Desire of a family

[theMathematician]

I have got a question for the parents on here. I haven't been a relationship yet, but it's a high priority for me to become a parent someday. There are people waiting for years until they eventually become a parent (e.g. Enrique Iglesias) and then there are ones who already are 'in joyful anticipation' a few weeks after their first date.
Here's the thing: I'm bi with a tendency for men and as we all know, two men can't conceive a child the natural way. In Germany, adoption is legal, surrogacy not yet (it needs to be done abroad), so that would require a lot of time and money. I'm sure it's useful to tell a potential partner soon that you want to have children, but, irrespectively of whether they'll be a man or a woman, when is the right timing to start making things concrete without overwhelming the partner? Any ideas?

[Eamon]

People under 20 shouldn't be having kids no matter what their sexual orientation. If it comes by accident fine but otherwise they should just use protection.

Yeah cause they usually can't support the child! Children need stability!

[jio]

People under 20 shouldn't be having kids no matter what their sexual orientation. If it comes by accident fine but otherwise they should just use protection.

[Tom92]

Seeing these pics of Billie Piper and her baby in the paper today made me want a kid when i'm older -

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/ar ... -park.html

So sweet and precious
I think its a milestone you have to get to, when you've achieved what YOU want to achieve first though. I think i'll wait at least 10 years.

[Leo92]

I'm 18 & gay but I don't want kids so it all good

Easy. Simple.

[matugama]

i want a kid by the time i'm 23, im probably gonna be a single parent lol as i can't be bothered arguing with the hubby over every little detail. my kid, my way. if its a girl, names gonna be Rory(copyrighted) a boy, i'm gonna self tittle him and give him a nickname as a middle name. thats right, im gonna be one of those parents that you love to hate

surrogacy all the way, i just roll my eyes at all the religious/moral nonsense about arguments against surrogacy etc. m

[MadeOfBricks]

That is true, but I think that it's important for a child to be brought up around love, and what better example of that is there than to be brought up by two people who are in love with each other?

Plus, it takes two to make a baby and it's my view that it should take two to raise one. Obviously that isn't the deal with all situations, and I'm not against single parents or whatever, cos sometimes that works out better, but I know that I'm always gonna want to make it work with Katie (my girlfrend) just as much as I'm gonna love my baby.

[Brazilian]

If you are in a loving relationship, straight or gay and the kid can be brought up in a loving environment then I see nothing wrong with having children however you want to.

I don't think a relationship is very important to have babies. Relationships can last weeks, months ,years etc., but to have offspring is decision for the rest of our lives.

[Toadallstar2]

. If you are in a loving relationship, straight or gay and the kid can be brought up in a loving environment then I see nothing wrong with having children however you want to.

Indeed.

[MadeOfBricks]

Thanks for the congrats! I always did want kids, and I always saw me and Katie (my current girlfriend of almost 3 years) having children, but just not so soon. We've lived together for almost a year, so I feel like as a couple, we're ready. I wish I'd have finished uni and got us on our feet first, with a reliable job, house etc. but it's just the way that life works. Our little boy is an accident, yes. We actually did take the morning after pill, clearly it didn't work but we're ready for him. We've been saving, we've made plans for after I finish university next year and all I really need now is a job.

I think the desire for children comes to everyone. I knew I'd have them relatively early, but not this quickly! If you wanna have kids purely for selfish reasons, then that's unfair. If you are in a loving relationship, straight or gay and the kid can be brought up in a loving environment then I see nothing wrong with having children however you want to.

[HBIC]

I'm 18 & gay but I don't want kids so it all good

[LightSeeker]

This has crossed my mind for a while now. A few years ago I did want kids. Now Im not so sure. Im gay and when I wanted kids I never saw it as a problem or an obstacle. I dunno, maybe I'll just keep changing my mind until the time comes when I decide for sure.

[jonasmileynlt]

Not interested in having any kids, and seriously doubt I ever will be. Even if I did end up having one then it would be through adoption; I don't want to contribute to overpopulation!

I think that's a just as ridiculous way of thinking of it as the two you mentioned.
"I don't want to contribute to overpopulation" is just as ridiculous a reason for NOT having children if not more than what you mentioned ridiculous for having children!

I'm sorry but that's rubbish! Overpopulation is actually set to become quite a serious problem in the coming years!!! But that is just one of the reasons I don't want children though -- there are many more!

Fertility rates are declining everywhere. Population growth is slowing.. even in many African countries.

In most of Europe, Eastern Asia, Canada, parts of the Middle East, etc., population is declining or will start to decline in the near future. Japan, South Korea, Italy, Germany, etc. are countries that are in bad shape because people aren't having enough children. A large population of elderly people is detrimental to economies.

[NoAngels]

If I ever want to have children, I have to pay a surrogate mother. But I'll try everything to become a parent. I would also adopt, but seriously, i don't want to wait like 10 years until the official offices agree. It's still incredibly difficult for same sex couples to adopt (at least in my country)

It's hard for a child to grow up with two dads or two moms. At least that's how I see it personally!

As for my view point on the main topic, I want to have children, but for the time being not at all.

[stevyy]

If I ever want to have children, I have to pay a surrogate mother. But I'll try everything to become a parent. I would also adopt, but seriously, i don't want to wait like 10 years until the official offices agree. It's still incredibly difficult for same sex couples to adopt (at least in my country)

[Omnipresence]

Not interested in having any kids, and seriously doubt I ever will be. Even if I did end up having one then it would be through adoption; I don't want to contribute to overpopulation!

I think that's a just as ridiculous way of thinking of it as the two you mentioned.
"I don't want to contribute to overpopulation" is just as ridiculous a reason for NOT having children if not more than what you mentioned ridiculous for having children!

I'm sorry but that's rubbish! Overpopulation is actually set to become quite a serious problem in the coming years!!! But that is just one of the reasons I don't want children though -- there are many more!

[UKMusicLova]

Not interested in having any kids, and seriously doubt I ever will be. Even if I did end up having one then it would be through adoption; I don't want to contribute to overpopulation!

I think that's a just as ridiculous way of thinking of it as the two you mentioned.
"I don't want to contribute to overpopulation" is just as ridiculous a reason for NOT having children if not more than what you mentioned ridiculous for having children!

[Tom92]

I don't think I want to live to an age so old, i'm left on my own to rot anyway :-?

[Omnipresence]

Not interested in having any kids, and seriously doubt I ever will be. Even if I did end up having one then it would be through adoption; I don't want to contribute to overpopulation!

Some people say that you will regret not having kids later in life because there will be noone to look after you, but that's an extremely selfish and pathetic reason to have kids!

Another reason people give is that you leave a mark on the world by furthering your genes -- but I don't give a damn about that. Besides, how many people have been remembered in history just because they've had children? There are more effective ways to leave a legacy!!!

[Brazilian]

I’d never intend being straight , messing up the life of someone only to reach my desire. People that act like that are wicked.
I think about women that want to be mother even out of a marriage. When I say “real mother”,I’m talking about character and good manners.
That’s a plan only to something like 10 years later.

[heyall]

Re: Desire of a family

I'm gay and I have feeling the need of being daddy lately. I love children and I'd love to give them a real mother. I don't wanna a man as a partner for the rest of my life (it's only my personal choice!)

What you think about that!? (Congrats to MadeofBrick!)

But how can you love a woman on the way you love a man? Since you're saying you don't want a man as a partner for the rest of your life!
Having children and being gay isn't something weird. Maybe that's your problem. I bet if you had live in the Netherlands, that you wouldn't make a commment like that.
I don't know how old you are, but maybe you should give yourself some more time.

[skapunk]

Do what Ricky Martin did. There is a solution to everything. But if you want them to have a mother, you will have to live in a fake relationship for the rest of your life, which would ruin hers as well in return. your call.

[nekoocz]

Re: Desire of a family

I'm gay and I have feeling the need of being daddy lately. I love children and I'd love to give them a real mother.

you wanna give them a woman who you have no feelings with or someone you will love and you´ll make a home for those kids with ?

[jonasmileynlt]

I'm perfectly fine with the fact that I'm a homo (It's been a long process to accept it), however it does suck that I'll probably never have an intimate relationship with a woman.. and have kids with that person.

Grass is always greener.. but if I was straight, I wouldn't give up my opportunity to find a wife and have children..

[Tom92]

I personally don't want children. I might change my mind, but for now, thats how it is.

The idea of a child being dependant on me for a good part of my life, from the moment its born, is just....no to me.

[Eamon]

I want to have kids someday but its all about the right person and if they come along. I don't want to grow old and be on my own cause I didn't have kids. Its one of my top priorities!!

[Shorty]

My best friend has an absolutely gorgeous 10 month old son named Zachary, who I adore.

Seeing her with him makes me wants one of my own, but then I think hell no cos I don't have a job and I still live at home

For now, I'll just continue to dote on Zachary, I'm like his aunty

[xtofer]

I wanna have kids of my own too! I plan to adopt someday but I also want some that kids that from me.

Majority of my closest girl friends are either lesbian or bi. So I asked some of them if they could act as "surrogate mother" to my children someday. Most of them are willing. So, it means don't have a problem about it.

I think you should go think it over. You don't wanna raise kids in an environment where the parents aren't getting along well.

[Charmbracelet]

Man

...NOOOO!

All this time I thought you were a straight woman.
You said you were gay (lesbian) so that was a shocker by itself. And then... you're a man.

[DaBoi]

You have to follow your dreams, if a family is what you want go for it.
You've got to be 100% sure though, because once you had a baby there's no turning back, your life will be forever changed.
I'm gay (really happy with my life) and unfortunately I don't feel any kind of need to have babies, yet.
My parents are like my kids now, I love them to bits.
What I do want though is a dog (or maybe 3)