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Postby ArmyOfMe » Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:33 am

Jesper wrote:I am still in a phase where I explore things for the first time, since I only came out a year ago, and I am almost 25 now lol, I still have to get used to the fact that when people you know find out or you tell them you are gay that you get that 'I always thought you were different, but couldn't put my finger on it' conversation, or atleast that is the conversation I had a lot of times. In that way idk if I feel uncomfortable or offended, I rather have people say 'I knew you were gay' thing, since yes I am, 'different' sounds like there is something wrong with me :o :lol:
Try to tell yourself it's good to be different, we all are different :D
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Postby Jesper » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:33 am

ArmyOfMe wrote:
Jesper wrote:I am still in a phase where I explore things for the first time, since I only came out a year ago, and I am almost 25 now lol, I still have to get used to the fact that when people you know find out or you tell them you are gay that you get that 'I always thought you were different, but couldn't put my finger on it' conversation, or atleast that is the conversation I had a lot of times. In that way idk if I feel uncomfortable or offended, I rather have people say 'I knew you were gay' thing, since yes I am, 'different' sounds like there is something wrong with me :o :lol:
Try to tell yourself it's good to be different, we all are different :D
True, I might just get used to it :lol: :)
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Postby ThaInfo1 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 5:19 pm

Jesper wrote:I am still in a phase where I explore things for the first time, since I only came out a year ago, and I am almost 25 now lol, I still have to get used to the fact that when people you know find out or you tell them you are gay that you get that 'I always thought you were different, but couldn't put my finger on it' conversation, or atleast that is the conversation I had a lot of times. In that way idk if I feel uncomfortable or offended, I rather have people say 'I knew you were gay' thing, since yes I am, 'different' sounds like there is something wrong with me :o :lol:
I feel this to the core sis.

I recently came out to my sister at 24 and she was like "she always knew" blah blah blah :lol: . She cool with it and all, wants to know more about my life and all the good stuff (unlike how it was with my mom years ago when I was 17). But yeah...that convo is kinda odd. I'm not looking forward to more but with some close friends of mind that don't know (and I have some that do) I feel it coming. :roll:
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Postby Jesper » Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:49 pm

ThaInfo1 wrote:
Jesper wrote:I am still in a phase where I explore things for the first time, since I only came out a year ago, and I am almost 25 now lol, I still have to get used to the fact that when people you know find out or you tell them you are gay that you get that 'I always thought you were different, but couldn't put my finger on it' conversation, or atleast that is the conversation I had a lot of times. In that way idk if I feel uncomfortable or offended, I rather have people say 'I knew you were gay' thing, since yes I am, 'different' sounds like there is something wrong with me :o :lol:
I feel this to the core sis.

I recently came out to my sister at 24 and she was like "she always knew" blah blah blah :lol: . She cool with it and all, wants to know more about my life and all the good stuff (unlike how it was with my mom years ago when I was 17). But yeah...that convo is kinda odd. I'm not looking forward to more but with some close friends of mind that don't know (and I have some that do) I feel it coming. :roll:
The funniest part is when people say 'it doesn't matter, you can be who you are...' and then some ask some of those slightly judgy and weird questions, while they don't know how odd they sound :lol:
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Postby biscuits » Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:55 pm

My best friend still doesn’t get it. She acts like she’s cool with me being ghey and I believe she is, but she still has outdated views and thoughts.

For example, if she ever comes across another ghey guy, she tries to set him up with me, even though I live far away. And she still uses ‘ghey’ as an insult for her other friends - ‘omg, you guys are so ghey’. Last week, two of her straight male friends were grinding on each other in a fun, drunk way and she uploaded a video with the caption ‘I would hate to be related to either of these homos’ or something like that.

I decided to confront her about it because she cane to visit me in Tokyo a few days later, and she said she was a bit bothered that it offended me but also claims she’s only ever joking, which she probably is.

But as I said, she’s still got work to do in opening her mind and realising it is not cool to use ‘ghey’ in a derogatory way or the notion that all ghey guts wanna hook up just cos of their sexuality
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Postby Loose » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:26 pm

I haven't been to clubs or gay bars for ages. :oops:
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Postby RayRay » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:28 pm

biscuits wrote:My best friend still doesn’t get it. She acts like she’s cool with me being ghey and I believe she is, but she still has outdated views and thoughts.

For example, if she ever comes across another ghey guy, she tries to set him up with me, even though I live far away. And she still uses ‘ghey’ as an insult for her other friends - ‘omg, you guys are so ghey’. Last week, two of her straight male friends were grinding on each other in a fun, drunk way and she uploaded a video with the caption ‘I would hate to be related to either of these homos’ or something like that.

I decided to confront her about it because she cane to visit me in Tokyo a few days later, and she said she was a bit bothered that it offended me but also claims she’s only ever joking, which she probably is.

But as I said, she’s still got work to do in opening her mind and realising it is not cool to use ‘ghey’ in a derogatory way or the notion that all ghey guts wanna hook up just cos of their sexuality
I had someone on my Facebook making such remarks. I post a short remark underneath saying it was not funny. But instead of apologizing or explaining himself, he deleted the command. However, he kept on posting "funny" jokes about gays. So I deleted him.
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Postby RayRay » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:30 pm

Last year, one of the kids in my class said she thought it was very special to have a gay teacher.
I asked her why. She said: "Not many children can say they have a gay teacher, so it's special. And I like special."
Kids can be so sweet. :-)
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Postby Jesper » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:30 pm

yeah people trying to set you up with every random other gay guy is also something that I keep finding odd, even when you try to explain the obvious that also not every straight man is gonna fall in love with any random straight woman doesn't seem to be understandable or straight men who think you are friendly towards them because you are on this world to 'convert' them :lol:
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Postby biscuits » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:34 pm

I’ve never been to a ghey club with that friend and I never want to. She would just be grossed out and uploading videos on snapchat
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Postby BhiveDiva » Mon Jan 15, 2018 1:00 pm

It's so difficult to deal with straight man friends. They really don't realize how offensive they can be sometimes. One of my biggest friends is a defender of a Brazilian's version of Donald Trump here in Brazil (Jair Bolsonaro). I'm pissed with this. How can he support a man who want my banishment of the society? :roll:
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Postby Erotica » Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:57 pm

I have never in my life been in a gay location
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Postby Serby » Mon Jan 15, 2018 5:27 pm

I think that thig when we get paired up with whomever just cuz they are gay happenes with many of the minorities (blacks living in mostly white enviroment etc).

I decided to take it slowly and not get mad at such things as everyone takes time and it's not fair to expect from people to understand and do everything right. Ofc there are some lines to not be crossed, but most of the imes it's not meant in harmful/offensive way.
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Postby Serby » Mon Jan 15, 2018 5:28 pm

If alone, I only ever go to gay places and an odd 'normal' party, unless I'm with few friends, then I can go wherever.
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Postby ArmyOfMe » Mon Jan 15, 2018 5:46 pm

Serby wrote:I think that thig when we get paired up with whomever just cuz they are gay happenes with many of the minorities (blacks living in mostly white enviroment etc).
Well, I feel like a dog when they do that, tbh. I managed to educate my straight friends, thankfully.
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Postby BehindBreakaway » Mon Jan 15, 2018 5:52 pm

RayRay wrote:Last year, one of the kids in my class said she thought it was very special to have a gay teacher.
I asked her why. She said: "Not many children can say they have a gay teacher, so it's special. And I like special."
Kids can be so sweet. :-)
Kids today are mostly accepting. I remember my sister telling my nieces I was gay and the conversation went exactly like this

Sister : you know uncle Steven. Well he's gay.
Nieces : what does that mean
Sister: well it means he likes boys and not girls
Nieces: OK. Can we have a biscuit please

That was a good few years ago. Now they obviously have 2 uncles and their friends are always inquisitive about it. It's sweet.
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Postby RayRay » Mon Jan 15, 2018 6:31 pm

BehindBreakaway wrote:
RayRay wrote:Last year, one of the kids in my class said she thought it was very special to have a gay teacher.
I asked her why. She said: "Not many children can say they have a gay teacher, so it's special. And I like special."
Kids can be so sweet. :-)
Kids today are mostly accepting. I remember my sister telling my nieces I was gay and the conversation went exactly like this

Sister : you know uncle Steven. Well he's gay.
Nieces : what does that mean
Sister: well it means he likes boys and not girls
Nieces: OK. Can we have a biscuit please

That was a good few years ago. Now they obviously have 2 uncles and their friends are always inquisitive about it. It's sweet.
Sweet!

When I was teaching 4 year olds and told them I would marry my boyfriend, one boy said: "And I'm gonna marry my mother. " :lol:
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Postby MusicRecords » Mon Jan 15, 2018 7:53 pm

ArmyOfMe wrote:
Serby wrote:I think that thig when we get paired up with whomever just cuz they are gay happenes with many of the minorities (blacks living in mostly white enviroment etc).
Well, I feel like a dog when they do that, tbh. I managed to educate my straight friends, thankfully.
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Postby Fan » Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:05 pm

BhiveDiva wrote:It's so difficult to deal with straight man friends. They really don't realize how offensive they can be sometimes. One of my biggest friends is a defender of a Brazilian's version of Donald Trump here in Brazil (Jair Bolsonaro). I'm pissed with this. How can he support a man who want my banishment of the society? :roll:
I think it really depends on the person and situation. I have male straight friends who are more sensative and thoughtful about LGBT-issues compared to most gay people I know.
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Postby BehindBreakaway » Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:07 pm

RayRay wrote:
BehindBreakaway wrote:Just make sure you're ready. Don't do it because you feel like you have too do it when you're comfortable. I wasn't ready to come out, but my mum found out and threw me out. It was a rough time. She was OK over time, but I would have chosen to do it when I was ready too. Good luck whatever you decide to do x
Awful how your mother treated you.
How do you get along after enduring the pain she caused?
Only seen this now, my mum likes to think she's accepting now. She likes my husband but I know there's a part of her that's still disappointed.
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Postby ArmyOfMe » Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:07 pm

MusicRecords wrote:
ArmyOfMe wrote:
Serby wrote:I think that thig when we get paired up with whomever just cuz they are gay happenes with many of the minorities (blacks living in mostly white enviroment etc).
Well, I feel like a dog when they do that, tbh. I managed to educate my straight friends, thankfully.
Well you are a b**ch sometimes so...

Jk jk :lol: :lol:
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Postby RayRay » Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:59 pm

BehindBreakaway wrote:
RayRay wrote:
BehindBreakaway wrote:Just make sure you're ready. Don't do it because you feel like you have too do it when you're comfortable. I wasn't ready to come out, but my mum found out and threw me out. It was a rough time. She was OK over time, but I would have chosen to do it when I was ready too. Good luck whatever you decide to do x
Awful how your mother treated you.
How do you get along after enduring the pain she caused?
Only seen this now, my mum likes to think she's accepting now. She likes my husband but I know there's a part of her that's still disappointed.
What about you? How do you feel?
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Postby BehindBreakaway » Mon Jan 15, 2018 9:29 pm

RayRay wrote:
BehindBreakaway wrote:
RayRay wrote:
BehindBreakaway wrote:Just make sure you're ready. Don't do it because you feel like you have too do it when you're comfortable. I wasn't ready to come out, but my mum found out and threw me out. It was a rough time. She was OK over time, but I would have chosen to do it when I was ready too. Good luck whatever you decide to do x
Awful how your mother treated you.
How do you get along after enduring the pain she caused?
Only seen this now, my mum likes to think she's accepting now. She likes my husband but I know there's a part of her that's still disappointed.
What about you? How do you feel?
A bit sad I suppose. It stops me from being really happy because I know I'm a disappointment. My dad was a lot more accepting when he was alive. My mum doesn't like talking about it and kept me from telling my grandfather for so long even though my nanny knew. My granda knows now and doesn't care. He's even met my husband. It's all because my mum's ashamed.

Wow. That got a bit deep. I apologise haha
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Postby BlueScorpion » Tue Jan 16, 2018 1:01 am

^ Don't feel like a disappointment. You are who you are. You love and are loved by your husband so should you trade that for something else just to please someone else? If anyone has a problem that person is not you. :)
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Postby BehindBreakaway » Tue Jan 16, 2018 3:16 am

BlueScorpion wrote:^ Don't feel like a disappointment. You are who you are. You love and are loved by your husband so should you trade that for something else just to please someone else? If anyone has a problem that person is not you. :)
Aww that's very sweet of you. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
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