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  • Several celebrities are in long-term relationships, including Elton John, Neil Patrick Harris or Linda Perry, all of them having kids. So yeah, it may work, though there is a high amount of gay men living in non-traditional sexual lifestyles.
    Don't need hindsight
    I'll make my emotions clear
    And then disappear
    With one strike
    (All Saints)

    Comment


    • You definitely see lots of examples of where it works.

      I often think about the things I love in a relationship and the things I loathe and most of the time, the latter list is much larger but for the last few months, I just can't shake my feeling of loneliness. Sad, really!

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Wayne View Post
        You definitely see lots of examples of where it works.

        I often think about the things I love in a relationship and the things I loathe and most of the time, the latter list is much larger but for the last few months, I just can't shake my feeling of loneliness. Sad, really!
        What don't you like and are afraid of?
        My Instagram... - Click here

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        • I also have been together for over 2 years now. Had a 5 year relationship in the past, although I regret that one a bit... Western societies definitely made it harder to be in a long-term commitment I would say, not only in this community but in all (relationships and having a family is just more institutionalized in heterosexual relationships, but also that is crumbling down), but it is definitely possible. You need to be prepared to work for it, to give a part of your individuality and open yourself up emotionally, as it is unavoidable if you want to form an unity and I feel most people around me struggle with just that these days. The possible choices are endless ('The grass is always greener on the other side') and loads of people cannot be satisfied, as they want a, b, c and d. Completely understandable, but as long the amount of wine is higher than the water I really feel no strain. I still struggle to open up in a lot of departments and I overprotect myself, but I'm with someone who truly loves me, looks up to me and has so much patience. And I feel the same way about him. There are advantages to being single as opposed to being in a relationship and vice versa, but the moments where two persons perfectly blend together and find peace is just priceless.
          Last edited by Michiel; Tue May 5th, 2020, 15:19.
          Eudaimonia
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          • Originally posted by Wayne View Post
            Any gays here in serious committed relationships?
            Been legally partnered for 4 years now and things are good

            don't lost hope babe
            Follow Me On Instagram

            The FIRST user to have a thread beat Mariah on the Ukmix Hot 100

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            • WOW, that's a long time considering you're still young ^^ . Is offspring coming anytime soon, MusicRecords?
              Don't need hindsight
              I'll make my emotions clear
              And then disappear
              With one strike
              (All Saints)

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Michiel View Post
                There are advantages to being single as opposed to being in a relationship and vice versa, but the moments where two persons perfectly blend together and find peace is just priceless.
                I stan this part.
                I have received many gifts from God,
                but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess
                .

                Don McLean on Madonna's version of American Pie

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                • Originally posted by Wayne View Post
                  You definitely see lots of examples of where it works.

                  I often think about the things I love in a relationship and the things I loathe and most of the time, the latter list is much larger but for the last few months, I just can't shake my feeling of loneliness. Sad, really!
                  I had a weird moment like this that started for the first time in my life around May 2018 so since August last year, I've been trying to actively search for a partner and it's actually really...awful. I feel like people make dating/courtship way harder than it needs to be. I've jokingly stated a few times that I'm ready to resign from the LGBTQ+ community because it's way more toxic than I initially realised, but those pangs of loneliness have faded away recently, so I think I should be good for a while. It was bizarre when they hit, though I remember reading in a psychology textbook from college that we usually reach that stage where we seek out a partnership at some point in our lives.
                  Akini's Top 400 Songs of the Decade: [2-1!]

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                  • I am in a long term relationship, soon to be 3 years now.
                    We have been through to a lot stuff. From big distance to move from our cities to live together in the capital city to the working together in the other country (The Netherland) to the quitting the job in The Netherland to move back to our cities to the now were we live together in his city. All that would not be possible without our committed and love.
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                    • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                      WOW, that's a long time considering you're still young ^^ . Is offspring coming anytime soon, MusicRecords?
                      yeah I was 21 when I did that haha
                      No children for us I think, who knows maybe in the future but right now with a dog it's enough, plus traveling quite a bit would make it difficult, I'd hate to be a parent who always leaves the child with a nanny and isn't really present in their lives
                      Follow Me On Instagram

                      The FIRST user to have a thread beat Mariah on the Ukmix Hot 100

                      #KING

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                      • So you're 25 if my arithmetic skills don't fail me, aren't you? I get that it's not a major goal to have a child at the moment. Most people in Western countries wait until they're 30 to go for that project. Me personally, I want to finish my studies soon and if I'm through with that, yeah, I guess I'd be ready for kids actually. In fact, I feel like these days, the biggest challenge in finding a partner is finding one who actually wants to have kids as well. If stevyy wasn't living on the other side of Germany, haha ^^ .
                        Don't need hindsight
                        I'll make my emotions clear
                        And then disappear
                        With one strike
                        (All Saints)

                        Comment


                        • Yeah I’m 25 ;)

                          stevyy is so extra he’d make a Beyoncé style baby photoshoot or something
                          Follow Me On Instagram

                          The FIRST user to have a thread beat Mariah on the Ukmix Hot 100

                          #KING

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                          • He's dramatic, yeah ^^ . But he's got a safe income, he's German, blonde and wants kids, so he's probably the closest among all the users to what I'm looking for ;) .
                            Don't need hindsight
                            I'll make my emotions clear
                            And then disappear
                            With one strike
                            (All Saints)

                            Comment


                            • I'm dead at "safe income"

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                              • Look a bit further sis.


                                Eudaimonia
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                                • Jealous of you all in stable, long term relationships!

                                  Didn't realise we had so many gay people leading the way in long term relationships here.

                                  Comment


                                  • Originally posted by Michiel View Post
                                    I also have been together for over 2 years now. Had a 5 year relationship in the past, although I regret that one a bit... Western societies definitely made it harder to be in a long-term commitment I would say, not only in this community but in all (relationships and having a family is just more institutionalized in heterosexual relationships, but also that is crumbling down), but it is definitely possible. You need to be prepared to work for it, to give a part of your individuality and open yourself up emotionally, as it is unavoidable if you want to form an unity and I feel most people around me struggle with just that these days. The possible choices are endless ('The grass is always greener on the other side') and loads of people cannot be satisfied, as they want a, b, c and d. Completely understandable, but as long the amount of wine is higher than the water I really feel no strain. I still struggle to open up in a lot of departments and I overprotect myself, but I'm with someone who truly loves me, looks up to me and has so much patience. And I feel the same way about him. There are advantages to being single as opposed to being in a relationship and vice versa, but the moments where two persons perfectly blend together and find peace is just priceless.
                                    Why do you regret your first relationship?

                                    It's true that relationships are hard in Western society. I see so many get a divorce. Also a lot starting a second family. There are a lot of kids at our school, who have half sisters/brothers, step sisters/brothers... A girl in my class has a real brother, but also a half brother (when she is at her mothers), but her father also has a new partner who wants children. Now her mother and her second husband are getting a divorce... It's hard for children these days.
                                    I'm with you Michiel on this one: people cannot be satisfied. Me and my husband have gone through a lot. He's had a burn out. He's had cancer. He's got depressions now and again. It runs in his family. His father and uncle comitted suicide, so there have been times when I was afraid for his life. There have been times when my husband wanted to have children, and I didn't. I am lucky I am God father to one of my sisters children. And we love the kids of my brother and my sister. (My in laws live in the UK, so we don't see them often.) We've had our troubles and there have been times when I thought it wasn't worth it. I'm glad we never gave up on each other.
                                    When I look at my life now, having a partner who still loves me after such a long time and who still makes my heart beat faster, is such a blessing. But you have to make sacrifices and sometimes put yourself on second place. It's give and take. Nobody's perfect.
                                    My Instagram... - Click here

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                                    • theMathematician
                                      theMathematician commented
                                      Editing a comment
                                      What a sweet comment! You're really a rolemodel, Ray!

                                  • This is cute. Good for Raven.

                                    Akini's Top 400 Songs of the Decade: [2-1!]

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                                    • **hits blunt**

                                      Lately I don't know if one guy could satisfy me sexual for the rest of my life.

                                      Like I have guy that I could see myself having kids with, ruling the world with and all that good flowers and bull****

                                      But...my mind and my loins just be all over the place..

                                      Thought it was a phase...but it's been a phase for 6 years. I'm 27 now.

                                      question to the gorls...you think staying sexually committed to one guy is realistic? In a sense of actually wanting to. Not just being "disciplined" mentally to.

                                      May I am truly destined for this ho life forever.
                                      Originally posted by snoh aalegra


                                      - Ugh, those feels again

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                                      • Originally posted by ThaInfo1 View Post
                                        **hits blunt**

                                        Lately I don't know if one guy could satisfy me sexual for the rest of my life.

                                        Like I have guy that I could see myself having kids with, ruling the world with and all that good flowers and bull****

                                        But...my mind and my loins just be all over the place..

                                        Thought it was a phase...but it's been a phase for 6 years. I'm 27 now.

                                        question to the gorls...you think staying sexually committed to one guy is realistic? In a sense of actually wanting to. Not just being "disciplined" mentally to.

                                        May I am truly destined for this ho life forever.
                                        I think it is possible. I am still with my first boyfriend for over 20 years.
                                        My Instagram... - Click here

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                                        • ThaInfo1
                                          ThaInfo1 commented
                                          Editing a comment
                                          Blessings Chile. Icon. teach me your ways lol

                                      • It's interesting that especially guys have the urge to have more than one sexual partner. For sure, there are women like that as well, but they are in the minority. I haven't been in a relationship yet, but I think that if you really love somebody, you don't even feel the need to mess around with someone else as you've already found your No. 1. However, I've noticed something and that is, when I'm on a dating site and lucky to start a conversation with someone, by the time the question 'What are you looking for?' pops up and I answer 'Looking for a monogamous long-term relationship.', the other person just stops answering . I mean, what do I have to do to change that habit ?
                                        Don't need hindsight
                                        I'll make my emotions clear
                                        And then disappear
                                        With one strike
                                        (All Saints)

                                        Comment


                                        • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                          It's interesting that especially guys have the urge to have more than one sexual partner. For sure, there are women like that as well, but they are in the minority. I haven't been in a relationship yet, but I think that if you really love somebody, you don't even feel the need to mess around with someone else as you've already found your No. 1. However, I've noticed something and that is, when I'm on a dating site and lucky to start a conversation with someone, by the time the question 'What are you looking for?' pops up and I answer 'Looking for a monogamous long-term relationship.', the other person just stops answering . I mean, what do I have to do to change that habit ?
                                          Because its weird to tell a stranger that youve never met on an online app that you are looking for a long term relationship. Long term relationships are something that have to be allowed to develop naturally once you have met and if you click.

                                          Change your answer to " meet people and open to what happens". You will find it wont put people off as much.

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                                          • You've got a point, InFamous. The only thing that would put me off about it is that there are guys just looking for a quick hook up or a friendship plus kind of thing. I don't mind people looking for that, but I obviously have got a different aim, so I thought that it would be better to play with open cards right from the start.
                                            Don't need hindsight
                                            I'll make my emotions clear
                                            And then disappear
                                            With one strike
                                            (All Saints)

                                            Comment


                                            • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                              You've got a point, InFamous. The only thing that would put me off about it is that there are guys just looking for a quick hook up or a friendship plus kind of thing. I don't mind people looking for that, but I obviously have got a different aim, so I thought that it would be better to play with open cards right from the start.
                                              I understand that it is ultimately what you want but the idea of discussing relationship plans with someone you have never met is completely bizarre to me. I mean the apps are simply a vehicle to meet someone, then see what develops. I mean imagine if you were in a bar, you wouldn't just go around tapping people on the shoulder - Hey, I'm Diego and I would like to find a long term monagomous relationship. What's your name ?

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                                              • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                                It's interesting that especially guys have the urge to have more than one sexual partner. For sure, there are women like that as well, but they are in the minority. I haven't been in a relationship yet, but I think that if you really love somebody, you don't even feel the need to mess around with someone else as you've already found your No. 1. However, I've noticed something and that is, when I'm on a dating site and lucky to start a conversation with someone, by the time the question 'What are you looking for?' pops up and I answer 'Looking for a monogamous long-term relationship.', the other person just stops answering . I mean, what do I have to do to change that habit ?
                                                First of all, I agree with InFamous that your reply isn't the best choice. You could also go with "I'm actually searching for a relationship, but I'm open to see what happens" or something like that. Already going with a relationship as reply is often the end of a chat on those platforms, but adding "monogamous long-term" to it is even more off-putting.

                                                Second, being in a relationship and still have some fun with others has nothing to do with finding your No. 1 or to mess around with someone else. A relationship isn't about owning someone. But you could talk with so many people and everyone may have a different view on this.

                                                Anyways, ThaInfo1 my partner is the same like you, though he's already 38 years old. He already knows that living in a monogamous relationship for the rest of his life won't be a thing for him, but that doesn't mean he won't try it and that the relationship has to be open from the get-go. Him and I are talking about this topic every now and then and he didn't feel the desire to have something with others so far (we're together for over three years now), though we already had a moment with another guy (just kissing) last month. I couldn't have imagined that before meeting him, but he was open to me from the get-go and I thought well, let's see how this turns out and it worked for both of us so far, him without having the desire to sleep with others and me without worrying about something (because he's honest and open to me, unlike my ex where I was worried about some sh*t all the time).

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                                                • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                                  It's interesting that especially guys have the urge to have more than one sexual partner. For sure, there are women like that as well, but they are in the minority. I haven't been in a relationship yet, but I think that if you really love somebody, you don't even feel the need to mess around with someone else as you've already found your No. 1. However, I've noticed something and that is, when I'm on a dating site and lucky to start a conversation with someone, by the time the question 'What are you looking for?' pops up and I answer 'Looking for a monogamous long-term relationship.', the other person just stops answering . I mean, what do I have to do to change that habit ?
                                                  I was just like you back in the day. There were no apps, but I only wanted someone I'd be sure of to spend the rest of my life with. When I met my-now-husband, he was like: "I've been in three long term relationships and I never want to live with anyone anymore. Too much pain when someone leaves." It was not what I wanted to hear, but I had fallen in love and just hoped he would change his mind. Within a few weeks I moved in with him and nine months later we were married. I wouldn't be where I am today if I had walked away in those early days.
                                                  My Instagram... - Click here

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                                                  • Originally posted by ThaInfo1 View Post
                                                    **hits blunt**

                                                    Lately I don't know if one guy could satisfy me sexual for the rest of my life.

                                                    Like I have guy that I could see myself having kids with, ruling the world with and all that good flowers and bull****

                                                    But...my mind and my loins just be all over the place..

                                                    Thought it was a phase...but it's been a phase for 6 years. I'm 27 now.

                                                    question to the gorls...you think staying sexually committed to one guy is realistic? In a sense of actually wanting to. Not just being "disciplined" mentally to.

                                                    May I am truly destined for this ho life forever.
                                                    Every relationship is unique so I think the question you pose isn't a simple one because it'll be yes for some folks and no for others. I think monogamy is something that a lot of people aspire to just because it's the only reality that many were exposed to, but that doesn't make it the only option, or the best one. I don't believe monogamy is a one-size-fits-all sort of thing at all, so maybe your best bet is to discuss the possibility of an open relationship with your partner and what the parameters would be for it. Trust, communication, and honesty would be key, but then again that's the case even in monogamous partnerships, and if he's already your co-ruler, that's already in place.

                                                    Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                                    It's interesting that especially guys have the urge to have more than one sexual partner. For sure, there are women like that as well, but they are in the minority. I haven't been in a relationship yet, but I think that if you really love somebody, you don't even feel the need to mess around with someone else as you've already found your No. 1. However, I've noticed something and that is, when I'm on a dating site and lucky to start a conversation with someone, by the time the question 'What are you looking for?' pops up and I answer 'Looking for a monogamous long-term relationship.', the other person just stops answering . I mean, what do I have to do to change that habit ?
                                                    I don't even think that's the case; I just think it's more socially acceptable for men to be vocal about their desire for extramarital relationships than it is for women.

                                                    Originally posted by InFamous View Post
                                                    Because its weird to tell a stranger that youve never met on an online app that you are looking for a long term relationship. Long term relationships are something that have to be allowed to develop naturally once you have met and if you click.

                                                    Change your answer to " meet people and open to what happens". You will find it wont put people off as much.
                                                    I think this is good advice. I find a lot of people don't really like anything that remotely resembles a commitment so when you keep answers vague, it gives them that sense of latitude that puts their mind at ease.

                                                    Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                                    You've got a point, InFamous. The only thing that would put me off about it is that there are guys just looking for a quick hook up or a friendship plus kind of thing. I don't mind people looking for that, but I obviously have got a different aim, so I thought that it would be better to play with open cards right from the start.
                                                    I think it's best to have an open mind with relationships. For instance, even if you're looking for a long-term relationship, would you be terribly disappointed if in pursuit of that you found, along the way, a quality friendship with someone who shares the same interests as you? It's like asking Santa Claus for Blackout for your birthday, but getting In the Zone instead. It's not exactly what you want, but it's pretty damn good anyway.

                                                    Originally posted by InFamous View Post
                                                    I understand that it is ultimately what you want but the idea of discussing relationship plans with someone you have never met is completely bizarre to me. I mean the apps are simply a vehicle to meet someone, then see what develops. I mean imagine if you were in a bar, you wouldn't just go around tapping people on the shoulder - Hey, I'm Diego and I would like to find a long term monagomous relationship. What's your name ?
                                                    This made me scream.

                                                    I'm weird because I actually wouldn't mind an approach like that.
                                                    Akini's Top 400 Songs of the Decade: [2-1!]

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                                                    • Thanks guys, I'll respond to the popular question 'What are you searching/looking for?' like that from now on. Hope that I won't get any dick pics or stuff like that ^^ .
                                                      Don't need hindsight
                                                      I'll make my emotions clear
                                                      And then disappear
                                                      With one strike
                                                      (All Saints)

                                                      Comment


                                                      • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                                        Thanks guys, I'll respond to the popular question 'What are you searching/looking for?' like that from now on. Hope that I won't get any dick pics or stuff like that ^^ .
                                                        I find that question really annoys me so instead of saying what I want to say which is generally " I have no ******* idea!" I just say My Keys lol

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                                                      • Originally posted by Tansike View Post

                                                        Anyways, ThaInfo1 my partner is the same like you, though he's already 38 years old. He already knows that living in a monogamous relationship for the rest of his life won't be a thing for him, but that doesn't mean he won't try it and that the relationship has to be open from the get-go. Him and I are talking about this topic every now and then and he didn't feel the desire to have something with others so far (we're together for over three years now), though we already had a moment with another guy (just kissing) last month. I couldn't have imagined that before meeting him, but he was open to me from the get-go and I thought well, let's see how this turns out and it worked for both of us so far, him without having the desire to sleep with others and me without worrying about something (because he's honest and open to me, unlike my ex where I was worried about some sh*t all the time).
                                                        I feel this. I felt like we were working towards this, but my "situation" deep down doesn't want that and was trying to make it work.

                                                        I had my moments of lying, but the last few I've been honest about stepping out and there's always some sort of tension behind it. This Pandemic got the best of us and I couldn't take that anymore (on top of a few other things). And the kicker is, this was his idea smh.



                                                        InFamous You gonna scare all the girls away lmaoo. I agree with Tansike reply.


                                                        JSparksFan Speak this good word sis! needed that.
                                                        Originally posted by snoh aalegra


                                                        - Ugh, those feels again

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