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  • #61
    I know it's not related to homophobia, but what do you guys think about discrimination against HIV-positive people?
    I started thinking about it after a friend's friend discovered he's positive, and I wonder if I would ever have a relationship with an HIV-positive person. I still haven't made up my mind about it tbh.

    Comment


    • #62
      In theory, yeah, it's not THAT spreadable and all, but in real life, I'm just way too cautious to be with HIV pos person. I also feel a bit bad writing this as you can never be safe or sure, it can happen to anyone, but I like to think that if I somehow manage to catch it even tho I never ever have unprotected interscourse, it must be cuz I'm super unlucky.

      I'm not feeling that much sorry for people going around and barebacking all the time, tho and tbh, I'm waiting for that someone, for relationship so that I can finally have unprotected sex, so I guess that's also why I wouldn't be able to date hiv pos. Cruel, but it is so.
      be kind to every kind (also the unkind kind!!!!! )

      Comment


      • #63
        I couldn't!
        My Best of 2014...|Tumblr|Last.fm|Instagram

        Comment


        • #64
          I guess it would need to be the love of my life (even though such a thing doesn't exist) for me to stay with him, but then again knowing how super defensive I am, just knowing it would make me uncomfortable and I doubt I would cope with that. And I feel so bad for saying it.

          Comment


          • #65
            I think I wouldn't be able to date a Hiv+ person as well.

            Personally, I need to understand the circumstances.
            I know people that kind of search for that (there's also a documentary about gay men that search on purpose to get it), I meant people who go to battuage places or dark rooms and have unprotected sex with multiple people all the time...
            We're not on the 80's anymore, everybody knows the risks of having unprotected sex, to me health is more important than the desire of being a slut, there are already a lot of health issues in this world without searching for them.

            Comment


            • #66
              Originally posted by Perzy
              I think I wouldn't be able to date a Hiv+ person as well.

              Personally, I need to understand the circumstances.
              I know people that kind of search for that (there's also a documentary about gay men that search on purpose to get it), I meant people who go to battuage places or dark rooms and have unprotected sex with multiple people all the time...
              We're not on the 80's anymore, everybody knows the risks of having unprotected sex, to me health is more important than the desire of being a slut, there are already a lot of health issues in this world without searching for them.
              Idk, there are many ways to get it and one can always be unlucky (a broken condom, swallowing, etc.), but still those people that want to get it and make their lives even more difficult than they already are clearly have some kind of issue (since you are Italian, maybe you remember the HIV-positive character in "Le Fate Ignoranti"? He's pretty realistic IMO).

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by ArmyOfMe
                Idk, there are many ways to get it and one can always be unlucky (a broken condom, swallowing, etc.), but still those people that want to get it and make their lives even more difficult than they already are clearly have some kind of issue (since you are Italian, maybe you remember the HIV-positive character in "Le Fate Ignoranti"? He's pretty realistic IMO).
                Yes I know the movie, I got what you meant, for sure if it's an unlucky situation like the one that you described, I would perceive it in a different way because it's true that could happen to everybody.
                I'm honest, I think it will be always a problem to me, I woulnd't live the relationship from the sexual point of view in a 'good' way, I would be kind of uncomfortable with that, it's definitely not the best thing to say but it's the truth :-?

                Comment


                • #68
                  who in his right mind would date a HIV positive guy.. when you are not HIV+ yourself? This has nothing to do with being homophobe or anti HIV+ people...(victims).. but it has to do with self-protection..afterall we are still talking about a deadly dicease. I can understand that love can lift u above the aids scare.. but that is a risk i am not willing to take for myself.
                  My Chart

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by stevyy
                    who in his right mind would date a HIV positive guy.. when you are not HIV+ yourself? This has nothing to do with being homophobe or anti HIV+ people...(victims).. but it has to do with self-protection..afterall we are still talking about a deadly dicease. I can understand that love can lift u above the aids scare.. but that is a risk i am not willing to take for myself.

                    You can have safe sex with some who is HIV anyways..

                    You can have sex 100 times and only get the virus 3 times. So 3% chance of getting it anally anyways. it's not THAT easily transmitted.

                    The reason why gays have the stigma for HIV is that it's 1% rate with vaginal
                    Forever Young

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                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Loveguru
                      Originally posted by stevyy
                      who in his right mind would date a HIV positive guy.. when you are not HIV+ yourself? This has nothing to do with being homophobe or anti HIV+ people...(victims).. but it has to do with self-protection..afterall we are still talking about a deadly dicease. I can understand that love can lift u above the aids scare.. but that is a risk i am not willing to take for myself.

                      You can have safe sex with some who is HIV anyways..

                      You can have sex 100 times and only get the virus 3 times. So 3% chance of getting it anally anyways. it's not THAT easily transmitted.

                      The reason why gays have the stigma for HIV is that it's 1% rate with vaginal
                      If it is so hard to pass on then why do 1 in 7 gay men have it? Are they really having that much unprotected sex?

                      This is what scares me.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Originally posted by Tombo
                        Originally posted by Loveguru
                        Originally posted by stevyy
                        who in his right mind would date a HIV positive guy.. when you are not HIV+ yourself? This has nothing to do with being homophobe or anti HIV+ people...(victims).. but it has to do with self-protection..afterall we are still talking about a deadly dicease. I can understand that love can lift u above the aids scare.. but that is a risk i am not willing to take for myself.

                        You can have safe sex with some who is HIV anyways..

                        You can have sex 100 times and only get the virus 3 times. So 3% chance of getting it anally anyways. it's not THAT easily transmitted.

                        The reason why gays have the stigma for HIV is that it's 1% rate with vaginal
                        If it is so hard to pass on then why do 1 in 7 gay men have it? Are they really having that much unprotected sex?

                        This is what scares me.
                        Where did you take those statistics from? I'm just curious cause those estimates are really hard to calculate

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Well, I too have a problem of dating someone who is HIV+.
                          I'll be honest. I'm too obsessed about being healthy and I'm an extremely happy person that gets very depressed when he gets a cold.
                          I'm a total baby when i'm sick.

                          So i've always been vert careful. But I'm not the kind of guy to have random hook ups etc. Like I've always been extremely monogamous (had a relationship from age 13-20, and 3 others since then and when I'm not in relationships I am not sexually active. More of a Friday night with Dominos and Golden Girls re-runs kind of gal I guess I'm truly husband material. That's what all my friends say. I'm the one they'll turn to marry when their 40. I hope to be settled wayyyy before that )

                          Anyway I digress...

                          But honestly there are other diseases you can get.
                          Like I guess i got my payback for being so OCD about sex and many times not getting involved with people that I kinda liked and they liked me because I knew they were popular in town for sleeping with everyone and their friend, so karma came back to me 3 months ago when I got bitten by a deer tick in the Hamptons and now I'm fighting lyme disease.

                          So I think I learned my lesson to not be as judgemental.
                          Some people may have gotten HIV+ in a one time incident.
                          Yes lots of people are careless, but not everyone.
                          HIV+ partners can take medications like PrED that will low their virus load, so it is even safer when you are in a relationship with them. And if the negative partner takes it too, it has even less chances of getting it.
                          But I'd like this to be seen as "another layer of protection".

                          Unfortunately some in the community (in the US) are using it as a form of protection and going bareback with everyone.
                          It doesn't protected you against other STDS...
                          And condom should be always used brcause its the only one that protects to direct body fluid contact.
                          PrED should be seen as the "backup protection you have taken" in case comdon breaks etc.
                          “B**** come here! B**** come here! B**** come here!”

                          “I’m staying right here.”

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Originally posted by Tombo
                            Originally posted by Loveguru
                            Originally posted by stevyy
                            who in his right mind would date a HIV positive guy.. when you are not HIV+ yourself? This has nothing to do with being homophobe or anti HIV+ people...(victims).. but it has to do with self-protection..afterall we are still talking about a deadly dicease. I can understand that love can lift u above the aids scare.. but that is a risk i am not willing to take for myself.

                            You can have safe sex with some who is HIV anyways..

                            You can have sex 100 times and only get the virus 3 times. So 3% chance of getting it anally anyways. it's not THAT easily transmitted.

                            The reason why gays have the stigma for HIV is that it's 1% rate with vaginal
                            If it is so hard to pass on then why do 1 in 7 gay men have it? Are they really having that much unprotected sex?

                            This is what scares me.
                            Because when HIV started in was predominately in the gay community . the gay community itself was small so people rotated partners and didn't used condoms.

                            Right now the spread in the western world is not that bad
                            Forever Young

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                            • #74
                              Originally posted by stevyy
                              i don't like one kind of gay:

                              stereotype my cousin:

                              It's the "I am nothing else but gay-type" or "I define myself as nothing more as being gay, a minority, fighting for rights, i am disrespected and unjustly treated in all areas of my life type of gay". My cousin is not a human being anymore.. he is GAY.. and that is everything that he is. He is married, but kisses other people when he is in bars (like heavy kissing), he is a nurse and married but sleeps with patients (for which he has lost his job).. he is also doctor gay.. he sees the GAY in everybody.. like having a serious conversation with some guy and trying to convince him that he is also gay... he is also fighting a lot.. no his life is an endless fight.. he is discriminated against in all areas of his life.. even shopping.. why are there no pink shopping cards? DISCRIMINATION.. why do ppl have a different opinion than him on random every-day things? DISCRIMINATION.. so you dont agree with him that he does everything right in his life? DISCRIMINATION.

                              even my sole rather chilled, politically mute behaviour to increase gay awareness makes me (also gay) discriminate him.

                              there no other topics apart from him being gay one could discuss with him.. all he is interested in, is being gay.. it is everything.. it all he talks about, everything that matters in life and everyone better agrees on everything.. or else DISCRIMINATION.

                              seriously dude, you embarrass me.. i am not gay if it means to vanish as a person behind your sexual orientation.. for me this is just one little side of me.. i am so much more as a person than just being gay, even i get offended when i see him mouth-raping random ppl in public.. like seriously, i would be as embarrassed if it was a straight couple tbh.

                              this is a type of gay i cannot stand at all. It is great to talk about your sexuality like when ppl ask you.. and stevyy what about you.. any boyfriends on the horizon? or sth like that.. but i not forcing myself on EVERYONE i know. It is great to be able to demonstrate for more equality and be happy about the new pro marriage law in Ireland.. but give me a break for once.. i do march for equality but not everyday.
                              This is brilliant and oddly hilarious. But i feel your pain and I know exactly what you mean. My best friend was that type and we parted ways because of it.
                              It's like I'm kissing her too...She's perfect.
                              Selena Gomez - REVIVAL

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                              • #75
                                Good article somewhat related to this topic:

                                http://www.samesame.com.au/features/128 ... y-bullying
                                Come Play: GUESS THE VIDEO!

                                Comment


                                • #76
                                  Originally posted by ArmyOfMe
                                  Originally posted by Tombo
                                  Originally posted by Loveguru
                                  Originally posted by stevyy
                                  who in his right mind would date a HIV positive guy.. when you are not HIV+ yourself? This has nothing to do with being homophobe or anti HIV+ people...(victims).. but it has to do with self-protection..afterall we are still talking about a deadly dicease. I can understand that love can lift u above the aids scare.. but that is a risk i am not willing to take for myself.

                                  You can have safe sex with some who is HIV anyways..

                                  You can have sex 100 times and only get the virus 3 times. So 3% chance of getting it anally anyways. it's not THAT easily transmitted.

                                  The reason why gays have the stigma for HIV is that it's 1% rate with vaginal
                                  If it is so hard to pass on then why do 1 in 7 gay men have it? Are they really having that much unprotected sex?

                                  This is what scares me.
                                  Where did you take those statistics from? I'm just curious cause those estimates are really hard to calculate
                                  From here boo: http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2010/07/21/on ... -have-hiv/

                                  It could be different in Milan, also the sample was taken from bars/clubs so it may not apply to people who don't frequent those areas but other research has had similar results.

                                  Comment


                                  • #77
                                    Man, gay scene =/= clubs, it's mean escorts, porn actors, strippers and stuff like that. And it's London, not some random small city.
                                    be kind to every kind (also the unkind kind!!!!! )

                                    Comment


                                    • #78
                                      Grindr Fatigue and the Dehumanization of Gay Men

                                      She writes, “If you’re a gay man, phrases like ‘no blacks’ and ‘no Asians’ aren’t just words that you’d find on old signs in a civil rights museum, they are an unavoidable and current feature of your online dating experience. On gay dating apps like Grindr and Scruff, some men post blunt and often offensive disclaimers on their profiles such as ‘no oldies,’ ‘no fems,’ and ‘no fatties.’”
                                      John Harrell is an HIV-positive man from Seattle who chooses to disclose his status on his profile. He has gotten a variety of negative responses over his status, but this is the one he remembers most.

                                      “OMG…WTF!!! You’re PROUD to be an AIDS infected Pandemic spreading, Pariah of Society, and cheer when others are infected with AIDS so you’re not the only one Spreading the Filth?!!! OMG!!!!
                                      --

                                      A great insight into certain dynamics of dating apps that undermine a lot of people's self-esteem. The part about sexual racism is particularly interesting and I'm still trying to make up my mind about it.

                                      Comment


                                      • #79
                                        All they say when you confront them is 'it's a preference'
                                        But that's just not how it works....

                                        Comment


                                        • #80
                                          It really is just a preference though.
                                          Those apps are there for a purpose.
                                          My Best of 2014...|Tumblr|Last.fm|Instagram

                                          Comment


                                          • #81
                                            Originally posted by LionH3art
                                            It really is just a preference though.
                                            Those apps are there for a purpose.
                                            I get it
                                            But why not wait and say 'sorry not my type' or not answer at all?
                                            Why do they have to let entire ethnic groups feel neglected like it was 1940??

                                            Comment


                                            • #82
                                              Sometimes gay people are nasty to me because I'm really camp and they're like omg you're so annoying and camp you're making gay people look bad :(

                                              But like is not my fault I've never ver like tried to be camper than I actually am or even associate being camp with liking boys like I think even if I was straight I would be camp as **** so like for me I can tell it's more environmental rather than linked explicitly to who I'm attracted to.

                                              However I get like criticised for being camp by a lot of LGBT people and I can't really help it and it's kind of hard being part of the section of LGBT people that's probably most negatively (personality wise not like whether you're gay/bi/trans etc) so like its a bit depressing sometimes
                                              BS:TS:IA:NM

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                                              • #83
                                                Originally posted by LionH3art
                                                It really is just a preference though.
                                                Those apps are there for a purpose.
                                                I agree. If i would ever use such sites/apps, not that i ever did, my disclaimer would say: no teens.. is that offensive? idk.
                                                My Chart

                                                Comment


                                                • #84
                                                  That's what came to my mind as well, "just a preference". We could compare it to preferring smooth over hairy guys or vice versa, but I'm wondering whether it's really that way. Certain sexual desires are mainly a result of your cultural background (for instance, see how straight men now prefer women that don't have a forest down there), so in a way this could be a subconscious way of white, European men to express some prejudice that is radicated in us. Or maybe we just like what's similar to us. I really don't know.

                                                  Still, I find the "no blacks", "no oldies", "no twinks" tags annoying af.

                                                  @toxicALIENS: always be your beautiful self! You were born this way

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                                                  • #85
                                                    Originally posted by toxicALIENS
                                                    Sometimes gay people are nasty to me because I'm really camp and they're like omg you're so annoying and camp you're making gay people look bad :(

                                                    But like is not my fault I've never ver like tried to be camper than I actually am or even associate being camp with liking boys like I think even if I was straight I would be camp as **** so like for me I can tell it's more environmental rather than linked explicitly to who I'm attracted to.

                                                    However I get like criticised for being camp by a lot of LGBT people and I can't really help it and it's kind of hard being part of the section of LGBT people that's probably most negatively (personality wise not like whether you're gay/bi/trans etc) so like its a bit depressing sometimes
                                                    please dont ever apologize for who you are.

                                                    I despise the "victim-gay".. the kind of person who is gay and lost all other trades of a decent character. The victim gay usually wallows in self-pity and is offended by everything society does. The victim gay is also very small-minded and tires to force his/her opinion on others. My cousin is a victim gay and he's my least favourite person in my whole family, he even ranks lower than my gay-hatin' Hell's Angels biker uncle.
                                                    My Chart

                                                    Comment


                                                    • #86
                                                      Originally posted by toxicALIENS
                                                      Sometimes gay people are nasty to me because I'm really camp and they're like omg you're so annoying and camp you're making gay people look bad :(

                                                      But like is not my fault I've never ver like tried to be camper than I actually am or even associate being camp with liking boys like I think even if I was straight I would be camp as **** so like for me I can tell it's more environmental rather than linked explicitly to who I'm attracted to.

                                                      However I get like criticised for being camp by a lot of LGBT people and I can't really help it and it's kind of hard being part of the section of LGBT people that's probably most negatively (personality wise not like whether you're gay/bi/trans etc) so like its a bit depressing sometimes

                                                      Just ignore them, Rhys. People in general are a*****e's, it's nothing you did, it's their problem not yours.

                                                      Comment


                                                      • #87
                                                        There are guys who prefer black guys as well, really don't see the issue. And personally I'm generally not into black/asian/fem guys, but I would never put it in my profile because it is only generally like that.
                                                        My Best of 2014...|Tumblr|Last.fm|Instagram

                                                        Comment


                                                        • #88
                                                          Originally posted by LionH3art
                                                          There are guys who prefer black guys as well, really don't see the issue. And personally I'm generally not into black/asian/fem guys, but I would never put it in my profile because it is only generally like that.
                                                          That's my point
                                                          Everybody has preferences. But saying 'not my type of guy' in a private chat is something different than writing NO ASIANS or sthlt

                                                          Comment


                                                          • #89
                                                            I dont like when someone says if I dont like asians (I dont mind actually) it makes me racist ... I think there is a very big difference between racism and preference. What makes the difference is how you express that ... if you put 'no rice, no curry' then it is racist.
                                                            nekoo.cz - follow me

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                                                            • #90
                                                              Why can't you just wait for the Asian person to contact you and gentle tell them that you are no interested.


                                                              I am currently dating a white person but i AM NOT INTO ALL WHITE PEOPLE. Using your analogy i should be specific about what breed of white/black/asian people i like.


                                                              saying No asians is racist and degrading.
                                                              Forever Young

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