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  • Originally posted by Rihab View Post
    the effort.. why not just block him right away lol

    the best way not to appear scared? pretending to not give a f*ck! if you write 12 paragraphs about why you're not scared at all, that might just come across as a tiny bit insecure
    I know. But I also just wanted to brag about all those experiences.
    Originally posted by WhatTheHell
    Voice of the truth here!! :(

    Comment


    • Originally posted by clh_hilary View Post
      I know. But I also just wanted to brag about all those experiences.
      We could tell
      COMMON LOVE ISN'T FOR US...

      Comment


      • Originally posted by cheapthrills View Post
        Weirdly, I've been having success joining Kik groups more than I have with the hookup apps.
        I might as well try this because Grindr and its sister apps have been the epitome of bleh lately. Even Tinder has been shockingly underwhelming. Interestingly enough, I've had decent dates from Grindr and Jack'd, but it's Tinder where I've had zero success (and utterly bizarre propositions).
        Akini's Top 100 Albums of the Decade: [70-66]

        Comment


        • Originally posted by JSparksFan View Post
          I might as well try this because Grindr and its sister apps have been the epitome of bleh lately. Even Tinder has been shockingly underwhelming. Interestingly enough, I've had decent dates from Grindr and Jack'd, but it's Tinder where I've had zero success (and utterly bizarre propositions).
          I recently deleted Grindr but I have a few of the others. Guys here are not into dating. they prefer a quick hook up and on to the next one. I just want to go out on dates!

          Comment


          • Originally posted by JSparksFan View Post
            I might as well try this because Grindr and its sister apps have been the epitome of bleh lately. Even Tinder has been shockingly underwhelming. Interestingly enough, I've had decent dates from Grindr and Jack'd, but it's Tinder where I've had zero success (and utterly bizarre propositions).
            I think I heard Kik is going away though.

            I've had the least amount of success on Tinder as well. Like I get lots of matches but they don't lead to real conversations.

            Comment


            • I just can't seem to make the whole dating/hookup app thingy work, it's not a good fit for my personality. I'm much better off getting out there and meeting people face to face. Very 20th Century, I know, but it's what works for me.
              The sands of time fade into dark
              Feel your pulse it's groove o'clock
              A message to madness
              Feel music that's realness

              Comment


              • Originally posted by dylonj View Post
                I recently deleted Grindr but I have a few of the others. Guys here are not into dating. they prefer a quick hook up and on to the next one. I just want to go out on dates!
                Yeah, I thought I'd have improved my chances by moving, but there's actually been a bit of a regression, shockingly enough. I think there's a real beauty in actually getting to know someone and building a genuine bond before upping the physical ante, but I am in a super small minority, clearly!

                Originally posted by cheapthrills View Post
                I think I heard Kik is going away though.

                I've had the least amount of success on Tinder as well. Like I get lots of matches but they don't lead to real conversations.
                I'm gonna hop on it while it's still around.

                The most I've ever gotten from a Tinder convo was a quality Netflix show recommendation, but I was appreciative of even that.

                Originally posted by NormiMalone View Post
                I just can't seem to make the whole dating/hookup app thingy work, it's not a good fit for my personality. I'm much better off getting out there and meeting people face to face. Very 20th Century, I know, but it's what works for me.
                The introvert in me hates this, but I've even been doing a bit of that lately...and it still often leads to meeting guys who just want to have NSA sex.

                As with most things in life, I suspect this is one of those "be patient, optimistic, and assertive" moments, but I'm bad at two out of three, and the optimism is receding.
                Akini's Top 100 Albums of the Decade: [70-66]

                Comment


                • I understand getting out there BUT the guys I like aren't out there. they rarely are

                  Comment


                  • This app crushes dreams and expectations.
                    Rather get in touch with people in the real world.

                    There ainít no amount of inches that make up for the disappointment.
                    YOU KNOW ME, I JUST DON'T STOP. | My last.fm

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by JSparksFan View Post
                      The introvert in me hates this, but I've even been doing a bit of that lately...and it still often leads to meeting guys who just want to have NSA sex.
                      Environment is key, though. If you meet a guy at the bar or the club or even at Pride, he's most likely got NSA sex on his mind. But if you meet him in another context, he'll be more likely to want to get to know you. I've had better luck meeting people when I wasn't specifically trying to meet people. You can increase your odds just by doing more of the thing that interest you and staying open to the signs. Take a class you've always wanted to take, see what's happening at your local library, go to a museum you've never been to, etc. You never know who'll you'll meet when you're just out there living your life
                      The sands of time fade into dark
                      Feel your pulse it's groove o'clock
                      A message to madness
                      Feel music that's realness

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by NormiMalone View Post
                        Environment is key, though. If you meet a guy at the bar or the club or even at Pride, he's most likely got NSA sex on his mind. But if you meet him in another context, he'll be more likely to want to get to know you. I've had better luck meeting people when I wasn't specifically trying to meet people. You can increase your odds just by doing more of the thing that interest you and staying open to the signs. Take a class you've always wanted to take, see what's happening at your local library, go to a museum you've never been to, etc. You never know who'll you'll meet when you're just out there living your life
                        Ugh I am tired of attracting guys who only want sex. Maybe I really should search in other places other than clubs or grindr.
                        COMMON LOVE ISN'T FOR US...

                        Comment


                        • I decided to delete all of the apps since they've started to make me lose faith there are actually normal people out there. Now i'm just going with the flow even tho my chances of meeting someone the normal way are low

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                          • If this give you guys some hope: I actually met my ex (together for over 7 years) and my current partner (together since March 2017) through these apps, so I think it is possible to find something serious.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Tansike View Post
                              If this give you guys some hope: I actually met my ex (together for over 7 years) and my current partner (together since March 2017) through these apps, so I think it is possible to find something serious.
                              I met my last partner through them as well! We lasted 7 years. I have met a few cool friends through it as well so there is hope!

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by aRat View Post
                                Ugh I am tired of attracting guys who only want sex. Maybe I really should search in other places other than clubs or grindr.
                                You should... Lemme suggest places you and [MENTION=15085]toni_pest[/MENTION] will find normal people.

                                1 At the cinemas and/or theaters
                                2 After a concert
                                3 The boring work seminars

                                A while back I took the bold step of doing away with dating apps and actually just approaching someone I fancied and starting a conversation from there. I had gone to watch a stage play alone and he too was alone. I pretended I was new to that place and asked for the directions to the main auditorium. He was kind enough to show me around. By the close of the night I had his number, the following weekend I was inviting him to watch another play. Soon after we were hanging out in clubs, parks and all those places. When I finally felt we were good friends, I invited him over to my place and made my intentions known

                                Comment


                                • I met my husband at work.

                                  So obviously I haven't been searching for a love intrest since, but I met other nice gay guys as friends by going to gay clubs, going to Madonna parties, at parties of other gay friends, at concerts, etc.
                                  Don't give up, just look around.
                                  My Instagram... - Click here

                                  Comment


                                  • I went on a Grindr date this past Saturday, and it was fine. He didn't kill me, and we had a decent time, which qualifies as a success in my book.

                                    Originally posted by cheapthrills View Post
                                    I think I heard Kik is going away though.

                                    I've had the least amount of success on Tinder as well. Like I get lots of matches but they don't lead to real conversations.
                                    My Kik experience thus far has been a flop.

                                    Originally posted by NormiMalone View Post
                                    Environment is key, though. If you meet a guy at the bar or the club or even at Pride, he's most likely got NSA sex on his mind. But if you meet him in another context, he'll be more likely to want to get to know you. I've had better luck meeting people when I wasn't specifically trying to meet people. You can increase your odds just by doing more of the thing that interest you and staying open to the signs. Take a class you've always wanted to take, see what's happening at your local library, go to a museum you've never been to, etc. You never know who'll you'll meet when you're just out there living your life
                                    I definitely agree with you about context, though I will say that I recently attended an LGBT professional networking event and somehow still ended up coming across a guy who wanted to exchange numbers to meet up later for sex. So sometimes environment doesn't do as much as you would like.

                                    Also, unfortunately, most of the things I'm passionate about are solo activities and I generally do enjoy spending a large chunk of my free time by myself, so that doesn't really open the door to many networking opportunities.

                                    Honestly, I 100% believe that these things come to you when you're not looking for it, so perhaps I can just chill a bit and let it happen in its own time. I remember meeting what seemed like a great prospect on a pretty regular day just super randomly, and that organic meeting was really cute.
                                    Akini's Top 100 Albums of the Decade: [70-66]

                                    Comment


                                    • Originally posted by JSparksFan View Post
                                      I went on a Grindr date this past Saturday, and it was fine. He didn't kill me, and we had a decent time, which qualifies as a success in my book.
                                      I heard it's hard to get back into the dating game when you get killed on a date.
                                      I have received many gifts from God,
                                      but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess
                                      .

                                      Don McLean on Madonna's version of American Pie

                                      Comment


                                      • I met my SO of 5 years now on Okcupid. I dont know if thats still a thing but hes 100% normal. I would never date anyone on Grindr as I dont trust any of them. Grindr can get addicting when you know hooking up with someone is as easy as opening an app

                                        Comment


                                        • I never hooked up on Grindr. I chatted with some people years years ago, but never actually went to a date or smth.
                                          I have received many gifts from God,
                                          but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess
                                          .

                                          Don McLean on Madonna's version of American Pie

                                          Comment


                                          • @DOSSOME: You are right. If you're really searching for a serious long-term relationship, real life is the place where your chances are the biggest. I only see two little difficulties there: If you're a man sexually attracted to men, the chance is 90-95% that the guy you are talking to is attracted to the opposite sex. In other words: You may have to face many rejections. And then you need to start a discussion (or at least get involved into one) somehow, which may not be easy for introvert men.

                                            @RayRay: Your relationship really sounds like an ideal. I wish I will be there someday as well. Well, less cats and more children, but you get my point ;) . On the dating site I'm registered on, there are so many dudes who sleep around and are into open relationships. This seems so impractical for real life communication to me. I mean, could you imagine any of these scenarios ?:
                                            1. 'So, Mr. Miller, we've worked together for quite a while now and I still haven't met your wife. How's she doing?' 'Well, I don't have a wife but a f*ckboy.'
                                            2. 'So Mr. Smith, I've seen that young man entering and leaving your house on the regular lately; is he your brother?' 'Not quite, he's my affair for occasional threesomes.'
                                            3. 'Mr. Primary School Teacher, I can't make it to the next parents' meeting due to job issues. My friend with benefits will substitute me. Is that OK, too?'
                                            Last edited by theMathematician; Tue October 15, 2019, 18:31.
                                            Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
                                            and everything you stand for?
                                            Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
                                            just to tell you that I see more?

                                            Comment


                                            • I still have the app on my phone, but never enter it. maybe like once a year, or when I’m abroad. Though the thought of actually going on a date horrifies me nowadays, can’t believe how eager I used to be.
                                              last.fm

                                              Comment


                                              • Originally posted by aRat View Post
                                                Ugh I am tired of attracting guys who only want sex. Maybe I really should search in other places other than clubs or grindr.
                                                Couldn't hurt to try, boo. It's a tricky gear shift to make from an energy stand point, especially if you're used to giving of those "Just wanna have fun" vibes. You could end up sending that signal without meaning to just by virtue of it being a habit when you're around a hawt guy. So be very clear about what you want for yourself before you head out there, that way you can be very intentional about the vibe you're giving.


                                                Originally posted by JSparksFan View Post
                                                I went on a Grindr date this past Saturday, and it was fine. He didn't kill me, and we had a decent time, which qualifies as a success in my book.


                                                My Kik experience thus far has been a flop


                                                I definitely agree with you about context, though I will say that I recently attended an LGBT professional networking event and somehow still ended up coming across a guy who wanted to exchange numbers to meet up later for sex. So sometimes environment doesn't do as much as you would like.

                                                Also, unfortunately, most of the things I'm passionate about are solo activities and I generally do enjoy spending a large chunk of my free time by myself, so that doesn't really open the door to many networking opportunities.

                                                Honestly, I 100% believe that these things come to you when you're not looking for it, so perhaps I can just chill a bit and let it happen in its own time. I remember meeting what seemed like a great prospect on a pretty regular day just super randomly, and that organic meeting was really cute.

                                                So glad you're able to get even a date off Grindr, I've not even gotten that far with it. Congrats! That is indeed a win. And I can relate to the floppage of Kik. It's a bust where I live.

                                                And it's true, men can be a horny lot no matter where you meet them; some of 'em really do just want to get off. But I agree wholeheartedly with your last statement: these thing come to you when you're not looking for them. You can make a tremendous connection just go on about life, do things you enjoy. Hope you're able to explore the potential of the prospect you met organically, keep us posted?
                                                The sands of time fade into dark
                                                Feel your pulse it's groove o'clock
                                                A message to madness
                                                Feel music that's realness

                                                Comment


                                                • Originally posted by NormiMalone View Post
                                                  So glad you're able to get even a date off Grindr, I've not even gotten that far with it. Congrats! That is indeed a win. And I can relate to the floppage of Kik. It's a bust where I live.

                                                  And it's true, men can be a horny lot no matter where you meet them; some of 'em really do just want to get off. But I agree wholeheartedly with your last statement: these thing come to you when you're not looking for them. You can make a tremendous connection just go on about life, do things you enjoy. Hope you're able to explore the potential of the prospect you met organically, keep us posted?
                                                  Yeah, I recently moved to a much bigger city than my old one, and I thought that because the pool was so much bigger here that there'd be, like, tonnes of eligible bachelors on the apps, but...it's not been working out that way. In my old city, once I got comfortable with the risk you take meeting up with a stranger, I actually met three fairly decent guys. One of them actually seemed like he was going to have some staying power, but that took a left turn and I jumped ship. Interestingly enough, I think I'm pretty big on using the apps because I'm four for four in terms of meeting decent guys, though I should probably knock on wood with that.

                                                  The organic connection was actually the biggest disappointment because I adored him so much - he ticked so many boxes for me - and then I found out he was DL with a girlfriend, and woefully in denial about his sexual orientation. That basically axed any chances for anything healthy to blossom. On paper, we seemed like a perfect match.

                                                  Funnily enough, it's only since last year May that I really even noticed I was single, and I think it's only since August of this year that I've actively been trying to change that, and I think that's largely due to me living on my own now so I guess it's a combination of curiosity, loneliness, and boredom (though the latter two often go hand in hand).

                                                  Inevitably, the novelty of being somewhere new will fade, and I suspect I'll settle into a rhythm whereby I'm not so keen on dating, and just more willing to take things as they come, whilst making minimal efforts to seek out what's available, but I'll keep you guys posted.
                                                  Akini's Top 100 Albums of the Decade: [70-66]

                                                  Comment


                                                  • [MENTION=23802]JSparksFan[/MENTION] unfortunately I've found the newcomer effect on these apps is very brief.

                                                    I think it is ironic that in bigger cities, it's harder to connect through them if it's not a hook-up. Those apps just make everyone too accessible. There's just too many choices and people get ADD when it comes to interaction with one another.

                                                    Comment


                                                    • Aw dang, that sucks about that guy--- you definitely don't need any insecure closeted energy in your life, [MENTION=23802]JSparksFan[/MENTION]. And I agree, you'll likely settle into a rhythm of taking things as they come and it is probably then that you'll find a good match. Fingers crossed for you!
                                                      The sands of time fade into dark
                                                      Feel your pulse it's groove o'clock
                                                      A message to madness
                                                      Feel music that's realness

                                                      Comment


                                                      • I hate Grindr.

                                                        However, since I’m back at uni I don’t feel like I need it.

                                                        It’s something you frequently put on when you’re home alone and bored, isn’t it?
                                                        YOU KNOW ME, I JUST DON'T STOP. | My last.fm

                                                        Comment


                                                        • Just a question...not necessarily related to grindr but how do you all feel about bathhouses?

                                                          Comment


                                                          • Originally posted by dylonj View Post
                                                            Just a question...not necessarily related to grindr but how do you all feel about bathhouses?
                                                            They can be fun and interesting, I went twice in Berlin and that's it. For me it's the type of thing I could do once a year, two years or even less, when I'm feeling extra adventurous, not something I would do more often. I had a good time, but I don't know when or if ever I'll do it again, not that into it atm.
                                                            last.fm

                                                            Comment


                                                            • Originally posted by dylonj View Post
                                                              Just a question...not necessarily related to grindr but how do you all feel about bathhouses?
                                                              Never been to one.
                                                              My Instagram... - Click here

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