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  • There are many stereotypes about gay people in our society, which is obvious as there are stereotypes about every demographic group. I'm sure many people don't know any gay men in person and only know them through the way they are presented in the media. That's why I think that it's very important that there are people like you who, as you just said, 'paved the way' in your village and basically are like any other men living there, just with the tiny addition that you have a male instead of a female partner.
    Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
    and everything you stand for?
    Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
    just to tell you that I see more?

    Comment


    • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
      There are many stereotypes about gay people in our society, which is obvious as there are stereotypes about every demographic group. I'm sure many people don't know any gay men in person and only know them through the way they are presented in the media. That's why I think that it's very important that there are people like you who, as you just said, 'paved the way' in your village and basically are like any other men living there, just with the tiny addition that you have a male instead of a female partner.
      That's the biggest issue: many people don't know any gay men in person and have their own picture of how "we" are. Even my brother in law told me he didn't know what to think when my sister told him her brother was gay. He told me this years later and how me and my husband completely changed his view for the better.
      My Instagram... - Click here

      Comment


      • Being perceived by others as "normal" or "just like them" is nice and all but I wouldn't put much focus on wanting to get my way of life "approved" or "validated" by others. Seeking validation from others / something external will never give anyone true fulfilment or inner peace. Sure it might give some fickle temporary fulfilment but that will vanish as soon as that external source becomes shaky or isn't as "approving" anymore. Looking within yourself and being happy with who you are is the key.
        BEAUTY IS A MUST, TALENT IS A PLUS
        98 - OUT

        Comment


        • Originally posted by aRat View Post
          Being perceived by others as "normal" or "just like them" is nice and all but I wouldn't put much focus on wanting to get my way of life "approved" or "validated" by others. Seeking validation from others / something external will never give anyone true fulfilment or inner peace. Sure it might give some fickle temporary fulfilment but that will vanish as soon as that external source becomes shaky or isn't as "approving" anymore. Looking within yourself and being happy with who you are is the key.
          Could have been written by Mariah Carey. So true. I never had a close relationship with my father. In retrospect probably because I am gay. He always disapproved of the things I liked, how I spoke, series I watched, artists I listened to, clothes I liked to wear...
          Still, deep down I wanted his approval. Then one day one of his friends came up to me and told me that my father had said he could see I had turned out to be the most happy of his three children. Although not really an approval, I was glad my father could see that although I made all the "wrong" choices in life (in his eyes), it made me happier than my siblings, who lead a "normal" life "just like him".
          My Instagram... - Click here

          Comment


          • It's a bit sad to read, but then again, things are developing. You're a generation older than me, RayRay , and your father is another generation older. It's not an excuse, but when he grew up, homosexuality simply didn't exist in the public eye. We're at a different point now when homosexual people are present in the media, can serve in the military and are allowed to marry and have children. There are other cultures where people make the first baby steps, e.g. in the islam-dominated world.
            Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
            and everything you stand for?
            Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
            just to tell you that I see more?

            Comment


            • Originally posted by RayRay View Post

              Could have been written by Mariah Carey. So true. I never had a close relationship with my father. In retrospect probably because I am gay. He always disapproved of the things I liked, how I spoke, series I watched, artists I listened to, clothes I liked to wear...
              Still, deep down I wanted his approval. Then one day one of his friends came up to me and told me that my father had said he could see I had turned out to be the most happy of his three children. Although not really an approval, I was glad my father could see that although I made all the "wrong" choices in life (in his eyes), it made me happier than my siblings, who lead a "normal" life "just like him".
              LOL that's a bit similar to my relationship with my parents. My parents are helicopter parents (aka too controlling and too overbearing). I still love them ofc but they always tried to control & monitor almost all spheres of my life. Not only that but the overbearing and overprotection was making me way too passive, socially inept, insecure and dependent.

              The final straw was when I started to realise that I was gay and that none of the "goals" and expectations they had set out for me were what I wanted or desired and that I would only end up deteriorating further and being unhappy if I continue living my life the way they wanted so when I turned 17 I made the decision to study in a far away city and be completely independent from them financially so I could live my life the way I wanted to ASAP. I worked 2 part time jobs while studying so I could make that complete indepedence happen. Thinking back that was easily the most important decision I have made in life thus far.

              The funny thing is that now they brag about being such good parents coz I turned out "so self sufficient and successful" when it was because I decided to go AGAINST everything their overprotective and overbearing parenting taught me
              BEAUTY IS A MUST, TALENT IS A PLUS
              98 - OUT

              Comment


              • It gave me a lot of grief, going against the wishes of my parents. But I always thought, even as a small child: "One day, I'll be me. I'll show them! My day will come." Madonna got me through my teenage years and after this it was Mariah as I have a lot of simmilarities like dealing with always being the outsider.
                But when I saw my brother almost going to uni just because my parents wanted him to... Or seeing my sister always trying to please our parents just because to be in their good books, I knew I could never be like that.
                But even my peers didn't get me. We had a reunion and everyone was at uni, some really unhappy, and they couldn't believe I "just" wanted to be a primary school teacher.
                And when I got my first job (acting, singing, dancing, presenting) at CenterParcs (holiday park) my father couldn't believe I "threw away" my teaching certificate to become a "clown" (in his eyes).
                And when I finally got a teaching job I got a lot of raising eyebrows for teaching 4 years old and being happy about it.
                My sister always admired me for setting my own goals, but there were times I didn't know if I could do it as it was so hard to go against all the expectations people had.

                So now you know why Vision Of Love is the most personal song I've ever heard:

                Prayed through the nights
                Felt so alone
                Suffered through alienation
                Carried the weight on my own
                Had to be strong
                So I believed
                And now I know I've succeeded
                In finding the place I conceived
                I had a vision of love
                Last edited by RayRay; Sat September 26, 2020, 19:30.
                My Instagram... - Click here

                Comment


                • aRat We stan an independent bottom.
                  I have received many gifts from God,
                  but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess
                  .

                  Don McLean on Madonna's version of American Pie

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by beredy View Post
                    aRat We stan an independent bottom.
                    Thanx that means a lot cumming from a fellow bottom
                    BEAUTY IS A MUST, TALENT IS A PLUS
                    98 - OUT

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by aRat View Post

                      Thanx that means a lot cumming from a fellow bottom
                      I think I have been clear on the matter ​​​​​​.

                      Just bottoming or topping is

                      I have received many gifts from God,
                      but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess
                      .

                      Don McLean on Madonna's version of American Pie

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by beredy View Post

                        I think I have been clear on the matter ​​​​​​.

                        Just bottoming or topping is
                        I was just teasing sweaty

                        BEAUTY IS A MUST, TALENT IS A PLUS
                        98 - OUT

                        Comment


                        • Something only gay and bi people can relate to:

                          'Do I want to be like or with (@InFamous' version: in ) that person?'
                          Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
                          and everything you stand for?
                          Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
                          just to tell you that I see more?

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                            Something only gay and bi people can relate to:

                            'Do I want to be like or with (@InFamous' version: in ) that person?'
                            Excuse me ?

                            Comment


                            • You're open about being an sexually active person and I was joking about it in a very friendly and lighthearted way ;) . Have you had that aforementioned thought before, by the way? I definitely have.
                              Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
                              and everything you stand for?
                              Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
                              just to tell you that I see more?

                              Comment


                              • I don't get why that's supposed to be a gay / bi thing. Straight people can look up to people of the opposite sex (and find them attractive), too.

                                Comment


                                • I don't think that it's quite the same. I mean, there surely are cases when a man and a woman wonder 'Is it platonic or romantic feelings between us?', even though pure friendships between men and women still seem to be some kind of taboo in our society with some believing that that's not possible (something I do not agree with by the way). However, I've seen some guys who were well-built before, so to say, and then I found myself questioning 'Would I like to be with that guy or look like that guy?". And that's more of a same-sex thing, I guess.
                                  Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
                                  and everything you stand for?
                                  Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
                                  just to tell you that I see more?

                                  Comment


                                  • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                    You're open about being an sexually active person and I was joking about it in a very friendly and lighthearted way ;) . Have you had that aforementioned thought before, by the way? I definitely have.
                                    I can't really make sense of your original thought tbh ? I don't know what you are asking.

                                    Comment


                                    • See my last post in here and it should get clearer.
                                      Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
                                      and everything you stand for?
                                      Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
                                      just to tell you that I see more?

                                      Comment


                                      • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                        See my last post in here and it should get clearer.
                                        Not at all. I'm with Rihab . It's not a gay/ bi issue in the slightest. And I still don't fully know what you mean anyway

                                        Comment


                                        • Well, guess it's not sexuality-related then. Either way: Have you had this feeling towards a guy or a girl before?
                                          Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
                                          and everything you stand for?
                                          Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
                                          just to tell you that I see more?

                                          Comment


                                          • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                            Well, guess it's not sexuality-related then. Either way: Have you had this feeling towards a guy or a girl before?
                                            I STILL dont know what feeling you are talking about.

                                            Comment


                                            • Gosh, it's not that complicated ^^ . Haven't you had that moment before when you met a dude, felt like there are feelings for him, but unsure whether they are platonic, romantic, or neither and you would just be like that person yourself (either the looks or the character)?
                                              Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
                                              and everything you stand for?
                                              Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
                                              just to tell you that I see more?

                                              Comment


                                              • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
                                                Gosh, it's not that complicated ^^ . Haven't you had that moment before when you met a dude, felt like there are feelings for him, but unsure whether they are platonic, romantic, or neither and you would just be like that person yourself (either the looks or the character)?
                                                No.
                                                Last edited by InFamous; Mon September 28, 2020, 01:41.

                                                Comment


                                                • Damn people are so mean to Timmy... He seems like a good hearted guy, although naive.

                                                  ​​​​​​​Nice stories in here, both aRat and RayRay. Happy for you both. Learning to live without seeking the approval of others is only for the strongest.
                                                  I am the maniac, I am the ghoul
                                                  I'm in the shadows in the corners of my room

                                                  Comment


                                                  • Originally posted by DnBLover View Post
                                                    Damn people are so mean to Timmy... He seems like a good hearted guy, although naive.

                                                    ​​​​​​​Nice stories in here, both aRat and RayRay. Happy for you both. Learning to live without seeking the approval of others is only for the strongest.
                                                    You haven't seen some posts then...

                                                    I feel like as a ghey with controlling parents one has no choice but to rebel and reject their expectations of you since the straight normative expectations are just too incompatible with your character. You either reject them and live your live the way you want to or you completely lose yourself trying to please them. I feel like one can't really reach a middle ground since controlling parents will never budge, back down or compromise. At least mine don't.
                                                    BEAUTY IS A MUST, TALENT IS A PLUS
                                                    98 - OUT

                                                    Comment

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