar's version, though.

The Drake songs are very unremarkable, it's been a few years since he released anything I've liked.

[Marius]

I share your dislike of D-Block Europe and Harlow (from the handful of songs i heard from them / him). Of the about 12 songs i heard in your worst chart the only one i don't really mind is Afraid to Feel, which i don't think was that bad
Btw, do you consider older songs that have charted this year for the best chart? If i were to do a 2022 best chart based only on what charted, Kate Bush and Metallica (Master of Puppets) would likely be my top 2

[matthew_dixon]

I share your dislike of D-Block Europe and Harlow (from the handful of songs i heard from them / him). Of the about 12 songs i heard in your worst chart the only one i don't really mind is Afraid to Feel, which i don't think was that bad
Btw, do you consider older songs that have charted this year for the best chart? If i were to do a 2022 best chart based only on what charted, Kate Bush and Metallica (Master of Puppets) would likely be my top 2

There's no older songs in my best chart itself. "Master of Puppets" just missed out. Basically, if I've charted them in an earlier year I won't recharge them. "Master of Puppets" I somehow missed until the 2022 chart entry.

[matthew_dixon]

Okay - let's start the best chart - and it's a top 60 this year.

60. Divine Comedy - When When When
We start with an entry from the Divine Comedy greatest hits. There was a third CD alongside it with a number of unreleased tracks, and most of them make my top 60 somewhere - albeit this one is a bit low.

59. Harry Styles - Matilda
Okay - who saw Harry Styles coming? There's bound to be some surprises for people lower down, but this is a lovely little song.

58. Dylan Conrique - Birthday Cake
Talking of some lovely little songs, here's someone I'd never heard of before, but a great song. Really beautiful simple song.

57. James Blunt - OK
At the end of December, I was still charting the odds and ends from the James Blunt greatest hits that didn't make it onto his albums or as singles, and this was one of them - a song he did with dance DJ Robin Schulz. Far from his best, but I hate to say it, I love the music of James Blunt!

56. Marsh Family - You're Dutiful
My wife is brilliant. she hoovers floors.
We're kinda lazy - she tidies more.
We tried not to be a cliche
She expects a helping hand
But I'm no use at cleaning up
'Cause I am a man
This should come as no surprise. Anyone following my new weekly chart will know the Marsh family have been doing rather well, and I've just said above that I love James Blunt. Therefore, what could be better than a James Blunt parody by the Marsh Family? This one is all about gender stereotypes, and Ben and the boys not actually doing any of the housework, because Danielle (Mrs Marsh) is so good at doing all the cleaning! I'm sure it's tongue in cheek and they don't really believe a woman's place is in the home! It's one they wrote after a bit of a stressful time of their account being hacked - the song about the hack itself ("Back For Good") just misses out at 61.

[Thriller]

I’m happy to agree with you on the awful rap stuff but Boris Johnson really is what they say he is.

B.O.T.A. is a banger!

I guessed the Marsh Family for your #1, I know how much you stan them - Sue Gray enquiry ftw!

[matthew_dixon]

Mike - I don't disagree with you on how bad Boris is - I just prefer songs that say it a bit more eloquently than the K***s do.

55. Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbot - The Good Times
I always struggle to come up with things for a Christmas list. Therefore, I've actually not bought the latest Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbot album yet - to leave it for others to buy if they want. I have however listened to the songs one by one by going through them on YouTube. Therefore, maybe they're not as accurately placed as they could be. In general, they're good, but it's not as good an album as their earlier work was, either in previous bands, Paul solo, or the earlier duo albums.

54. Lauren Spencer-Smith - Fingers Crossed
So I, I want all the tears back that I cried
All the hours spent giving advice
On how to write your songs
All you did was prove me wrong
When you said you loved me
Well, you must've had your fingers crossed
So in 54th place, it's the massive debut single from Canadian singer Lauren Spencer-Smith. It's a beautiful song, proving there is still some good music getting released.

53. Blink 182 - Edging
Time for a shock comeback next - that of pop punk band Blink 182. Amazingly their last UK top 40 hit was 2005's "Not Now", with all three of their 10s albums failing to register a top 40 hit single over here. It's cool, but let's face it, it's hardly up there with the classics like "What's My Age Again" and "All The Small Things".

52. Tom Grennan - Remind Me

This next one is maybe a bit too low - it really deserved to be higher up my chart. This song from the late Spring actually did surprisingly badly in the chart, given I heard it loads on the radio at the time. It's a great singalong track.

51. Aitch and Ed Sheeran - My G
Manchester rapper Aitch makes my best chart - thanks largely to working with Ed Sheeran. It's a great song, from an act I'm not necessarily that fussed on largely. Even so, whilst Aitch isn't normally my thing, he's far better than some of his contemporaries.

[Thriller]

Edging is a great comeback and Remind Me is one of Tom’s best.

[Tansike]

I guess I can be relieved how I barely know something from the worst songs list Though I enjoyed In Corpore Sano, Pink Venom and First Class. But I can see why some people would dislike them.

59. Harry Styles - Matilda
57. James Blunt - OK
54. Lauren Spencer-Smith - Fingers Crossed

Enjoying these from the year end chart so far. Lauren actually released a few nice tunes this year.

[matthew_dixon]

50. Lizzo - 2 Be Loved (Am I Ready)
Without a doubt one of the sounds of 2022 would be Lizzo - a great singer with a fantastic voice and some really good fun songs. Her first entry on my list is this one, the second single from her 2022 album. Question is, just how high will its predecessor get?

49. Liam Gallagher - Everything's Electric
Next up - it's Oasis star Liam Gallagher. I'm a huge Oasis fan - and this song is great, but really nowhere near up there with the Oasis classics.

48. Sam Fender - Getting Started

One of my father-in-law's best friends from school days is a guy called Derek. It was at some point last year that he mentioned that Derek's nephew was a guy called Sam Fender. As such, I've always had a particular interest in Sam's career. He has some great songs, particularly "Seventeen Going Under", but this is the highest entry he has on my chart for this year.

47. Eduardo Maldonado Castellano De La Cruz - Te Amo Espana
Te amo, te amo España
I don't always quite understand ya
But I do the best that I can, yeah
Te amo, te amo España
One day when the lock-down is over
We'll get on the ferry at Dover
We'll drive down to Spain to say hola again
Oh te amo, te amo, te amo, te amo España

It was only in 2022 I came across the "Isolation Song Contest" - a parody of the Eurovision in 2020 when there could be no Eurovision. Representing Spain in the contest was this guy - Eduardo Maldonado Castellano De La Cruz... otherwise known as Neil Hannon aka the Divine Comedy! Okay, it's really very silly, but it deserves a place somewhere in my countdown! This is another of those random songs on the bonus disc of the greatest hits!

46. Marsh Family - Gee, Sir Graham Brady
So in 46th place, it's the next Marsh Family entry - from the days when there was a revolving door to 10 Downing Street. It's a parody of a great song from West Side Story, and whilst it's great, it isn't quite up there with their other political songs of the year. For those who don't know, Sir Graham Brady is the leader of the backbench members of the Conservative party, and is responsible for organising the leadership contests.