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  • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
    RayRay : You're a nice guy and I think you don't mind me being honest here. I've gone to your Instagram site a few times and wondered: 'Why has this guy got so many pets rather than children?', only to realize that it would be rude to ask this, resulting in me biting my tongue in that case. I don't know neither you or your husband in person, but what I've learned about you, you would be a good father. I know that there are bad parents, but that would motivate me to do it even better. In fact, I feel like I can do my part to improve society by raising children to become good citizens. Additionally, the demographic evolution in Germany (same for many Western countries) leads politicians to consider allowing more migrants to come here in order to even that gap out. Not sure what's the situation in your country, but I've learned that people of different backgrounds living together may result in social tensions every now and then. So from an economical point of view, it's either more children or more migration - depending on costs, efficiency and duration.
    I don't think it's rude to ask why we have so many pets. I have loved animals (cows, dogs, cats, chickens, just any animal really) since I was a child. I don't know why, I only know I always have. My parents don't like animals and my siblings are not keen on pets either. But as a child I used to go to the farm a lot. And I knew that once I was out of my parents way, I would want a lot of pets. Luckily my husband feels the same.
    If I was with a woman, I probably would have children. As a child I always said to myself that I would like to have a lot of children or none at all. I wanted to save children and adopt as many as possible or have a totally different kind of life. I am a teacher, so in a way I do think I give something to children.
    My husband did want children at one point, but I see too many problems around me. And most of all, I don't want to bring children into this world. Of course we could adopt, but I've seen a lot of problems with adopted and foster children.

    Yes, different backgrounds can lead to tensions. I know this especially since I'm mixed race. My husband is English. So we don't really feel all Dutch. Maybe that's why I don't really care that much for an all Dutch society.
    My Instagram... - Click here

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    • WOW, thanks for your lovely reply, RayRay . I like how you're always polite and talk about sensitive topics like sexuality, culture and having children in a calm and objective way. That's a great character trait of yours and I'd love to continue that talk in the near future in case you don't mind.
      Don't need hindsight
      I'll make my emotions clear
      And then disappear
      With one strike
      (All Saints)

      Comment


      • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
        WOW, thanks for your lovely reply, RayRay . I like how you're always polite and talk about sensitive topics like sexuality, culture and having children in a calm and objective way. That's a great character trait of yours and I'd love to continue that talk in the near future in case you don't mind.
        Thank you for the nice words. And of course I won't mind to continue this talk in the future. It's an interesting subject, I think.
        My Instagram... - Click here

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        • Originally posted by theMathematician View Post
          I feel like I can do my part to improve society by raising children to become good citizens.
          Originally posted by RayRay View Post
          Of course we could adopt, but I've seen a lot of problems with adopted and foster children.
          I know RayRay isn't generalizing, but I did want to defend adoptees here. There can be issues to be aware of, particularly if you adopt an older child. It's true that you should be aware of your limitations in those situations and what you can believe you can handle. However, children are also incredibly resilient and many adoptees weather it all without issues. What I've learned as an adoptive parent is that every situation is different. Parenting is not easy and I often wish I could go back and re-do some of the parenting decisions I've made, but by far the most rewarding thing about being a parent is the bond that develops as your child grows.

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          • Originally posted by cheapthrills View Post



            I know RayRay isn't generalizing, but I did want to defend adoptees here. There can be issues to be aware of, particularly if you adopt an older child. It's true that you should be aware of your limitations in those situations and what you can believe you can handle. However, children are also incredibly resilient and many adoptees weather it all without issues. What I've learned as an adoptive parent is that every situation is different. Parenting is not easy and I often wish I could go back and re-do some of the parenting decisions I've made, but by far the most rewarding thing about being a parent is the bond that develops as your child grows.
            I think it's wonderful that people adopt or foster children. But I've seen children turning against their parents, children finding it hard to deal with being adopted, children dying because they played on trash and filth before they were adopted. Of course there are people who survive and who love their new parents unconditionally.
            But yes, parenting is not easy. I see so many sad cases at school. Most people think way too lightly about becoming a parent.
            I can imagine that bonding is the best part. That's also the best part of being a teacher: bonding with the children.
            My Instagram... - Click here

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            • I worked as teacher for half a year and as much as I liked some of the kids, it was more of a professional relationship towards them. The relationship to my own kids would always be different. Especially if they were biologically related to me... I'm a 5 on the Kinsey scale, so I could end up with a woman by my side, which means that I could have children the 'natural' way. In case it's gonna be a guy instead, the current situation in Germany only allows adoption and not surrogacy. Surrogacy abroad would be a logistically challenging decision, but at least the children could be biologically related to me and my partner. If adoption, then children during infancy and ones that look like me and my partner (=Caucasian).
              Don't need hindsight
              I'll make my emotions clear
              And then disappear
              With one strike
              (All Saints)

              Comment


              • Who would have thought we'd be talking about becoming a parent in the Grindr thread?
                My Instagram... - Click here

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                • So a number of people in different cities in México have messaged me saying "coronavirus". It was amusing at first, but it got old by the third one.
                  Originally posted by WhatTheHell
                  Voice of the truth here!! :(

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                  • I'm surprised people are still hooking up during this corona mess. I would be too freaked out having some random man touching me.

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                    • I don't think I would use Grindr.

                      I'm not inviting a stranger to my house or going to a stranger's house.

                      I prefer meeting people at parties, bars, Facebook....

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