Friendship / best friends

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Postby JSparksFan » Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:03 pm

Interesting that this thread was both started and resurrected around Christmastime. To answer KokoCollino's questions in the OP:

Are you happy and satisfied with your circle of friends?
I don't know if I have enough friends to form an actual circle. :lol: But I am happy that I have at least one close friend who I'm comfortable enough to share pretty much everything with, even if this was a friendship forged online.

How did friendship change for you over the years?
I think as a student in elementary, middle, and high school, most of the friendships I had were borne out of just being in close proximity with people for seven hours each weekday, as opposed to a genuine connection. Even in college, most were formed through group projects, and kinda fizzled out as we went on to different classes. And at work, I think it's more of a survival situation, like in the Hunger Games, where you find a group of people to go through a terrible experience with, and you guys help to keep each other alive. :lol:

Are there any challenges you want to share with us?
Being gay in a homophobic society is probably the biggest barrier to me making friendships. I think I had some close friends in high school, but when I came to terms with my sexuality around 2011 and realised that these friendships would probably die a quick death when I came out, I think I decided to just let them die a slow, drawn out death instead. Beyond that, though, I suck at friendship maintenance - I'm not great with regular communication. :oops:

In re-reading what I wrote above, it sounds rather depressing, but I don't really 'feel' the friend deficiency as much because I'm super close to my sister (even though she routinely annoys/frustrates me), fairly close with two of my cousins, and I have a few friends online that are pretty awesome, too.
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Postby Goldmoney » Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:54 pm

Benny wrote:
Tansike wrote:
biscuits wrote:As gheys, I think we are lucky to have apps like Grindr and ghey clubs to meet people and find friends.
Hmm I don't think most gheys are looking for friends on Grindr or in ghey clubs though. At least that's not what I experienced.
I agree with Tansike. Grindr or the ghey club scene are hardly known for finding true friends.
I concur, I go for the bodies
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Postby aRat » Thu Dec 06, 2018 7:50 pm

Grindr is just for sexdates
Ghey Clubs are for partying and grinding on other gheys and can lead to a sex date afterwards
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Postby MusicRecords » Thu Dec 06, 2018 8:04 pm

Tansike wrote:
biscuits wrote:As gheys, I think we are lucky to have apps like Grindr and ghey clubs to meet people and find friends.
Hmm I don't think most gheys are looking for friends on Grindr or in ghey clubs though. At least that's not what I experienced.
+1 :lol:

Sorry biscuits but that sounds kinda sad.....go out and meet people, the old reliable way 8-)
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Postby ThaInfo1 » Thu Dec 06, 2018 8:29 pm

Goldmoney wrote:
Benny wrote:
Tansike wrote:
biscuits wrote:As gheys, I think we are lucky to have apps like Grindr and ghey clubs to meet people and find friends.
Hmm I don't think most gheys are looking for friends on Grindr or in ghey clubs though. At least that's not what I experienced.
I agree with Tansike. Grindr or the ghey club scene are hardly known for finding true friends.
I concur, I go for the bodies
WHORES.

I've met one of my best friends from jack'd :lol: we may have had a little face time secks at first but that's my ride or die now
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Postby Serby » Fri Dec 07, 2018 12:27 am

One of my besties is a guy I met drunk af at a gay party. :lol:
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Postby Loose » Fri Dec 07, 2018 1:52 pm

Grindr is a seriously sh*t place to look for friends or it may take a few years to sort out the ones who definitely don’t fit the expectations.

My „lifetime“-friends I met in high school or any kind of institutions where like-minded people meet. University/school is a great place to engage with people of same interest who you want to be around with and share visions/ideas. I‘d say I got 90% of my friends from past school experiences and 10% from other circumstances.

My best male friend Andy I‘ve been to high school with from 2001-2008. Even though we had different careers after, we didn‘t lose touch for no longer than like 4 weeks.

My best female friend Sarah I‘ve attended art school with in 2008/2009. Both having strong attractions to stories and weed, we were a great match.

Another good friend I‘ve met during my work experience as a flight attendant but that was truly an exception. I normally prefer to have friends outside my workplace but we two had such great chemistry that we even went on holidays together.
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Postby Benny » Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:44 pm

Do you gheys have straight male friends? I have a very good male friend who is straight but until now he doesn't know that I'm not. I know everybody always says 'if he is a true friend then he will accept you for what you are' etc. but I'm pretty sure that our friendship would not survive if I came out to him.
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Postby Loose » Fri Dec 07, 2018 4:23 pm

Benny wrote:Do you gheys have straight male friends?
Of course!

I don’t see the specialty about it.

I actually have the ‚other‘ problem. I don’t have many gay friends.
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Postby bluecherry » Fri Dec 07, 2018 4:44 pm

I have... no close straight male friends. I have straight male acquaintances.
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Postby Goldmoney » Fri Dec 07, 2018 5:30 pm

Benny wrote:Do you gheys have straight male friends?
Yes, plenty of them. Although most of them know I’m ghey and accept it, we don’t really ever discuss any ghey topics and I almost get treated like I’m straight myself which is... bizarre. Sometimes I have to remind some of them that I’m ghey so they are reminded what they’re in store for. :lol:
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Postby Benny » Fri Dec 07, 2018 6:09 pm

Loose & Gmoney, great for you guys! I'm always a bit reserved among straight men, something I developed in school due to bad experiences. It's a habit I can't shake off, despite the fact that school was a long time ago.
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Postby Loose » Fri Dec 07, 2018 6:13 pm

Well, it depends on what your expectations are. Male friendships rarely contain big amounts of juicy gossips but are rich in action and mostly take place on wine tasting events.

You‘ll get the right friends matching your lifestyle choices and preferences. Whether if they‘re straight men, gay men, gay women, unicorns etc.
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Postby DOSSOME » Fri Dec 07, 2018 6:35 pm

My best friend's gay and I'm Bi, we've been hiding it from each other for decades until a little over 2 yrs ago. Weird :lol:
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Postby Erotica » Fri Dec 07, 2018 8:04 pm

Benny wrote:Do you gheys have straight male friends? I have a very good male friend who is straight but until now he doesn't know that I'm not. I know everybody always says 'if he is a true friend then he will accept you for what you are' etc. but I'm pretty sure that our friendship would not survive if I came out to him.
I never had any gay friends so yes ^^
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Postby Carbon » Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:03 am

I have a str8 guy friend who’s cool about me being ghey, we can even talk about more intimate secksual things and there’s no awkwardness and whatnot. But we don’t live in the same city and aren’t that close, mostly a few drinks per year where we catch up on everything.

It’s hard for me to be friends with str8 people, I think the only reason I have this one is because we sat together on every lesson in high school :lol:
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Postby Goldmoney » Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:40 am

At work, I’m surrounded by hot straight guys all day long. :cry:
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Postby aRat » Sat Dec 08, 2018 1:38 am

Goldmoney wrote:At work, I’m surrounded by hot straight guys all day long. :cry:
Thanks bro.
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Postby Goldmoney » Sat Dec 08, 2018 1:44 am

aRat wrote:
Goldmoney wrote:At work, I’m surrounded by hot straight guys all day long. :cry:
Thanks bro.
No problem dude.
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Postby Benny » Sat Dec 08, 2018 11:19 am

Goldmoney wrote:At work, I’m surrounded by hot straight guys all day long. :cry:
That must be torture, like a diabetic working in a candy store. :cry:
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Postby thankfulforkelly » Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:24 pm

I have a lot of gay male friends but no straight ones. I just find straight guys are usually awkward and I tend not to have much in common with them
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Postby Benny » Sat Dec 08, 2018 2:47 pm

thankfulforkelly wrote:I just find straight guys are usually awkward and I tend not to have much in common with them
That's a problem I have as well, they mainly talk about sports, often also about cars, stuff that doesn't interest me.
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Postby MusicRecords » Sat Dec 08, 2018 5:22 pm

As a bi guy I have both, gay and straight, and it's cool because with some I can talk about d*ck and with others I can talk about pus*y and be totally into it :lol: :lol: :oops:
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Postby aRat » Sat Dec 08, 2018 5:35 pm

MusicRecords wrote:As a bi guy I have both, gay and straight, and it's cool because with some I can talk about d*ck and with others I can talk about pus*y and be totally into it :lol: :lol: :oops:
It's interesting how str8 guys can talk freely about p***y, sex and t*ts with other guys but they get really shy when these things are mentioned when girls are present.

I have seen this phenomenon all the time.
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Postby Loose » Sat Dec 08, 2018 5:38 pm

aRat wrote:
MusicRecords wrote:As a bi guy I have both, gay and straight, and it's cool because with some I can talk about d*ck and with others I can talk about pus*y and be totally into it :lol: :lol: :oops:
It's interesting how str8 guys can talk freely about p***y and t*ts with other guys but they get really shy when these things are mentioned when girls are present.

I have seen this phenomenon all the time.
We rarely talk about these things.

We mainly share interests in food, jobs, saving plans, vacation, alcohol, studies, politics and cigars.

Since you can google dicks and pussys, we feel no need to discuss that.
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