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Thread: The Last Thing To Make You Laugh

  1. #26
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    by » Sat November 27th, 2004, 00:20

    This may as well be the "Daz and Dave quotes thread"

    But we may get confused with Chas n Dave.

    So...

    Daz says:
    F*** you, Leprachaun w**ker
    Daffs says:
    i didnt know it was a leprachuan, i thought it was that woman from the krankees


    Made me laugh!
    When you left I lost a part of me, It's still so hard to believe
    Come back baby please cos We belong together

    June 27th

  2. #27
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    by » Sat November 27th, 2004, 00:21

    When I was at work, and I was bitching to the person I was working with about the person I have to work with tomorrow.
    Don't explain yourself 'cos talk is cheap,
    There's more important things than hearing you speak.

  3. #28
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    by » Sat November 27th, 2004, 00:23

    Oh, I can also name something that made me laugh hysterically today. My tutor is called Phil Warford, and I accidentally mis-spelled his name as Phil Warlock, let's just say he wasn't overly pleased.
    Don't explain yourself 'cos talk is cheap,
    There's more important things than hearing you speak.

  4. #29
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    by » Sat November 27th, 2004, 04:07

    Quote Originally Posted by Dazzle
    This may as well be the "Daz and Dave quotes thread"

    But we may get confused with Chas n Dave.

    So...

    Daz says:
    F*** you, Leprachaun w**ker
    Daffs says:
    i didnt know it was a leprachuan, i thought it was that woman from the krankees


    Made me laugh!
    Firstly I hate being called Dave or Davy and secondly...that makes us sound so sad.

    As I'm going through my chat logs:

    (6)Special D: Although more associated with it's singers, which tear-jerking ballad takes on even more significance as it's writers later committed suicide disillusioned with their lives in the music industry?
    (6)Special D: Vanilla?

    (6)Daz(6) YO: u heard where it is in the midweeks?
    (6)Special D: no have you?
    (6)Daz(6) YO: yeah :|
    (6)Daz(6) YO: 14,984
    (6)Daz(6) YO: oh sorry, thats where roger's little
    britain DVD is :-O
    (6)Daz(6) YO: Gwen's at 9

    Nikita Neuro: I know someone who has one of those things
    on their computer where you type stuff in and Stephen
    Hawkin's voice says it...
    Nikita Neuro: someone pranked me from that
    (6)Daz(6) Ho: We could fraud him :-O
    (6)Daz(6) Ho: *phone up his bank*
    "This is Stephen Hawking. I'd like to make a transfer"
    Johnny wanted cream buns for his birthday tea...

  5. #30

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    by » Sat November 27th, 2004, 23:26

    when my hyper mate (5 tubes of smarties each for us!) said the words "gruff muncher" to me...had to be there :-?
    Ciao x x x

    Song of the Moment
    Ciara - Goodies

  6. #31
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    by » Tue November 30th, 2004, 21:51

    alex: Daniel in his second week is lower than Tash in her 15th-ish
    Daz: lol. woo Thats what happens when your btother is a minger
    alex: yup , ergh he really is mingin aint he
    Daz: its like WHY DO I FIND MEN ATTRACTIVE
    alex: then you look at Michelle McManus and it's like THAT'S WHY

    was impressed with that!
    Keep your eyes on me...

    Manchester Arena - May 2nd 2008 - Céline Dion - Block B, Row A

  7. #32
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    by » Thu December 2nd, 2004, 02:40

    Me and David have a very unhealthy obsession with Hugh Grant and Divine (hence the avatars)
    And so we've both been in hysterics at this:

    Special David says:
    who do you want to be
    Daz says:
    said Hugh to Divine holding up some uniforms
    Daz says:
    i dont care - both ****
    Special David says:
    wanna change locations?
    Special David says:
    Divines lap
    Special David says:
    Hugh Grants face
    Special David says:
    hows this
    Divine Brown's Lap C/C My Limo
    Daz says:
    ive just done hugh grant's face
    Special David says:
    as Divine said after she got out of the limo
    When you left I lost a part of me, It's still so hard to believe
    Come back baby please cos We belong together

    June 27th

  8. #33
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    by » Thu December 2nd, 2004, 09:36

    Can you post stuff that doesn't need editing please. This isn't a porno site!

  9. #34
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    by » Thu December 2nd, 2004, 21:21

    It ISN'T a porno site?
    Wow. I've been going wrong for 2 years!

    And sorry Mr Lars. At 2am, I kinda forget whats inapprorpiate!
    When you left I lost a part of me, It's still so hard to believe
    Come back baby please cos We belong together

    June 27th

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    by » Thu December 2nd, 2004, 21:41

    Quote Originally Posted by Dazzle

    And sorry Mr Lars. At 2am, I kinda forget whats inapprorpiate!
    Said a friend of ours in his defence.

    I was watching an episode of Absolutely Fabulous and something Edina said really cracked me up.

    Edina: They're Suprer league rich, these people could order China as a takeaway!
    Johnny wanted cream buns for his birthday tea...

  11. #36
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    by » Thu December 2nd, 2004, 21:52

    Opening AOL and seeing that Alex Sibley has run over and killed an OAP made me giggle.
    i know love doesn't change a thing

  12. #37
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    When you left I lost a part of me, It's still so hard to believe
    Come back baby please cos We belong together

    June 27th

  13. #38
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    by » Thu December 2nd, 2004, 22:06

    Quote Originally Posted by TwistedAngel
    Opening AOL and seeing that Alex Sibley has run over and killed an OAP made me giggle.
    OMG

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    by » Thu December 2nd, 2004, 23:19

    Ohh actually, the last thing I laughed at was an interview on the radio earlier, with Geri.

    The DJ asked what Christmas presents would she buying for her celebrity friends, then he said George Michaels favourite colour was pink and to get him something that colour. Then she started shouting aggressivly down the phone "NO IT ISN'T!"!!

    I was giggling so much.
    Johnny wanted cream buns for his birthday tea...

  15. #40
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    by » Fri December 3rd, 2004, 20:33

    Ohhh, I fully forgot to tell this story. Happened to me about a month ago...

    OK, so I'm driving to work right? It's about 10.30am and I'm driving right in the middle of town, buildings, houses everywhere.

    So there I am, just driving along when a creature runs out across the road, forcing me to slam on my breaks. What sort of death-taunting creature forced me to slam on my breaks, I hear you ask? A chook.

    And all I could think at the time was: "WTF?! Why would a chicken cross the ro..."



    I hadn't laughed that hard until the Texas Muff(in) incident.

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    by » Tue December 21st, 2004, 00:03

    I was in hysterics at My Parents Are Aliens today. I was actually laughing at the screen for ages.

    Wendy got the part of Mary for the nativity.

    Lucy is lying bed talking to her on the phone:

    Lucy: That's the 5th time tonight. Goodnight, I need to sleep.

    [Hangs up]

    Phone rings.

    Lucy: Hello Wendy. Riding lessons? No I dont think you'll actually need to ride the donkey.

    Mid rehearsal she stops everyone.

    Wendy: I'm sensing Mary was a clean person. Would she really give birth in a stable? Any chance of a rewrite?

    Teacher: Of The Bible? Oh yeah, sure. It's not as if whole religions are based on it or anything!

    Wendy: I'll just work with it then.

    Rehearsals continue.

    Wendy: Excuse me, Miss. It's just - if the wisemen stand there the audience in the front row wont be able to see my frankinscence reaction

    [She then pulls this 'stunned' face]


    That girl who plays Wendy is hilarious. When she grows up she could be a brilliant comedy actress.
    Johnny wanted cream buns for his birthday tea...

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    by » Tue December 21st, 2004, 00:12

    I was watching McFLY Unzipped ( ) today, and they were talking about all thier awards they won at the SH Poll Winners, and Tom and Harry are there going "Oh my goodness, we're so grateful what are we gonna do with them oh my gosh" and Dougie just goes "We'll have to burn them"
    this town was meant for passing through but it ain't nothing new

  18. #43
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    by » Wed December 22nd, 2004, 20:56

    Meh, I'm soooo gonna get judged but what the hell!

    I was in a lauging fit today, with tears and all, over the word...oblong! Seriously, you say it enough times it loses all meaning as you drift into a state of hysterics!


  19. #44
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    by » Wed December 22nd, 2004, 21:05

    The new labour party compain slogan

    "Britain is working"
    He's finally made a come back. I'm now offically a semi-professional comedian. http://forums.chortle.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=35879.

  20. #45
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    by » Wed December 22nd, 2004, 23:29

    Quote Originally Posted by crazyman324
    I was in a lauging fit today, with tears and all, over the word...oblong! Seriously, you say it enough times it loses all meaning as you drift into a state of hysterics!
    Bloody hell, that works on me too!

    Ne, words do tend to lose all sense of meaning and pronunciation when you say them repeatedlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
    This post is highly unlikely to be serious. Please treat it accordingly. Unless it's music-related, in which case I'm damn well right.

  21. #46
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    by » Thu December 23rd, 2004, 13:41

    A chav tripped up on the footpath the other day.I thought that was funny!
    "It's so COOOOOOOOOOOLD in the D."

  22. #47
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    by » Thu December 23rd, 2004, 14:12

    Last night I went bowling for the "work Christmas party" and my boss was totally pissed, even before we left, and all night she was terrorising the poor assistants there, cuzz she kept getting the balls stuck down the alley, and she asked one of them to put her tit back in, because it fell out!
    this town was meant for passing through but it ain't nothing new

  23. #48
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    by » Thu December 23rd, 2004, 16:35

    Quote Originally Posted by Twixy
    Last night I went bowling for the "work Christmas party" and my boss was totally pissed, even before we left, and all night she was terrorising the poor assistants there, cuzz she kept getting the balls stuck down the alley, and she asked one of them to put her tit back in, because it fell out!
    How do you work, you're like 13! Is it a paper round or slave labour at £1 an hour?

  24. #49
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    by » Fri December 24th, 2004, 23:53

    Ok. So me and my friend Rachel have a list of people we're planning to kill, and Santa is top of it - so she just said:

    "I'm gonna put my fire on, so when he comes down my chimney, he'll burn"

    I've been in hysterics at that for 10 minutes!
    When you left I lost a part of me, It's still so hard to believe
    Come back baby please cos We belong together

    June 27th

  25. #50
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    by » Fri December 24th, 2004, 23:56

    Quote Originally Posted by Thriller
    Quote Originally Posted by Twixy
    Last night I went bowling for the "work Christmas party" and my boss was totally pissed, even before we left, and all night she was terrorising the poor assistants there, cuzz she kept getting the balls stuck down the alley, and she asked one of them to put her tit back in, because it fell out!
    How do you work, you're like 13! Is it a paper round or slave labour at £1 an hour?
    I can work. As long as the hours are between 6.00am and 8.00pm (or something) and pay is no higher than £2.50 an hour, it's all legal.

    And no, I don't do a paper round or slave labour, I'm an assistant in teacher toddlers how to swim.
    this town was meant for passing through but it ain't nothing new

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