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  • ollie44
    replied
    If I were Eastenders' (executive) producer for a day....*dreams*


    Memo :

    From: Ollie Goulding
    To: Cast of Eastenders

    The following cast members are to be removed with immediate effect:

    The Ferreira family
    Ricky Butcher
    Derek Harkinson
    Pauline Fowler
    Shirley Benson

    The following storylines have been arranged to go into preoduction in the new year:

    The pregnancy of Kat Slater
    A homosexual relationship between Terence and Wellard (the dogs)
    Sharon Watts' botched collagen implants
    The return of Grant Mitchell, with the ghost of his dead wife, Tiffany.
    The voodoo resurrection of Jamie Mitchell
    The first ever naked scene in Eastenders with Dennis Rickman and the resurrected Jamie Mitchell.

    The following cast members will receive 50% pay rises:

    Jessie Wallace (Kat Slater)
    Shane Richie (Alfie Moon)
    Charlie Brooks (Janine Butcher nee Evans)
    Michelle Ryan (Zoe Slater)
    Natalie Cassidy (Sonia Jackson)
    June Brown (Dot Cotton)
    Hilda Braid (Nana Moon)
    Kacey Ainsworth (Little Maureen Slater)


    This new year will also see guest appearances from Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, avid fans of the show. They will play Tracey and Bob Davies, a middle-aged couple with severe debt problems. Recurring parts in at least 20 episodes.

    Here is a sample of the script they are to receive:

    Bob: Oh Gordon Bennett Trace, there's anuvver bill 'ere. What the bleedin' hell are we gonna do nah?

    Tracey: Well luv, you never ruled out the possibilitee of me workin' the street. I could earn good money and the job satisfaction ain't bad.

    Bob: I ain't havin' any old Tom or Dick playin' wiv my missus. They can shove off uop the street to that old whore Pat Evans.


    That will be all for the day cast, expect further changes in the near future.

    Yours sincerely, Ollie x

    *wakes up*

    Now that is happiness!

    Leave a comment:


  • Skelofect
    replied
    Yeah I usually have a drink with mine. I guess they're on when most people have dinner.

    Leave a comment:


  • danlucky16
    replied
    Eurgh I know, and I always seem to be eating when that happens .. (is it just me or do you always get an urge to eat something when watching soaps? ... I always have cereal or toast!)

    Leave a comment:


  • SholasBoy
    replied
    ^^ and is it just me or does every episode at the minute begin with her rubbing that Ferererereras fat hairy body in bed?

    Leave a comment:


  • Dazzle
    replied
    Meh. Eastenders now just has the few good main characters and then a whole bunch of extras (Ricky, Pat , etc... )

    Its all about Den, Phil and meh

    And who cares about Shirley? :x
    Can't she just **** off, back to whatever reject radio soap she came from?

    Leave a comment:


  • Skelofect
    replied
    Ok Martine isn't in EE anymore so can we keep talking bout her in LA thread!!!

    Anyway - the Ash/Shirley storyline is so annoying me - I hope Dan (not lucky) has a heart attack when he finds out.

    They need more risky storylines like Ricky could give Gary a pearl necklace in the Arches or Sonia could sleep with Ian!

    Leave a comment:


  • ollie44
    replied
    Eastenders are planning another special to show what happened between Pat and Big Mo later on next year. As well as that they are gonna give you lucky devils a one-off special with the delumptious Dennis (aka Nigel Harman) to show how he ended up in prison.

    IMO, Bend It Like Beckham did make a fair bit of profit, did very well in the US seeing as it was a soccer film full of un-knowns and made stars of it's lead actresses (Keira Knightly went onto Pirates and Love Actually and Parminder Nagra now has a major role in ER).

    Martine rox.....she was sooo funny in Love Actually - I can't wait to se what she does next

    Leave a comment:


  • Skelofect
    replied
    Martine gets on my tits.

    I hope Janine does really well shes a flipping brilliant actress!!!

    Oh Big Mo and Pat - they rock.

    Leave a comment:


  • SholasBoy
    replied
    Awww but Janine rocks :(

    And so does Big Mo, though she's not in it much is she? :(

    Leave a comment:


  • danlucky16
    replied
    .. I doubt Martine is gonna have huge success in Hollywood, British movies never do that well in America anyway, even bend it Like Beckham didn't do incredibly well like was made out ...

    Leave a comment:


  • ollie44
    replied
    Yes it is true, Janine (aka Charlie Brooks) is leaving to go on to 'bigger and better things'. To my knowledge the only person who's really made it big after leaving Eastenders is the delumptious Martine Mccutcheon. Ross Kemp has had moderate success but he isn't in a mulit-million pound movie getting rave reviews is he?

    Leave a comment:


  • king_oxymoron
    replied
    LIKE:
    Kat - Isn't she great
    Janine - Well played
    Little Mo - Was my favourite for a long while, so sweet!
    Dot - Legend, like Phil said! My fave before Little Mo!
    Alfie - He rocks!
    Nana Moon - Nana for Queen!
    Patrick and Yolande - Yeah mon!
    Vicky - Love her!
    Shirley

    NEUTRAL:
    Lisa - Got worse since the return!
    Billy - Hasn't been so great recently!
    Big Mo - Just neutral
    Martin - Used to be cool
    The Fereiras
    Asif
    Charlie
    Lynne

    DISLIKE:
    Sharon - Really quite annoys me!
    Spencer - Not a good actor, although sometimes OK! Pauline and Derek - Boring!

    Leave a comment:


  • Dazzle
    replied
    Easties is getting pretty good again. I usually watch it while on the compyter so dont pay attention, but the hour long episode caught my attention! Me liked!

    Leave a comment:


  • philruck
    replied
    Nooo, Janine can't leave - she's the best :(

    But woo! for last nights episode - it was great. I thought Kate was pretty good, I never thought she was a very good actress before.

    Leave a comment:


  • Skelofect
    replied
    Originally posted by SholasBoy

    Also Yolande has such a gay mans pout too!
    That's why I love her!

    EDIT

    Ok - see tonights Eastenders - thats why I like the show so bloody much! I mean Kate and Phil annoy me to hell but it was real good "drama" and you don't get that in Emmerdale. It always gets me involved with the characters and I was glad when Lisa took off with Louise.

    Also I heard Janines leaving.

    Leave a comment:


  • SholasBoy
    replied
    Originally posted by Skelofect
    especially her scenes with Dot were she calls her Yoland.
    LMAO!!!

    Also Yolande has such a gay mans pout too!

    Leave a comment:


  • danlucky16
    replied
    Oh yeah Yoland-ee is the best, I really love her character!! .. Shirley and the ferrera's are so pointless .. maybe Alfie and Kat can have a voodoo wedding and sacrifice them for some new, more interesting characters!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Skelofect
    replied
    I'm really dissapointed that the whole Shirley Favin thing was just there to get Shirley and that guy together...

    Anyway LOL @ Shane any excuse for a revival of Sharon gets my vote.

    LOL Sonia as the Penguin hehehehe

    Also I really like Yolande, especially her scenes with Dot were she calls her Yoland.

    Leave a comment:


  • SholasBoy
    replied
    ^^^ Oh yea, Shirley can just go to hell in a bread bin!! That story with Gavin went on for too long and nothing even came of it in the end, she could have at least killed him or got raped or something

    Leave a comment:


  • philruck
    replied
    Ooh yay, a new Eastenders thread

    Following the trend, my fave characters:
    Kat - great character, and very well played
    Janine - Gotta love the bitch, the recent scenes with Barry have been pretty funny
    Lisa - Thought it was great when she made her big return, great actress as well
    Little Mo and Billy - great couple, and Kacey Ainsworth is a fantastic actress
    Dot - Legend
    Alife and Nana Moon - both played very well, and can be funny at times
    Patrick and Yolande - I don't really care about their storylines, I just love their accents
    Sharon - Cool character, but her eyebrow movements can be quite alarming
    Big Mo - Just for mentioning her 'Farmer Giles' cream last week

    Characters I dislike:
    Spencer - Such an awful actor, and the character is pathetic
    Vicky - The voice is just
    Pauline - I cannot stand this bint :evil:
    Martin - Evil, but as the character is supposed to be hated I suppose he's a pretty good actor

    and all the pointless characters - The Fereiras, Asif , Charlie, Lynne, Shirley

    Leave a comment:


  • danlucky16
    replied
    I so agree Shane, what is up with kids in soaps, they can never act and they just totally ruin scenes!! ... I hate that girl 'Summer' in neighbours ... *spits

    Leave a comment:


  • martinp
    replied
    Aww I love Nana Moon!

    And Yolande and Patrick! Ya man!

    Leave a comment:


  • SholasBoy
    replied
    Originally posted by Skelofect
    Piggy
    LOL Now you know you're gonna get me giggling all night again

    Time for the infamous pic again I reckon..



    "Piggy Piggy on the wall...who's the fairest of us all?"

    Anyway, I don't think Spencer is that cute anyway, when you see him close up you can see he has a severe acne problem.

    I'm quite confused in Eastenders at the moment why it's taken us so long to get back to the old Gary/Lynne/Laura story line, when's Beale gonna find out that he's firing live ones?

    Characters I like:
    Janine - I prefered her back in the day, but she does still make me laugh, especially with the faces she pulls while getting slobbered on by the big woolly mamoth

    Patrick - Heh

    Dot - Gotta love her

    Pat - For her flirting with Den 'You always were fit Den'

    Kat & Alfie - Obviously

    Nana Moon - et toi

    Sonya - Never used to like her, she looks a bit like the Penguin in Batman, but I like her now, though the Jamie grave scenes are always a bit cringe worthy.

    Little Mo - She's fab!! I love her enthusiasm!!

    Belinda - heh

    Characters I Don't like:

    All of the Ferrerra's - pointless!!

    Barry - Yay, die!!!

    Ricky - Ummm.. the point?

    Lynne - see above

    Martin
    Derick
    Dennis
    Kate
    Natalie
    Beales Kids (in fact kids in most soaps)

    Oh and whoever mentioned Adam Rickett <3

    Leave a comment:


  • Skelofect
    replied
    Originally posted by danlucky16
    I was joking ya know!! ... put how many times did spencer say 'oh alfie' and then break down in tears! twas just boring!


    Dan - you rock as always.

    Ok characters I like - Nana, Kat, Alfie, Jim, Dennis, Piggy, Dot, Spencer and Janine...oh yeah and Lynne (currently shagging "my" Gary)

    I could slap Kate, honestly her voice gets on me nerves "Sophist-i-Kate"? Piss off!

    Leave a comment:


  • Dazzle
    replied
    Originally posted by thelazyboy
    Originally posted by ollie44
    Chris Parker (Spencer Moon - I think I got his real name right)
    No, his real name is Darren something...
    Don't go there

    Leave a comment:


  • John
    replied
    Originally posted by ollie44
    Chris Parker (Spencer Moon - I think I got his real name right)
    No, his real name is Darren something...

    Leave a comment:


  • ollie44
    replied
    Yeah but come on, at least with Nick (aka the gorge Adam Rickett) you have a bit of a hottie on your hands. Chris Parker (Spencer Moon - I think I got his real name right) isn't that great looking. Seriously, I would sooo take his part in 'Enders and have my scenes with Shane Richie and Jesse Wallace. At least I can act semi-decently.

    Leave a comment:


  • Boogie_2nite
    replied
    I agree with you 100%.

    It's the same with Nick from Corrie. A pretty face but is painful to watch him act

    Leave a comment:


  • ollie44
    replied
    ^^^ I agree. I think they cast through workshoppiong and it all depends upon whether you've got a good agent, an equity card (although I think an agent pretty much comes with this) and respectable drama training.

    Failing that they just look at your photo and decide whether you're heartthrob material or not.

    That's what baffles me so much about this guy

    Leave a comment:


  • Boogie_2nite
    replied
    He's not a very good actor either. :-?

    Leave a comment:

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