I'm feeling abused, tortured, drained, hurt, and just lost.
Being a Hindu, I've been fed this truth for a large part of the last 6 years that every living entity or Jeevatma is betrothed to God, as in like Husband and Wife. Because God is the Ultimate Person and the living entity, being His/Her part, is His/Her spouse. This relationship is eternal, like how Jehovah is the Eternal Father in Heaven, and Jesus is our Eternal Friend, etc.
Suddenly however, I'm seeing signs that I alone am betrothed to God almighty, and the rest are like servants, parents, friends, and/or children of God. This is completely illogical, and beyond my understanding. Due to the Grace of my Guru (Spiritual Master), God speaks to me through the TV, Books, Music, Animals/Men/Women/Children around me, etc. etc. Suddenly, I'm being told that I'm the only one, and the most important one. I mean, it's great. It's like the biggest dream come true. I'm expecting some really great things in the future - like the stars and the moon - all for myself.
But then I look around at all the people and souls around me, and I wonder, is this really the truth? Has no one - out of the trillions of souls moving through this universe - ever attained God as Husband (Lord Krsna) and Wife (Goddess Bhuvaneshwari) in the past? Or have they, too, been fed with the same 'truth' as I'm experiencing? I can't talk to anyone about it because normal people in the world don't experience this kind of a thing. Just yesterday, I got into a scuffle over this when out with friends.
Please help. Because I know that God-realized saints are all around me, and this forum has a good battalion, too. Thanks.