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The Last Thing To Make You Laugh

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  • Originally posted by Preyoncé View Post
    Christmas is in the air!

    My Instagram... - Click here

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    • Question.

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      • Waffles are checked cookies

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        • What was that?
          | Ciara | Beyoncé | Janet | Toni | Kelly R | Leona | Tinashe | Whitney | Brandy | Monica | Tevin | Mariah | Britney | Tamia |

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          • the airpods carrying case



            Liam Payne recently lamented that when One Direction’s management realised he was the sensible one, they made him keep his bandmates in check. Getting cast as Mr Boring was annoying, he explained, yielding him the least screams from fans. Happily for Payne, solo freedom has let him reap maximum screams and embrace his officiousness: with 3.7bn streams, he is the most commercially popular 1D member.


            It’s hard to see why. Despite LP1’s effortful attempts to cast Payne as a sexual piranha, the 26-year-old generally comes off as an uptight scold. On Hips Don’t Lie, he stares at a woman’s groin as she dances and warns that she’d better not be wasting his time. “I hope your hips don’t lie unless they’re lying with me,” he sings, a conclusion so deathly it feels like a funeral for reproduction. The thrumming Rude Hours finds him inviting a lady to a “parking lot”. “Might be a bad idea,” he admits, “I’ll probably do your ass in the car.” But never let it be said that Payne is boring and responsible: “Key unlocks the door, ticket on the floor.” If it’s a pay and display, there’ll be murder if it’s not clearly visible. Stack It Up is halfway between a 2003 50 Cent single and the Tory manifesto: “If you wanna stack it up,” he advises, “you gotta work for it.”

            Such are the accidental highs of an album empty of intentional humour, heart, or anything much human at all beyond base carnality. Its generic trap and Latin-tinged production and its many guest rappers suggest Payne is trying to keep pace with Drake and the Weeknd. He can’t, because his rank randiness lacks the sense of guilty pleasure that makes his Canadian contemporaries irresistible. The simmering Both Ways, about a woman who loves threesomes, finds him and her “sharing that body like it’s our last meal”, like cheetahs at a carcass. On Familiar, he admires a lady who’s “shaped like a model or some kind of bottle” – Orangina? Ketchup? Perhaps this leg-crossing horror show is another sign of Payne’s prudence: LP1 is a terrible pop album, but very effective contraception.
            screaming at (the accuracy of) this review
            late.

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            • This entire thread

              See latest news on Reports, Infractions & Bans
              See Mariah Carey's Memoir thread

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              • Originally posted by Thriller View Post


                Question.
                It's a classic.
                Waffles are checked cookies

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                • ¡Eh, mamá!
                  Me quiero matar
                  El mundo se va a la mierda
                  Y no he hecho nada

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                  • I feel like I had already seen this on here? From 5:25, still makes me laugh

                    ¡Eh, mamá!
                    Me quiero matar
                    El mundo se va a la mierda
                    Y no he hecho nada

                    Comment




                    • and I oop
                      (even though it's a parody account).
                      Waffles are checked cookies

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                      • Comment


                        • Waffles are checked cookies

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                          • Originally posted by flopho View Post


                            never knew Ken Lee had a cousin
                            Have to be honest, I only speak English and I sing songs like this too lol I really struggle to understand what people are saying in songs tbh
                            Please Stop the Music

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                            • Originally posted by Crackiswack View Post
                              Have to be honest, I only speak English and I sing songs like this too lol I really struggle to understand what people are saying in songs tbh
                              To be fair Rihanna thought Sia was singing POLITICS on that demo when it was really All it takes.

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                              • Nailed every single one
                                You drew stars around my scars

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                                • | Ciara | Beyoncé | Janet | Toni | Kelly R | Leona | Tinashe | Whitney | Brandy | Monica | Tevin | Mariah | Britney | Tamia |

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                                  • Originally posted by Colbie View Post

                                    Nailed every single one
                                    I screamed at the "bery bery happy " lol

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                                    • Originally posted by InFamous View Post
                                      To be fair Rihanna thought Sia was singing POLITICS on that demo when it was really All it takes.

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                                      • Originally posted by Colbie View Post

                                        Nailed every single one
                                        Just came here to post this too!! He did it so effortlessly
                                        Britney Spears • Janet Jackson • Christina Aguilera • Michael Jackson • Selena Gomez • Hilary Duff • Taylor Swift • Justin Timberlake

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                                        • ^ Ikr

                                          You drew stars around my scars

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                                          • | Ciara | Beyoncé | Janet | Toni | Kelly R | Leona | Tinashe | Whitney | Brandy | Monica | Tevin | Mariah | Britney | Tamia |

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                                            • Last edited by aRat; Sun December 15, 2019, 22:54.
                                              BEAUTY IS A MUST, TALENT IS A PLUS
                                              98 - OUT

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                                              • When random people on message boards pretend to be industry insiders lol.



                                                It's like Gurl, you work in McDonalds lol.
                                                ( nothing wrong with that just an example )

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                                                • Watched this a million times
                                                  Britney Spears • Janet Jackson • Christina Aguilera • Michael Jackson • Selena Gomez • Hilary Duff • Taylor Swift • Justin Timberlake

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                                                  • Originally posted by IAmWill View Post
                                                    This might be the most impactful post on UKMIX of all-time. The way this post started the Shardinay legend, and changed UKMIX forever. #Iconic
                                                    Last edited by sbk; Mon December 16, 2019, 22:08.

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