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Released: 12th January 1999.

Britney Spears - ...Baby One More TimeYes, I know that having this album is practically a jail-able offense, and I did stand trial, but luckily was declared "Not guilty by reason of temporary insanity", and having regained my senses it's my duty to warn others.

Britney is the original one trick pony, her trick is "Baby One More Time" or more recently the almost identical "Oops...I Released It Again", er, I mean "Oops... I Did It Again". Other than that the American answer to Billie Piper (herself an answer to a question no one asked) has absolutely nothing to offer us. The album is sickly sweet, dripping in false emotions, but like a little girl wearing her mother's clothes it's obvious that Britney isn't really grown up enough for this.

Any time she tries to sing about feelings or emotions it sounds like someone retelling a story they once heard another person telling. There's nothing real here, the whole thing is just smoke and mirrors. Add to this the fact that she can't actually sing and you have a recipe for disaster.

Certainly pop confections like "Baby" are enjoyable and lovely, but the album itself is empty and unrewarding to listen to. The music may as well come straight out of the drum machine, and any girl could be murdering the lyrics.

Thanks, but no thanks. Whatever did we do to deserve this?

* * (Stephen Moore)

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