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  • I met my husband at work.

    So obviously I haven't been searching for a love intrest since, but I met other nice gay guys as friends by going to gay clubs, going to Madonna parties, at parties of other gay friends, at concerts, etc.
    Don't give up, just look around.
    My Instagram... - Click here

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    • I went on a Grindr date this past Saturday, and it was fine. He didn't kill me, and we had a decent time, which qualifies as a success in my book.

      Originally posted by cheapthrills View Post
      I think I heard Kik is going away though.

      I've had the least amount of success on Tinder as well. Like I get lots of matches but they don't lead to real conversations.
      My Kik experience thus far has been a flop.

      Originally posted by NormiMalone View Post
      Environment is key, though. If you meet a guy at the bar or the club or even at Pride, he's most likely got NSA sex on his mind. But if you meet him in another context, he'll be more likely to want to get to know you. I've had better luck meeting people when I wasn't specifically trying to meet people. You can increase your odds just by doing more of the thing that interest you and staying open to the signs. Take a class you've always wanted to take, see what's happening at your local library, go to a museum you've never been to, etc. You never know who'll you'll meet when you're just out there living your life
      I definitely agree with you about context, though I will say that I recently attended an LGBT professional networking event and somehow still ended up coming across a guy who wanted to exchange numbers to meet up later for sex. So sometimes environment doesn't do as much as you would like.

      Also, unfortunately, most of the things I'm passionate about are solo activities and I generally do enjoy spending a large chunk of my free time by myself, so that doesn't really open the door to many networking opportunities.

      Honestly, I 100% believe that these things come to you when you're not looking for it, so perhaps I can just chill a bit and let it happen in its own time. I remember meeting what seemed like a great prospect on a pretty regular day just super randomly, and that organic meeting was really cute.
      Akini's Top 100 Albums of the Decade: [2-1!]

      Comment


      • Originally posted by JSparksFan View Post
        I went on a Grindr date this past Saturday, and it was fine. He didn't kill me, and we had a decent time, which qualifies as a success in my book.
        I heard it's hard to get back into the dating game when you get killed on a date.
        I have received many gifts from God,
        but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess
        .

        Don McLean on Madonna's version of American Pie

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        • I met my SO of 5 years now on Okcupid. I dont know if thats still a thing but hes 100% normal. I would never date anyone on Grindr as I dont trust any of them. Grindr can get addicting when you know hooking up with someone is as easy as opening an app

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          • I never hooked up on Grindr. I chatted with some people years years ago, but never actually went to a date or smth.
            I have received many gifts from God,
            but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess
            .

            Don McLean on Madonna's version of American Pie

            Comment


            • @DOSSOME: You are right. If you're really searching for a serious long-term relationship, real life is the place where your chances are the biggest. I only see two little difficulties there: If you're a man sexually attracted to men, the chance is 90-95% that the guy you are talking to is attracted to the opposite sex. In other words: You may have to face many rejections. And then you need to start a discussion (or at least get involved into one) somehow, which may not be easy for introvert men.

              @RayRay: Your relationship really sounds like an ideal. I wish I will be there someday as well. Well, less cats and more children, but you get my point ;) . On the dating site I'm registered on, there are so many dudes who sleep around and are into open relationships. This seems so impractical for real life communication to me. I mean, could you imagine any of these scenarios ?:
              1. 'So, Mr. Miller, we've worked together for quite a while now and I still haven't met your wife. How's she doing?' 'Well, I don't have a wife but a f*ckboy.'
              2. 'So Mr. Smith, I've seen that young man entering and leaving your house on the regular lately; is he your brother?' 'Not quite, he's my affair for occasional threesomes.'
              3. 'Mr. Primary School Teacher, I can't make it to the next parents' meeting due to job issues. My friend with benefits will substitute me. Is that OK, too?'
              Last edited by theMathematician; Tue October 15, 2019, 18:31.
              Is it offensive to fall in love with you and everything you do
              and everything you stand for?
              Could I break through your invisible wall, could I hide my pride for once,
              just to tell you that I see more?

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              • I still have the app on my phone, but never enter it. maybe like once a year, or when I’m abroad. Though the thought of actually going on a date horrifies me nowadays, can’t believe how eager I used to be.
                last.fm

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                • Originally posted by aRat View Post
                  Ugh I am tired of attracting guys who only want sex. Maybe I really should search in other places other than clubs or grindr.
                  Couldn't hurt to try, boo. It's a tricky gear shift to make from an energy stand point, especially if you're used to giving of those "Just wanna have fun" vibes. You could end up sending that signal without meaning to just by virtue of it being a habit when you're around a hawt guy. So be very clear about what you want for yourself before you head out there, that way you can be very intentional about the vibe you're giving.


                  Originally posted by JSparksFan View Post
                  I went on a Grindr date this past Saturday, and it was fine. He didn't kill me, and we had a decent time, which qualifies as a success in my book.


                  My Kik experience thus far has been a flop


                  I definitely agree with you about context, though I will say that I recently attended an LGBT professional networking event and somehow still ended up coming across a guy who wanted to exchange numbers to meet up later for sex. So sometimes environment doesn't do as much as you would like.

                  Also, unfortunately, most of the things I'm passionate about are solo activities and I generally do enjoy spending a large chunk of my free time by myself, so that doesn't really open the door to many networking opportunities.

                  Honestly, I 100% believe that these things come to you when you're not looking for it, so perhaps I can just chill a bit and let it happen in its own time. I remember meeting what seemed like a great prospect on a pretty regular day just super randomly, and that organic meeting was really cute.

                  So glad you're able to get even a date off Grindr, I've not even gotten that far with it. Congrats! That is indeed a win. And I can relate to the floppage of Kik. It's a bust where I live.

                  And it's true, men can be a horny lot no matter where you meet them; some of 'em really do just want to get off. But I agree wholeheartedly with your last statement: these thing come to you when you're not looking for them. You can make a tremendous connection just go on about life, do things you enjoy. Hope you're able to explore the potential of the prospect you met organically, keep us posted?
                  The sands of time fade into dark
                  Feel your pulse it's groove o'clock
                  A message to madness
                  Feel music that's realness

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by NormiMalone View Post
                    So glad you're able to get even a date off Grindr, I've not even gotten that far with it. Congrats! That is indeed a win. And I can relate to the floppage of Kik. It's a bust where I live.

                    And it's true, men can be a horny lot no matter where you meet them; some of 'em really do just want to get off. But I agree wholeheartedly with your last statement: these thing come to you when you're not looking for them. You can make a tremendous connection just go on about life, do things you enjoy. Hope you're able to explore the potential of the prospect you met organically, keep us posted?
                    Yeah, I recently moved to a much bigger city than my old one, and I thought that because the pool was so much bigger here that there'd be, like, tonnes of eligible bachelors on the apps, but...it's not been working out that way. In my old city, once I got comfortable with the risk you take meeting up with a stranger, I actually met three fairly decent guys. One of them actually seemed like he was going to have some staying power, but that took a left turn and I jumped ship. Interestingly enough, I think I'm pretty big on using the apps because I'm four for four in terms of meeting decent guys, though I should probably knock on wood with that.

                    The organic connection was actually the biggest disappointment because I adored him so much - he ticked so many boxes for me - and then I found out he was DL with a girlfriend, and woefully in denial about his sexual orientation. That basically axed any chances for anything healthy to blossom. On paper, we seemed like a perfect match.

                    Funnily enough, it's only since last year May that I really even noticed I was single, and I think it's only since August of this year that I've actively been trying to change that, and I think that's largely due to me living on my own now so I guess it's a combination of curiosity, loneliness, and boredom (though the latter two often go hand in hand).

                    Inevitably, the novelty of being somewhere new will fade, and I suspect I'll settle into a rhythm whereby I'm not so keen on dating, and just more willing to take things as they come, whilst making minimal efforts to seek out what's available, but I'll keep you guys posted.
                    Akini's Top 100 Albums of the Decade: [2-1!]

                    Comment


                    • [MENTION=23802]JSparksFan[/MENTION] unfortunately I've found the newcomer effect on these apps is very brief.

                      I think it is ironic that in bigger cities, it's harder to connect through them if it's not a hook-up. Those apps just make everyone too accessible. There's just too many choices and people get ADD when it comes to interaction with one another.

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                      • Aw dang, that sucks about that guy--- you definitely don't need any insecure closeted energy in your life, [MENTION=23802]JSparksFan[/MENTION]. And I agree, you'll likely settle into a rhythm of taking things as they come and it is probably then that you'll find a good match. Fingers crossed for you!
                        The sands of time fade into dark
                        Feel your pulse it's groove o'clock
                        A message to madness
                        Feel music that's realness

                        Comment


                        • I hate Grindr.

                          However, since I’m back at uni I don’t feel like I need it.

                          It’s something you frequently put on when you’re home alone and bored, isn’t it?
                          YOU KNOW ME, I JUST DON'T STOP. | My last.fm

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                          • Just a question...not necessarily related to grindr but how do you all feel about bathhouses?

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by dylonj View Post
                              Just a question...not necessarily related to grindr but how do you all feel about bathhouses?
                              They can be fun and interesting, I went twice in Berlin and that's it. For me it's the type of thing I could do once a year, two years or even less, when I'm feeling extra adventurous, not something I would do more often. I had a good time, but I don't know when or if ever I'll do it again, not that into it atm.
                              last.fm

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by dylonj View Post
                                Just a question...not necessarily related to grindr but how do you all feel about bathhouses?
                                Never been to one.
                                My Instagram... - Click here

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                                • I am traveling this weekend to Toronto sooo I’m thinking of trying one! The only problem is everyone thinks I’m a top because of my build BUT I like to “get handled”.

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                                  • What is a bathhouse?
                                    YOU KNOW ME, I JUST DON'T STOP. | My last.fm

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                                    • Originally posted by Loose View Post
                                      What is a bathhouse?
                                      Place where people go and have sex with random people.
                                      I have received many gifts from God,
                                      but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess
                                      .

                                      Don McLean on Madonna's version of American Pie

                                      Comment


                                      • Didn’t know that was a thing.
                                        YOU KNOW ME, I JUST DON'T STOP. | My last.fm

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                                        • This is a good read and pretty bang on..

                                          https://urbanconnections.co.uk/gaylonelyinthebigcity/
                                          LJC--->>

                                          Comment


                                          • Originally posted by LJC123 View Post
                                            This is a good read and pretty bang on..

                                            https://urbanconnections.co.uk/gaylonelyinthebigcity/
                                            The accuracy is terrifying!
                                            Akini's Top 100 Albums of the Decade: [2-1!]

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                                            • Originally posted by LJC123 View Post
                                              This is a good read and pretty bang on..

                                              https://urbanconnections.co.uk/gaylonelyinthebigcity/
                                              This is the same in every big city actually!!

                                              Comment


                                              • Isn’t it! Quite sad really... I’m in London and do feel lonely. The apps are really grating on me.
                                                LJC--->>

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                                                • This ghosting after meeting phenomenon is so global.

                                                  London ain’t no different from Paris or Stockholm or Bukarest.
                                                  YOU KNOW ME, I JUST DON'T STOP. | My last.fm

                                                  Comment


                                                  • Originally posted by LJC123 View Post
                                                    This is a good read and pretty bang on..

                                                    https://urbanconnections.co.uk/gaylonelyinthebigcity/
                                                    Excellent article! It's the same thing in any other big city.
                                                    My YouTube Channel - The best songs of the 80s, 90s and 2000s

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