How Are You Feeling?

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Postby ThaInfo1 » Mon Jan 23, 2017 2:47 pm

Things might start to get a little rough for me. I've live with my boyfriend now ( and have been for the past going on 4 months) and his mom is really sick. She got blood cancer last year and it went into remission, however now she gotten sick again (although it isn't cancer), but I guess when you get sick and have had cancer...you get sick really badly. Last night they gave him the news that her mental state was fading. I'm not really sure what all goes into that but it doesn't sound good. And he's been crying off and on this whole weekend. I'm just trying to prepare myself for the worst. But it's gonna be so hard to console someone when it's the possible death of a parent. And I know his mom too so it's hard. I'm just trying not to show my sadness in front of him about it. I cried on my way to work this morning over it. I'm hoping she pulls through. I also feel so selfish that I'm worried about how will I be able to care for him if this does happen. :cry:
'SCAPE
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Postby Storyteller » Mon Jan 23, 2017 3:00 pm

Just be there for him, like you've been doing. There isn't much you can do other than that really. Just being there for him will mean the world to him.
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Postby Colbie » Mon Jan 23, 2017 3:52 pm

Storyteller wrote:Just be there for him, like you've been doing. There isn't much you can do other than that really. Just being there for him will mean the world to him.
+1
Sad to hear that Thainfo! :-(
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Postby Phoenixx » Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:04 pm

ThaInfo1 wrote:Things might start to get a little rough for me. I've live with my boyfriend now ( and have been for the past going on 4 months) and his mom is really sick. She got blood cancer last year and it went into remission, however now she gotten sick again (although it isn't cancer), but I guess when you get sick and have had cancer...you get sick really badly. Last night they gave him the news that her mental state was fading. I'm not really sure what all goes into that but it doesn't sound good. And he's been crying off and on this whole weekend. I'm just trying to prepare myself for the worst. But it's gonna be so hard to console someone when it's the possible death of a parent. And I know his mom too so it's hard. I'm just trying not to show my sadness in front of him about it. I cried on my way to work this morning over it. I'm hoping she pulls through. I also feel so selfish that I'm worried about how will I be able to care for him if this does happen. :cry:
Hey ThaInfo.

I know through what time you and of course your boyfriend go...

My mother got a diagnose to have lymphoma cancer (I don't know how to describe it in english) on October 2011.

We were all very very down and also she was sick at this time. Firstly for her the hardest time was when she lost her hair after getting that chemo. And she ofeten talked about her death and was very very whiny and almost cried when she talked about all stuff.

In February 2012 the doctors diagnosed brain cancer, because the cancer went from Lymphatic glands to her brain. She've had hard headache. So hard that she didn't realized what she did. So anytime at night she wanted to go on toilet or somewhere and she got dizzy. After that she fell with her head straight to the heater next to the bed. My father said to me now we have to reckon with everything, EVERYTHING what's possible now...

She lost a bit eyesight but she came up and firstly won the fight against cancer in early summer.
The doctors said, the cancer will anytime come back and anytime she will die on that. They and we did not know when, maybe in 2 weeks maybe in 20 years...
So we tried to do the best for our weak mother and wife. She have had a great summer with us, our whole family, th last free summer we've got because it was the summer I begun my education. Shortly after I begun it the headache came back and she was so sick and tired that she didn't have enough force to take her medicaments. At one time our doctor visited us at home because my father won't accept that she was there. Lies at the sofa, almost no moves because of no force. The doctor was on toilet whil she became an epileptical attack. The doctor called the ambulance. At first she was at a normal hospital but almost two weeks later she came to the weakest station. Palliative station. Maybe you know what that is...
She was there a bit more than a week (First day was Friday the 19th october 2012).
On Sunday, 28th October 2012 at the morning around 9'o clock we became a call. Our mother is dead. Peacefully fell asleep..........

While going through this time I also cried often. But everytime alone. If you want to cry alone and for you that's okay. But don't do the fault and don't comfort your boyfriend. I also never did before this.

I just can say you need diversion when you have such a bad time. It always helped me. But always; ALWAYS visit his mom, at least he should do. You don't know how long you have this person in your life. If her health will come back you can say we did not do anything wrong and if she die you have took her last time with her.

Please don't fall in any depressions, I know a few who did because of this.

If you want to talk about this, feel free to send me a message.

By the way, this is the first time I told this to any person here on this forum. But now everyone know what happened back there. :cry:
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Postby JSparksFan » Tue Jan 24, 2017 3:45 am

Rob, whatever happens, I think your boyfriend will really just appreciate your presence and support. The frustrating thing with health issues is that they're sometimes beyond our abilities to remedy, and all you can do is pray and hope for the best, but steel yourself for the worst. I don't think you ever completely get over the death of a parent; the sense of loss remains forever, but you find ways to cope with it and return to your daily routine. Whatever the outcome, love him through it, and be patient with his grieving process. I'll keep you, your boyfriend, and his mom in my prayers. <3
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Postby Tansike » Tue Jan 24, 2017 3:45 pm

Colbie wrote:
Storyteller wrote:Just be there for him, like you've been doing. There isn't much you can do other than that really. Just being there for him will mean the world to him.
+1
Sad to hear that Thainfo! :-(
+2
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Postby Tansike » Tue Jan 24, 2017 4:03 pm

This is probably a bit selfish and i'm not sure if i should post it here but i'm just doing it... after all, this here is like my second home.

So... on saturday, my stomach started to hurt. Nothing crazy but it hurt more than usual. I went to bed at around half past midnight, it still hurt, but i thought maybe it's better in the morning. My bf had to go to work at 5am, so i was awake then and it hurt even more, i couldn't sleep any longer and spent basically the next four hours and a half in the toilet, because i wasn't able to lie on the bed due to the pain. The pain got even worse and i had to vomit like all 20-30 minutes, and also some other stuff... and after these four and a half times, the pain was so incredible painful that i wanted to call the ambulance. I'm afraid of these things though cause some things went wrong in the past, and since my bf is working at a hospital, i called him instead. He immediately came home, and in these 20 minutes my pain got even worse, i couldn't even walk, so when he arrived, he decided to still call the ambulance instead of taking me to the hospital with his car. So in the end, i spent the whole sunday at the hospital. And the cause for this was: Stress! I never ever thought about being stressed in my life, not at all, but they even tested my blood and all and it's clear that this was the cause.

The main problem about this is, that it's something people don't see. I feel so bad for having to talk with my boss about this now because i'm physically well. Okay, i wasn't on the weekend, but overall i am. If i would have a broken leg, then one can clearly see this, but being stressed in a way which doesn't seem to be healthy anymore is not visible. I thought everything is okay and now i have to think about like everything in my life due to something like stress? That sounds so weird and so wrong somehow. I already felt bad for having called the ambulance and being in the hospital for 'nothing', at least it felt like 'nothing', because once they gave me something at the hospital, i felt better quite fast.

Will be interesting for me to see what consequences this will have in my life...
Anyhow, i just wanted to write this. Maybe i also have to think about taking a step backwards from UKMix. Who knows.
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Postby Phoenixx » Tue Jan 24, 2017 6:02 pm

Tansike wrote:This is probably a bit selfish and i'm not sure if i should post it here but i'm just doing it... after all, this here is like my second home.

So... on saturday, my stomach started to hurt. Nothing crazy but it hurt more than usual. I went to bed at around half past midnight, it still hurt, but i thought maybe it's better in the morning. My bf had to go to work at 5am, so i was awake then and it hurt even more, i couldn't sleep any longer and spent basically the next four hours and a half in the toilet, because i wasn't able to lie on the bed due to the pain. The pain got even worse and i had to vomit like all 20-30 minutes, and also some other stuff... and after these four and a half times, the pain was so incredible painful that i wanted to call the ambulance. I'm afraid of these things though cause some things went wrong in the past, and since my bf is working at a hospital, i called him instead. He immediately came home, and in these 20 minutes my pain got even worse, i couldn't even walk, so when he arrived, he decided to still call the ambulance instead of taking me to the hospital with his car. So in the end, i spent the whole sunday at the hospital. And the cause for this was: Stress! I never ever thought about being stressed in my life, not at all, but they even tested my blood and all and it's clear that this was the cause.

The main problem about this is, that it's something people don't see. I feel so bad for having to talk with my boss about this now because i'm physically well. Okay, i wasn't on the weekend, but overall i am. If i would have a broken leg, then one can clearly see this, but being stressed in a way which doesn't seem to be healthy anymore is not visible. I thought everything is okay and now i have to think about like everything in my life due to something like stress? That sounds so weird and so wrong somehow. I already felt bad for having called the ambulance and being in the hospital for 'nothing', at least it felt like 'nothing', because once they gave me something at the hospital, i felt better quite fast.

Will be interesting for me to see what consequences this will have in my life...
Anyhow, i just wanted to write this. Maybe i also have to think about taking a step backwards from UKMix. Who knows.
So you want to tell us, you're stressed amongst other things from UkMix?

I know you've had a bit stress in the past, at least from you PMs. But from what are you so stressed? :cry:
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Postby Tansike » Tue Jan 24, 2017 6:21 pm

^ just replied to your message :wink:
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Postby Colbie » Tue Jan 24, 2017 6:37 pm

@Tansike It's good you typed this, aint selfish at all!!
Ukmix is a home, and i love how we are there for each other!

Hope things will get better, and less stressful for you!
Like you said, you can't see it, so it's difficult when to take a step back.
Hope you will learn how to deal with it, how to have less stress, figure out where it comes from!
And please don't feel quilty or bad to write things down like you did, it can deffinitely help! ;-)
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Postby Crackiswack » Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:13 pm

Pheonixx your story :cry: :cry: :cry:
I'm so sorry to hear that, reading this was extremely saddening
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Postby Tansike » Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:24 pm

Thank you for the nice words, Colbie! :)
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Postby nas4life123 » Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:42 pm

this year i plan on putting myself first over anyone else, and taking care of my mind, body, and health before anyone else.

and Taniske - i hope things get better and the stresses of life fade away!
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Postby Phoenixx » Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:44 pm

Crackiswack wrote:Pheonixx your story :cry: :cry: :cry:
I'm so sorry to hear that, reading this was extremely saddening
:-?
You don't need to be sad about that, but thank you very much <3
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Postby ThaInfo1 » Wed Jan 25, 2017 3:17 pm

Thank you all for the kind words (and the story, Pheonixx). I love and appreciate you all.

I've been better, it was just then I guess everything has hit me. He doesn't like talking about it but whenever he decides, I just listen and comfort him because there isn't anything I can say to really make him feel better. He informed me that he's been kinda preparing for her death every since she first got diagnosed and in an odd way, that made me feel better that he was trying to mentally prepare himself for the worse.
'SCAPE
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Postby Phoenixx » Wed Jan 25, 2017 3:37 pm

ThaInfo1 wrote:Thank you all for the kind words (and the story, Pheonixx). I love and appreciate you all.

I've been better, it was just then I guess everything has hit me. He doesn't like talking about it but whenever he decides, I just listen and comfort him because there isn't anything I can say to really make him feel better. He informed me that he's been kinda preparing for her death every since she first got diagnosed and in an odd way, that made me feel better that he was trying to mentally prepare himself for the worse.
That is good. He should take his time with her whenver he can. That's good for both. Even when she's more or less unconscious. She also feel that. I know!
But he should don't make himself down. that depress yourself
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Postby Tansike » Tue Feb 07, 2017 12:49 pm

Back from jogging... was the first time i went jogging since a year or so. I'm feeling half happy and good but also half dead :lol:
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Postby Phoenixx » Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:14 pm

Happy
Happy
Happy
Happy

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof :lol:
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Postby Phoenixx » Tue Feb 14, 2017 11:44 pm

Iam so happy that I choose my new work where I get less money but better conditions! Everyday I love to go to work, I work more hours that I should and love to do that. AND: My physical state is so much better as it was when I worked on my last company! :)
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Postby Rihab » Wed Feb 15, 2017 2:10 am

Must be love on the brain. <3
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Postby Phoenixx » Wed Feb 15, 2017 2:44 am

Rihab wrote:Must be love on the brain. <3
8-) :D
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Postby Crackiswack » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:12 am

Like shit. Like usual
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Postby Crackiswack » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:18 am

I wanna punch someone and then cry
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Postby Crackiswack » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:19 am

I was about to cuss myself out but now I don't wanna have a self pit party :lol:
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Postby Crackiswack » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:25 am

But I gotta have one :oops:

I am such a fùckin tool, I just wrench parts from people and I don't take it back. I'm such an entitled person that thinks I deserve everything just because I at some point had nothing. But I'm not working to get what I really want. I have to really push myself to do basic stuff, I'm such a bum that doesn't want to do shit. And then I get to the question "what do I really want?" Well if I think about it, all the things I'm doing is for me to get what I want but will never get!!!

I just wish that I could split from this body, beat myself up, and then that would motivate me.
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