trebor's Pulse Country Update 100 - 2016 in Country Music

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Postby trebor » Wed Nov 30, 2016 2:03 pm

trebor's Pulse Country Update 100 - 2016 in Country Music

A journey from Oregon Alternative hipsterdom and SoCal vibes to Idaho Christian; on through the Colorado Rockies, Lonestar's own music headlock via Southern and Dirt to Music City Tennessee and Appalachian Bluegrass. All along taking aboard all unsigned artists, US and worldwide and their unique brand of sounds and artistry.

The only place where NashPop's own Muppet show clashes with Alternative and Americana realness.
Big Machine, Sony, Universal and Warner beware: You're going to be grilled good!

Coming soon to a Barn & Grill near you!
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Postby trebor » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:49 pm

The Good (NOT!), The Bad and The Ugly
The 40 worst "Country" Singles of 2016

How does it work?
Time frame: Billboard Year (December 2015 - November 2016)
Songs must have charted on the Billboard Airplay Top 60 chart. Excluded are album tracks, novelty songs like Bobby Bones & The Raging Idiots (Says it all!), unsolicited pop/rock crossovers and holiday releases.
Considered are all songs that peaked during the eligibility period or are Top 20 on the November 26, 2016 cut-off Billboard chart and older than 10 weeks.
The song with the highest peak discrepancy in between the official chart and my own chart gets crowned: Worst Song Of The Year!

So the annual NashPop circus is in town, let's roll in all the Clowns!

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Full countdown with commentary will follow here! Stay tuned! :wink:
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Postby Magnus » Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:20 pm

I'll definitely be following this thread! Not sure I'll check out any of those "40 worst" singles though...
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Postby trebor » Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:38 pm

Magnus wrote:I'll definitely be following this thread! Not sure I'll check out any of those "40 worst" singles though...
Cool! Thank you, Magnus.
Good idea to skip this list :wink: , you definitely won't like it and get a cardiac arrest... 8-) :lol:
Please mind my mean comments...
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Postby trebor » Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:52 pm

This is a sarcastic, (partly) amusing, but also slanderous and offensive review.
Please leave your political correctness at the saloon door

Part 1: Buffoons, Wannabes and Trickery Masters

40 - Smoke Break Carrie Underwood - 19 | Arista Nashville
The usual belching, over-the-top production and that touchy subject which may rise brows in the Corn Belt. She's trying way too much and I don't buy it. Nothing what I would normally be listening to. Went to #1 at Mediabase and #2 at Billboard
39 - From The Ground Up Dan + Shay - Warner Bros. | WAR
This is so full of clichés and so über sweet you'll probably get diabetes. It goes without saying that this hit #1 on both airplay charts; They wear the skinniest jeans in town; hence the high notes. #ButtBuddies #NotCountry
38 - You Make It Look So Good Thompson Square - Stoney Creek
This is not bad per se but it's not anywhere as good as the general expectations. It's not unique and tends to be really boring. This song went to #47 at Billboard and #46 at Mediabase
37 - Southernality A Thousand Horses - Republic Nashville
Generic, bleached, soft rock attempt with Country undertones. Most disposable act; Faceless, pale and totally unnecessary. Was met with heavy radio resistance and only went to #57 on both charts
36 - Top Of The World Tim McGraw - McGraw | Big Machine
It's always hit or miss with Tim McGraw. He delivers the best (because his status allows him to do true genre) but also such boring and unmemorable tunes like this. Billboard #6 and Mediabase #5.
35 - Pain Killer Little Big Town - Capitol Nashville
Along with "Day Drinking" this is the most annoying track from their "Pain Killer" album. Reggae and Tropical Island fever; please give me a break. #36 Mediabase and #38 Billboard. Next, please.#NotCountry
34 - High Class Eric Paslay - EMI Nashville
Inglorious attempt to jump on the R&B/Funk band wagon. Sounded nice at the beginning but burnt too fast. EMI managed to keep this afloat for 29 straight weeks on Mediabase while only reaching #31 (out of a Top 50) (Billboard #32) #NotCountry
33 - Heartbreak Song Mickey Guyton - Capitol Nashville
Underwhelming comeback single. Would have needed a miracle to do well; it's way too convenient to blame the chart congestion at the charting time. Nice but utterly uninteresting. Billboard #45 and Mediabase #49
32 - Faint Of The Heart Sister C - Sister C
Well, this song shouldn't be listed here as it's not a bad song. But by spending only one week at #60 and floating into oblivion on mine, it got an (undeserved) negative score (Mediabase #71)
31 - Said No One Ever Jana Kramer - Elektra Nashville | WAR
Catchy and all with a very colourful video to go with: Basically annoying as F*. If you're not a twelve year old girl, this is not for you. Billboard and Mediabase #57
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Postby Tansike » Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:58 pm

Oh thank god Carrie's song is only #40 :lol:
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Postby trebor » Wed Nov 30, 2016 7:17 pm

Tansike wrote:Oh thank god Carrie's song is only #40 :lol:
:lol: :lol: #TheShade
You should have known... 8-) She's also at #30... :lol: :lol:
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Postby Magnus » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:10 pm

Oops, guess I'm a twelve year old girl then :lol:. Must've registered my UKMIX account right at birth.
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Postby trebor » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:16 pm

Magnus wrote:Oops, guess I'm a twelve year old girl then :lol:
:oops: I obviously meant it in an affectionate way (Totally forgot you enjoyed this song) #Sorry
It's probably best you skipped this segment (Warning: Cassadee, Maren & Kelsea are all still to show up) 8-)
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Postby Tansike » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:24 pm

trebor wrote:
Tansike wrote:Oh thank god Carrie's song is only #40 :lol:
:lol: :lol: #TheShade
You should have known... 8-) She's also at #30... :lol: :lol:
Ohhh :lol: But that must be "Dirty Laundry" or "Heartbeat" then, as i still remember that "Church Bells" did quite well on your weekly updates. Hopefully that one will be on your 'best of' list :P

Anyway, i'm definitely following this, even if i'm not that familiar with most of the country stuff. I'm afraid i'll know (and like) more from the worst country singles list than from the other. But i'll definitely check out some stuff from the proper list.
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Postby Magnus » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:26 pm

trebor wrote:
Magnus wrote:Oops, guess I'm a twelve year old girl then :lol:
:oops: I obviously meant it in an affectionate way (Totally forgot you enjoyed this song) #Sorry
It's probably best you skipped this segment (Warning: Cassadee, Maren & Kelsea are all still to show up) 8-)
No problem, I did notice the first line of the post and I actually had a good laugh about it!

I can understand Cassadee and Kelsea, surprised at Maren though.
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Postby JSparksFan » Thu Dec 01, 2016 12:19 am

Carrie doesn't deserve to be on any worst list. #justice4underwood
"The goal is not to live forever; the goal is to create something that will."

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Postby trebor » Thu Dec 01, 2016 1:31 pm

Tansike wrote:Ohhh :lol: But that must be "Dirty Laundry" or "Heartbeat" then, as i still remember that "Church Bells" did quite well on your weekly updates. Hopefully that one will be on your 'best of' list :P
It's "Heartbeat" that falls out of favour. "Church Bells" misses the Top 100 by a very low margin! "Dirty Laundry" has a split chart run (2016/2017) and is outside of the Top 200.

Magnus wrote:No problem, I did notice the first line of the post and I actually had a good laugh about it!
I can understand Cassadee and Kelsea, surprised at Maren though.
:lol: Maren will be duly explained (in my way... 8-) )

JSparksFan wrote:Carrie doesn't deserve to be on any worst list. #justice4underwood
Don't let the fan in you take over! :wink: I criticize some of her musical output and not the artist.

Thanks y'all for commenting! :D
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Postby trebor » Thu Dec 01, 2016 1:45 pm

This is a sarcastic, (partly) amusing, but also slanderous and offensive review.
Please leave your political correctness at the saloon door

Part 2: Sideshows, Single Attractions and Nine Day Wonders

30 - Heartbeat Carrie Underwood - 19 | Arista Nashville
Zzzz. This song is just... there. Perfect radio fodder that appeals to the vast majority of the general public. Bores me to death! #1 on both Billboard and Mediabase
29 - Break On Me. Keith Urban - Hit Red | Capitol Nashville
Never heard of this? Good on you! Forgettable and sleep inducing something of a song which is already forgotten and buried. Went to #1 on both charts.
28 - Tuxedo Clare Dunn - MCA Nashville
Ever wondered what female Bro-Country sounds like? Here it is. Repetitive, most annoying chorus ever, cringeworthy lyrics. Billboard #51 and #50 Mediabase (Not consecutive on four different instances! :o )
27 - (This Ain't No) Drunk Dial A Thousand Horses - Big Machine
Second single and more of their fluff MOR sound. Nothing reedeming about this one. Although BMLG fought like a lion to keep this going it (deservedly) peaked at Billboard #23 and Mediabase #22
26 - Real Men Love Jesus Michael Ray - Atlantic | WEA
This song is so wrong on so many levels. Outdated views and concept; and filler music from a disposable artist fresh from an undeserved #1 single. Peaked at #17 on both charts
25 - I Like The Sound Of That Rascal Flatts - Big Machine
This is so bland and Gary's voice is especially irking. What is this all about, anyway? Huge #1 (tooke them 32 weeks to get there)
24 - Dance With Ya Drew Baldridge - THIS Music | Cold River
This is frankly the worst! Another R&B/Funk travesty. Embarrassing chorus and the video is hideous. Mediabase #42 and Billboard #48 (23 weeks!!!!) #NotCountry
23 - Summer Cassadee Pope - Republic Nashville // BMLG
Sounds like a hundred other songs. Nothing special about it. Teenage lyrics and probably a hit at Disney Country. Lots of smoke and no fire. Billboard & Mediabase #55
22 - SnapBack Old Dominion - RCA Nashville
Created a new word: "Snapback". Borderline Country and the most appalling lyrics ever. Dull mainstream fare. #2 at both Billboard & Mediabase
21 - Drink You Away Justin Timberlake - RCA
Self explanatory! Wasn't the brightest idea to send this to Country radio, although it managed to spend one sole week at #60 on Billboard. Mediabase #66. #NotCountry
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Postby JSparksFan » Fri Dec 02, 2016 2:54 am

I see where you're coming from with the "Heartbeat" critique. The song comes from a sweet place, but it is a bit lifeless. "Drink You Away" is nice.
"The goal is not to live forever; the goal is to create something that will."

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Postby trebor » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:07 am

^^ Thanks for commenting! :D
Last edited by trebor on Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby trebor » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:14 am

This is a sarcastic, (partly) amusing, but also slanderous and offensive review.
Please leave your political correctness at the saloon door

Part 3: Jugglers, Imposters, and the disinherited

20 - Blue Ain't Your Color Keith Urban - Hit Red | Capitol Nashville
What a borefest! This is neither fish nor flesh as it takes on three distinctive genres and blends all in a highly polished mono-genre type of sound. I understand that this is a huge hit; it's probably ranked too high here as it's still climbing the chart and most certainly will not make the Worst 2017 list. Still, the guitar is used nicely but I'm pretty unbothered. Still charting
19 - Rock On Tucker Beathard - Dot
Lazy composition and boring AF. Horrible twang, and generally lacks balls, power and edge. How on earth did this go to #2 on both charts?
18 - 80's Mercedes Maren Morris - Columbia Nashville
Thumping beats and a 100% pop song. Completeley repetitive; and an appalling lack of respect to Country legacy. Still charting. #NotCountry
17 - If The Boot Fits Granger Smith - Wheelhouse
See comments for Tucker Beathard. Shame as Granger was once seen as the next Texas big thing. Still charting
16 - My Girl Dylan Scott - Curb
Boring, boring track that sounds exactly like a mash-up of some of his previous songs. How is this becoming his biggest hit. PS: Don't rap on country songs unless it's narration. Has some country instrumentation that gets a nod. Still charting
15 - Think A Little Less Michael Ray - Atlantic | WEA
Disposable composition wiht horrible lyrics. At least it sounds like contemporary country. Not for me. Still charting
14 - Peter Pan Kelsea Ballerini - Black River
Probably the best of her singles. Way too pop and generally a turn-off if you're not the target demographic. Instant radio channel changer. #1 on both charts
13 - Comeback Kid The Band Perry - Interscope | Mercury
Decently country sounding. The three chorus lines just don't work and the lyrics don't really help. It's too repetitive and uninteresting. #39 on both charts
12 - I Know Somebody LoCash - Revive | Reviver
I'm at a loss here. Is this even a song? Below average in every aspect possible. Went to #1 on both charts (How is this even remotely #1 material?)
11 - Song For Another Time Old Dominion - RCA Nashville
Best out of their RCA releases. Still not impressed, boring and lazy. I know they can do better than that. Geared to hit #1 on both charts
Last edited by trebor on Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Magnus » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:03 pm

Ah, you don't consider "80's Mercedes" a country song (not even a 1% country song ;)). Fair enough, that explains why it ended up in a list like this. And the same with "Peter Pan" (I agree it's her best single). I also agree that "Comeback Kid" was disappoiting (although I still like it).
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Postby trebor » Wed Dec 07, 2016 7:22 am

^^
Maren Morris: 0%! It doesn't feature any of the requisite to be considered Country (Instrumentation, storytelling, and legacy). Also, I don't really like it as a pop song. :wink: 8-)
Then again, this is just a point based list and the (negative) scores are all relatively close, so the ranking is just odds and the reflection of a moment in time.
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Postby trebor » Wed Dec 07, 2016 7:31 am

This is a sarcastic, (partly) amusing, but also slanderous and offensive review.
Please leave your political correctness at the saloon door

Part 4: Perfect Illusion: Con Artists

10 - RED, WHITE & YOU Steven Tyler - Dot
This bars any description. Billboard #46 and Mediabase #51
09 - Long Live Tonight LANco - Arista Nashville
Nice intro; but hardly genre. They have much better stuff that actually fits the format. Catchy little pop song; no more no less. Billboard #32 and Mediabase #33. NotCountry
08 - Thunder In The Rain Kane Brown - RCA Nashville
He sounds good on this record. The song itself is a dull pop hybrid. Irritating and void of any quality. Billboard #43 and Mediabase #34
07 - Love Triangle RaeLynn - Warner Bros. | WMN
Zzzz. Admittedly too high as this actually sounds Country. Not my stuff but as this song is still climbing the charts it will probably not rank in the Worst 2017. So placing due to negative score at present time. Still charting
06 - Break Up In A Small Town Sam Hunt - MCA Nashville
The worst song of 2016 falls back to #6 this year. Enough said! Billboard & Mediabase #2
05 - Dibs Kelsea Ballerini - Black River
She was already #4 in the Worst 2016 list and slips one notch. Still horrible, plain horrible, just horrible, etc. Miracously hit #1 on both charts
04 - Vacation Thomas Rhett - Valory
Fact is that I don't really dislike Thomas Rhett. This is a turd and as such always stays afloat. Billboard #30 and Mediabase #33. NotCountry
03 - Make You Miss Me Sam Hunt - MCA Nashville
#OMG! I can't even... What an abomination. Obviously #1 on both charts
02 - T-Shirt Thomas Rhett - Valory
If played on any format other than County this would be a decent song. R&B/Funk hybrid and pretty catchy. #NotCountry. Hit #1 on both charts
01 - Fix Chris Lane - Big Loud
And yet another R&B/Funk influenced song. Although it has synthetic banjo loops throughout the song this is pure pop. The falsetto works fine; the lyrics are just plain dumb. Definitely #NotCountry. (Disputable) #1 on both charts
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Postby trebor » Wed Dec 07, 2016 7:57 am

trebor's Year in Country music 2016
(December 2015 - November 2016 / Billboard/Mediabase Year)

So it's time to lay out my favourite tracks of 2016 and bare all the guilty pleasures and reveal all the shame! :wink:
Every week I chart 150 songs including all of the 60 Billboard airplay tracks.
Since the Billboard songs tend to chart for an eternity I have decided to apply a reverse point system for the 20 best frames for every title that made my chart. (#1 = 150 chart points and #150 = 1 chart point)
The ranking is solely point based and not a quality assessment; songs going into 2017 may be placed lower than they actually would with a complete chart run.

This is the result:
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Postby trebor » Wed Dec 07, 2016 8:14 am

# 415 - Drink You Away Justin Timberlake - RCA
Didn't make my chart but went to #60 on Billboard. Hence: 0 points and last place
# 414 - Put A Label On It Ryan Follese - Big Machine
Peak #150 (1 week) Going into 2017
# 413 - Yesterday's Song Hunter Hayes - Atlantic | WMN
Peak #147 (2 weeks) Going into 2017
# 412 - Hurt People Rick Brantley - Blue Otis
Peak #142 (1 week) Going into 2017
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Postby trebor » Wed Dec 07, 2016 8:19 am

# 411 - Thunder In The Rain Kane Brown - RCA Nashville
Peak #149 (11 weeks) Still charting
# 410 - The Way I Talk Morgan Wallen - Big Loud
Peak #146 (3 weeks) Going into 2017
# 409 - Body Language Gyth Rigdon - Gyth Ridgdon | Double Down
Peak #138 (1 week) Going into 2017
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Postby trebor » Wed Dec 07, 2016 8:24 am

# 408 - RED, WHITE & YOU Steven Tyler - Dot
Peak #148 (8 weeks)
# 407 - Come As You Are Turnpike Troubadours - Motel Time
Peak #134 (1 week) Going into 2017
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Postby trebor » Wed Dec 07, 2016 8:31 am

# 406 - For Her Chris Lane - Big Loud
Peak #148 (9 weeks) Going into 2017
# 405 - Suitcase Steve Moakler - Creative Nation
Peak #141 (3 weeks) Going into 2017
# 404 - Holy Days Sean McConnell - Rounder | Concord
Peak #132 (1 weeks) Going into 2017
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